Rho

Sorry megamysterioso and LaTeDa an others that may have gotten confused by me responding to my own posts from over a year and a few months ago. I went threw old posts and said to say here I thought I was doing great in life and well I'm not.

Well
1.) I have been clean since 2/21/04 and NO Relapses!
2.) Filed for Divorce July 05, but didn't push the issue and he never responded untill just recently because he is NOT getting his way with me again.
3.) I have slacked off attending meeting, and started to spend time with my AAH again, spending night with him at his moms, trying to make it work again and againa nd again. DUMB move on my part. I want to believe him and well he is NOTHING but empty promises.
4.) He has taken me to family court to get his child support lowered sued me to make me keep him on my health insurance and so on. He has NOT paid child support in 1-1/2 yrs he is in the hole for like 4500. Won't work his excuse is because he is goingto college full time (on the states money because he is a so called recovering addict) and it interferes with his work, he had a fender bender and is suing the guy that hit him in Nov 2004. He gets Dr notes after notes after notes of why he CAN't work he lies and manipulatesthe system so much.

I am going to stop #ing what I am saying to you all. Per LaTeDa and Megamysterioso I confused them on opening a post I wrote a long way back and they both suggested I update readers.

Well the update is I am doing great in most areas of my life, I am still home with parents trying to save money to get out and aI am also still with them becauseI feel safe being at there home and my AAH is NOT allowed here becaseu of all the hell he has put me and my family through. I have to respect there wishes and I do they have been there for me to support my emotions and acts. I have been doing great while back to work so welll that I got a 1K rase last year and this year I just got a wonderful 14% pay raise which is about a litle more then 200 extra a paycheck, I am a VP rep, I go to the gym each morning @ 5am before I start my day to get my daughter ready for school and my son for daycare. 2 days a week he goes to his Da-Das house becasue my AAH can't afford to pay me 50% of my weekly daycare cost so he/his mom watches my son twice a week but yet I stilll have to pay $150 a week for daycare for 3 days. All and all besided giving myAAH try after trya after try I ahave been doing great, I am trying VERY hard to move forward with my life with out him. It hurts me becasue on someday he puts the charm on and acts likethe man of my dreams, but then I think he lies ALL the time, won't work, won't pay child support, makes his mom support him, speaks at meetings and drug rehabs, but yet still uses drugs, I pressed harrassment charges on him 3 times an they all have been dropped because he is a RAT and then he gets off, he goes to church now to try and make himself look likea good person, he gives my son NO rules and I don't know.

I am going through hell and I have my 1st PRELIMINARY DIVORCE HEARING ON the 24th of this month and a HUGE part of my 90% can't wait to get this F*cker ot of my life, I wish he would find someone else and fall inlove withthem and leave me and my sone alsone. I know it is his son but the negative actions my AAH is doing OVER AND OVER does nothing but mess his son up and me.

Well sorry for rambling guys. I sent my update and I am a mess and I think I need a sponsor considering I have never had a sponsor in the past 2yrs 3 months I have been clean. I am a mess someone :uzi2: me..

Hope

Keep on venting and talking about your feelings. It really helps to get that stuff out and you always have us here to listen!! You don't have to go through that stuff alone. Reach out to us and we are right here reaching back!

Love,
Cheryl

Rho

Thanks Hop4Life. I have been reaching out a lot more then norm for the past few nights.. it is night # 4 tonight.