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Jhana 07-12-2006 10:49 AM

Hi all,

and in reply to Little Missy, I have been using other approaches than AA to stay sober; this is from the Staunton Peele thread that I found helpful this morning:

From Peele's book, 7 Tools to Beat Addiction

• ACHIEVEMENT —accomplishing constructive and socially valued goals, such as participating in athletics, running for office, getting an education, succeeding at work, or providing for your family

• CONSCIOUSNESS —being alert, awake, and aware of your surroundings; using your mind to make sense out of your life and experience

• ACTIVITY —being energetic in daily life and engaged in the world around you

• HEALTH —eating well, exercising, getting health care, and choosing an overall healthy lifestyle

• RESPONSIBILITY —fulfilling your commitments as well as doing what the law obliges you to do

• SELF-RESPECT —caring for and about yourself and, by extension, all people

• COMMUNITY —being involved in the communities of which you are part (your town, school, work organization, religious group, neighborhood, political party) and contributing to the welfare of these groups—and the larger world

(to all who have found sobriety totally within the program of AA, more power to you. It is a wonderful program, but it just hasn't completely worked for me...)

Kath, Denise, Laci, hugs from New York...

Little Missy 07-12-2006 03:33 PM

((Jhana)) That is great!! Thank you for sharing!!

Luckyv2 07-13-2006 05:44 AM

Lee/Justme57 Day 991
Little Missy Day 711
Luckyv2/Vic Day 49
LuLu70/Laura-Lu day 873
Miss Communicat/MC Day 220
Mrswoogie day 81
Nogard/Kevin Day 419
[email protected]_a_time Day 1465
Paper dolls day 222
Phinneas Day 635
Time2Surrender Day 414
True Blue/Janet Day 42
2dayz Day 738
AAFreeportPA day 991
Alera Day 278
Amymarie DAY 26
Arura Day 17
Bonnie Day 1277
Cathy31 107 days
JaySee Day 663
Jhana ...hi all, still here and not drinking today! (new name)
Hope4life/Cheryl....Glad to be sober today!

In Memorium: Trish (((Miracle))) Forever with us.

spirit 07-13-2006 06:04 AM

hi all
and thank you for the rewelcome and the wise words.

jhana, how come you changed your name, what is happening there haha

missy, i know you will always be there hon, it is getting me here that is the issue.

congrats to those who have many days under their belts and hi to those like me are at day one or is it hour one (being honest)

it is nice to be back, but it is interesting working out in my own head why i am here. i tend to come here when i have been drinking, or rather i cant seem to come here when i am not.

so i just go through the cycles, like we all do, counting the days sober or counting days drinking, the later is easier, cause we cant remember them (ironic laugh)

but i want to say that even in my non contact days, whether they be sober or drinking days, i do think of you all everyday, regardless of whether i post, even though i visit, and i try to keep up with all that is happening.


mm so where am i at now, i am struggling with the basics.
that is, i am drinking, social drinking, being a nice polite, responsible drinker, not out of control, not in the gutter evil spitting nonsense drinker. so my head says "hey you can do this" but my heart and my experience says "girl your cant do this , it is a trick - you will turn into those things you dont like later".

but the trick is that at the moment i am doing so well as the controlled drinker, i know it wont last, god i know that, but for some stupid god damned reason i am stuck in the point where i want to see if i can maintain the 'nice social controlled drinker", even though i know i wont.

at the moment i like to have a drink, i like the fact i can be 'normal' after work cooking dinner, etc etc keeping an eye on the 'bad moves'. at this stage i dont want to go back to AA cause i dont think i am that person, but if i dont do that, then i will be, but to go there now seems silly.

i guess i am being super honest because a) i have been here before and your guys know me well so i can tell you where i am at and you will understand - that cliff leaping moment b) i am enjoying drinking, bugger, i just like it and to not drink feels like a loss, even though i know and have experienced a greater and better life without it and c), ironically my honesty comes from having a drink - i want to get back to being that honest without a drink. i know it can happen, i just dont want to jump off that 'give up cliff' yet, when i am 'allegedly' doing so well as the controlled social drinker.

does all that make sense. if i was really honest with myself, all of the above means i need to stop. i am at that cliff, either be totally useless with the booze because it cannot be controlled, or trick myself that i can keep going being a good 'drinker' until i fall into a heap.

so please bare with me at this time, maybe i am learning that it is harder not to do this thing when i am not gutter drunk. who knows maybe i am gutter drunk but because i am in my house and i am having a nice wine, that itdoesnt seem necesssary to let go, at this time.

so i shall keep posting, checking in now, but taking it in my own time, god i havent even got the emotional strength to check out my own thread, maybe i should, NOW that would be scary hahaha

ok some bragging, part of what has brought me back is that my son (and i dont know if i have already said this) has been chosen to represent our state in the national school boy wrestling titles in another state, in september this year. wrestling isnt as big here as it is in the USA or canada, but to picked in a state squad is a big thing for him, he is 13. so for me the challenge that i need to work on over the next couple of months is my fear of flying (we have to go in a bloody plane), he has never been in a plane, we have never even had a holiday, he is my baby and we have never been able to do that. so when he got picked, i panicked, i was excited, but i also realised that the way i cope with stuff (drinking) is not appropriate to take him and a bunch of kids on a plane and to another state for 4 days (ironic laugh)

so apart from all the other crap i have said above, let me put this in your geographical terms, you live in florida and you have to fly to new hamshire with your child and others, being allergic to flying and you cant drink to get over that fear. yep i am doing some other things, to deal with it, but really the drinking has become a huge red light for me. drinking in my house is very different to drinking to cope on such an event, I cant do it to him and the other kids and we leave at 9am in the morning so that is really not a good time to be drinking hahahahahah.

anyway enough said, in summary i am back, alcohol is causing me to explain too much, but those who know me, will understand my recent silence and those who dont know me, will learn about me.

in the mean time i am spending lots of money on airfares, and wrestling singlets that we have to import from the USA hahaha, wrestling is not big in aus, in fact when i have been fundraising people say "wrestling - what is that hahah" but he loves it and wants to be a smackdown wrestler or a doctor, i suggested a doctor who wrestles hahaha

anyway too much wine, too much raving, it is nice to be back

hugs and maybe tomorrow can be a 'no drink day for me"

spirit 07-13-2006 06:30 AM

god that was way too long - sorry haha
heading to find my own thread, that might be better

PaperDolls 07-13-2006 08:47 AM

I feel ya spirt, I feel ya! :Val004:

Day 222 for me. My gf will be gone all next week for work. It's a huge trigger for me as I don't like being alone. I used to get drunk enough to pass out so I could sleep. In the past I've had panic attacks at night being scared out of my mind. I think my meds have helped with that so we'll see. There are some beers in the fridge from when my FIL was in town. I'm going to as my gf to take them with her so I don't drink them. I was eye-ing them last night......thinking, Ooooooh, I could have those next week. Thank goodness the thought only lasted for half-a-second but non the less those beers need to be gone.:hypnotize

spirit 07-13-2006 09:22 AM

hi paperdolls - nice to meet you, good god girl with your days up you have so much to inspire us with. if the FIL wont take those beers, tip them down the sink, it is dead. they are not worth losing your days over, i know
read a good book, eventually you will sleep


ASH 07-13-2006 04:54 PM

Not Quitting Today :kitty:

Jhana Thanks for the post, looks like good advice for living well
Missy Hope your able to take it a bit easy at work, its great your on the mend
Kath So good to hear from you, you must be so proud of your son,
this is a huge deal, hope you are able to get past the anxiety and enjoy
Paper Dolls Kath got it right, pour those things out,
give up 222 for a beer, NO WAY!!!!:egypt:

(((DQ's))) Whatever it is alcohol will not help,:grouphug: no quitting today

lulu70 07-13-2006 07:22 PM

Hey all--I feel sort of out-of-touch with everyone because I haven't been posting much, so here I am saying, "Here I am!" and thinking of all of you wonderful people.

Life has been a little bit crazy. Not unusually so, but crazy nonetheless. Last week, as you all know, my beautiful daughter was away at camp. She had a wonderful time, but I ended up feeling like I should have done more while she was gone. Why can't I make myself develop some sort of a social life? I actually know why.... I am scared of putting myself out there, being rejected (or rejecting myself, if that makes any sense), and turning to alcohol again. But I can't hide here in my apartment or at my meetings forever. It is not healty. I am lonely. I am a social creature, and I need to find a way to get some of that part of my life back. It's been over 2 years already!!!

There--I spewed a little bit to you wonderful folks. Hope I didn't make too much of a mess.... :)

ASH--You are only partially right, you know. Alcohol may actually make the pain go away for a little while. The big problem is that when the effect wears off, and it will, you are left with the same mess you had to begin with and most likely more chaos to put in the mix. Not for me..... No thanks!!

Kath--We are all here for you, darlin'. You can post here whenever you want. I must admit, the idea that you might be able to continue drinking moderately scares me a little bit. I don't ever want to go back to where I was, but I know I could be sucked into it very easily. Maybe this time it really will be different for you. Who knows? If it isn't, maybe this will be the time when you will be able to put it down for good. Regardless, we all love you and want you to be happy. Keep letting us know how it is going...

PaperDolls--So glad you decided to join us. I know what you mean about being worried what will happen when the gf is away. I had sort of the same feeling when my daughter was away. In my past life, that would have been a time for all bets to be off. And it was a holiday.... Thank heaven I don't have to do that anymore.

Vic--You wonderful guy, you. Thanks for keeping up the bus for us!!! Hope all is going well for you...

Missy--How are you feeling? Are you getting around better now? How is work going? I had a great group conscience meeting the other night. Just reaffirmed how much I love my home group and how grateful I am that, so far, AA is working for me.

Arura--Way to go on 2+ weeks. That is awesome. Thanks for sharing your recovery with us.

AAFreeportPA--Welcome to the bus!! Hang on tight.

Denise--I am so glad you are sticking with us for a while. It just never seems quite right when you are not here.

Jhana--Okay.... You must tell me how to pronounce that. Everytime I see your new name, I stutter over it (in my brain, thank goodness. I'm not talking out loud to my computer, YET!)

Timm--Welcome to you as well. We need all the riders we can get. There is safety in numbers!!

((((((((((((((((Laci, Lee/Justme57, Miss Communicat/MC, Mrswoogie, Nogard/Kevin, [email protected]_a_time, Phinneas, Time2Surrender, True Blue/Janet, 2dayz, Alera, Amymarie, Bonnie, Cathy31, JaySee, Hope4life/Cheryl)))))))))))))))))

Love to you all, and no quitting!!!

Arura 07-14-2006 01:35 AM

Thanks Lulu, This place is my fisrt port of call, after the kettle, in the morning My bf thinks SR has seriously helped me,and i agree.
With out you lot, i would'nt have starterd to turn the drinking around.

So Just for Tody i' aint Quitting Today....!

Thanks ALL...

many many hugs...x

Luckyv2 07-14-2006 03:55 AM

Lee/Justme57 Day 992
Little Missy Day 712
Luckyv2/Vic Day 50
LuLu70/Laura-Lu day 874
Miss Communicat/MC Day 221
Mrswoogie day 82
Nogard/Kevin Day 420
[email protected]_a_time Day 1466
Paper dolls day 223
Phinneas Day 636
Time2Surrender Day 415
True Blue/Janet Day 43
2dayz Day 739
AAFreeportPA day 992
Alera Day 279
Amymarie DAY 27
Arura Day 18
Bonnie Day 1278
Cathy31 108 days
JaySee Day 664
Jhana ...hi all, still here and not drinking today! (new name)
Hope4life/Cheryl....Glad to be sober today!

In Memorium: Trish (((Miracle))) Forever with us.

Thanks Laura hope that everyone here has a fantastic day. May each of your HP's Bless you to the ultimate. Another day, another gift of today.

Love Vic :bananadan

wingsfree 07-14-2006 11:17 AM

((((((((Don't Quitters))))))))


(((Laura))), I wish I knew what to tell you, I've got myself in a rut at the moment, I do understand what you mean, I'm very social also. What about AA...don't they have dances and such there? Just be yourself ok, time to stop worrying about the what if's. How about joining some kind of group activity, bowling..etc.

At the moment I'm waiting to see what my Dr says, I picked up a job application, we'll see how that goes, time to get out with the living. Pushing you from Canada Laura....RELAX and go have some fun.

Welcome to the bus ((((((((Tim)))))))) I hope you're surgury goes well, yep we need you to keep us on track.

Hope everyone is doing well, keep up the fantastic job doing the
Sober Happy Dance...ahhhhh feels good.

(((Jana...Laci...Bonnie...Missy...Janet...Vic...Ar ura...Paperdolls...Kath...Ash...AAFreeportPA...Lee ...
Miss Communicat...Mrswoogie...Kevin...Tom Phinny... Time2Surrender...Janet...LeAnne...Alera...Amymarie ...Cathy31...JaySee...Cheryl))))

Well that's it for now, it's so hot here, need to get out of this little room, I don't have the luxury of AC..grateful for fans, love how they move the hot air around :eek5: Time to do a rain dance.

Nope Not Quitting

Anna 07-14-2006 12:32 PM

Hi DQr's,

It's so good to see everybody here! :banana:

2dayzmuse 07-14-2006 12:47 PM

Not quitting today. Nope, I'm moving forward and facing life and what it throws my way sober.

Luckyv2 07-14-2006 01:18 PM

Originally Posted by 51anna
Hi DQr's,

It's so good to see everybody here! :banana:

:c005: :c031:

OH BTW I did mean to thank myself up there LOL

Luckyv2 07-15-2006 04:04 AM

Lee/Justme57 Day 993
Little Missy Day 713
Luckyv2/Vic Day 51
LuLu70/Laura-Lu day 875
Miss Communicat/MC Day 222
Mrswoogie day 83
Nogard/Kevin Day 421
[email protected]_a_time Day 1467
Paper dolls day 224
Phinneas Day 637
Time2Surrender Day 416
True Blue/Janet Day 44
2dayz Day 740
AAFreeportPA day 993
Alera Day 280
Amymarie DAY 28
Arura Day 19
Bonnie Day 1279
Cathy31 109 days
JaySee Day 665
Jhana ...hi all, still here and not drinking today! (new name)
Hope4life/Cheryl....Glad to be sober today!

In Memorium: Trish (((Miracle))) Forever with us.

Little Missy 07-15-2006 06:39 AM

Morning ((All))

((Kath)) You just be safe girl!! You know it's like playing with fire, eventually we get burned!! And you also know, "normal"/social drinkers don't have to TRY to limit their drinks. Just be careful, ok!!

((Denise)) Doing the happy sober dance with you!! Mine is more like a slow dance right now. LOL I'll be able to do this soon. :banana: Always reminds me of ((TED))!!

((Laura)) I don't know how to get out and do things either. My life revolves around family, work, and AA. No wonder people get empty nest syndrome. Kids is all we know and about all I have time for.

((Vic)) Thanks for keeping up the list. I still don't use the thank you button. But I see you use it enough for both of us!! LOL I'm so glad you're back on the bus with us. Your days are really adding up!!

((Arura)) I here ya girl. I don't know what I would have done without this place. I sure wouldn't be where I am now, wherever that is!! Oh yeah, I'm right where I'm suppose to be!!

((PaperDolls)) I feel for you. I think this is a moment of learning and growth. I say that a lot, because I seem to go through that alot. There will always be things out there that can tempt us. Sorry it is in your own home. Right now you are looking into the future, and looking at your old behaviors. You could tell your gf how you are feeling and ask if the beer could go somewhere else while she is gone. Or, of course, you could dump it out. Your sobriety comes first!! Just because she is gone is no excuse to drink. The reason being, YOU will know. Oh the times I tried to hide my drinking from others and the one I mainly hurt was myself. Just remember why you have over 200 days sober!! Each of those days is a blessing and a miracle!!

WOW these posts get long when trying to talk to each of you. Just know that I love you all and think of you often. An old timer said this at a meeting the other day and it keeps running through my mind. "I may not know what HP's will IS for me, but I sure know what it ISN'T."

No quitting for me today!!

ASH 07-15-2006 02:55 PM

NOT quitting today, Good choice!:fish:

Arura 07-15-2006 03:32 PM

Thanks ALL.x

:Val004: :Val004: :Val004:

For i think you know...x

Luckyv2 07-15-2006 06:07 PM

((Vic)) Thanks for keeping up the list.

I still don't use the thank you button. But I see you use it enough for both of us!!
LOL I'm so glad you're back on the bus with us. Your days are really adding up!!
Yep that is a character defect of mine still like to push some buttons :sly:

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