OctoberKayte

Drinking has been my only social life. Everything was so funny when I was wasted, but I miss genuine laughter. I think only "having fun" when drinking has maybe robbed me of the ability to enjoy things without it. This is my first alcohol free weekend and I'm going camping with the fam and planning to watch some classic movies like "Vacation" and "Caddyshack" when we get home. But then what?

Does anyone have some other suggestions about learning to enjoy life again? Is it true that alcohol use actually CAUSES depression??? Here I thought it was making me feel "happier". I also don't have any friends. Just my husband and our "drinking buddies" (who I will be avoiding ). Very scary-How do you make real friends in your 30"s??

Anna

There are so many things you can do when you stop drinking to fill your life. The thing that worked the best for me was volunteering. I got involved in volunteering just as I stopped drinking and it was the best decision I could have made. It got me outside of myself and doing something that was far bigger than me and my problems. I'm still doing it and loving it!

Justme57

I found new sober friends in AA. I had no friends at all when I quit, so AA has been a great source of friends

HUGX
Lee

clashman

I can relate. All of my friends are drinkers. I have started taking a lot of vitamins, exercising, reading, and I made a list of things to do that I always put off because my drinking came first. The vitamins help with the depression. I sure do not miss the hangovers, so enjoy the mornings. Since I have been sober, I try to engage myself in something. Whether it be a book or just cleaning around the house. Focus on the positive, and be thankful for another day of life with family. Forget about your drinking buddies and get to know your family again. I am also in my thirties and understand.

leviathon

Alcohol is a nervous system depressant,, run a search on google if you want the facts of go to www.medlineplus.com (US Dept of Health).

Anyway, enjoyment, anything but drinking.

Genuine laughter... gee when I stopped drinking it actually returned... I have, what I believe is a wicked sense of humour, and I lost it in the pool of booze... when I stopped it has gradually returned... it is a self depricating sense of humour so I harm no one but myself and I don't take me seriously so that is no worry... anyway, my first five days in detox allowed me to truly laugh for the first time, hope that helps.

Levi.

c'est la vie

You're in the right place here and hopefully you'll get a lot of suggestions from people with lots of sober time. I'm new at this and all my friends drink too. Fortunately I don't live near them right now so I don't have that pressure. I'm afraid to make new friends though since I can tell just by listening to them talk (all the moms at school) that it's the same ol' same ol. I don't have any good ideas of how to avoid the drunkfests since I seem to be drawn to them!

Right now though I'm really trying to focus more on me and my family. What do I want to do with my time, what would be fun for my family to do on weekends, what restaurant do I want to try with my husband? I'm not focusing on finding fun in other people. Myself, my kids, and my husband are the one's that really count so I don't want to miss the fun with them. I would suggest that you start there too and see where it leads.

wishful

You'll start finding happiness in a lot of little things you were missing before - like seeing the moon out late at night (usually I was bombed and had crashed in bed by then), and fireflies in the yard. Watching old movies has been a fun thing to do and has helped get through the days one at a time (thank you, Netflix). Do something a little creative, even and especially if you're not "that sort of person". Buy one of those cool sets of 100 different colored markers and just doodle! If you don't know what to doodle, make a commemorative of what numbered sober day you are on - put on some good music, sing and draw! Local community centers are great places to learn new things, from photography to gardening, too!

Wishful

"The capacity for delight is the gift of paying attention."

daddysgirl29

Hi. Congrats on your decision to stop drinking!! We can be your friends now, and believe me, we laugh a lot! Go over to Recovery Follies or Cafe Central for a giggle or two, and best of all, it's free and sober!

We've all been where you are. A phrase that you'll see over and over again on SR is 'you're not alone', and the truth is, you're not! Promise!

Best to you and a belated welcome.

MNGirlyGirl

This is so true! Just going for early morning walks I can find so much beauty in the small things that surround me everyday. I know that being busy is good. But remember that being still and taking in is also good.

Try some new hobbies -- maybe golf, tennis, stained glass. If you get involved with AA, a lot of groups go to baseball games, have picnics, etc. It will take time, but you will find that you will be able to fill all those empty places.

earlybird

Im guessing that you havent been sober that long since this is your first weekend sober. You havent been robbed. It comes back on its own. Just continue to do things that "should" be fun, and soon they will be. You cant expect to drink for a long time, quit, and have everything be hunky dorey right away. You are right where you are supposed to be. Dont worry. Just keep doing what you are doing and it will click. I promise you. I didnt think I would be able to enjoy ANYTHING without alcohol. Thats the #1 thing that kept me from quitting. I couldnt picture myself not drinking. I did what I was told, and now I find tons of enjoyment in tons of things I never thought I would. Great job, by the way, on your length of sobriety.