New And Unsure
 

hi

I am new to this site and wondered if anyone can help, I have had to stop drinking as I have liver failure and I am finding this very difficult because drinking is a big part of my life as I love going out and socialising, I really want to go out tonight and have a drink but know I shouldnt but its all I can think about, does that make me have an alcohol problem? I never thought I did but I may feel a bit like I do now because if I drink its damaging me now, I have other problems too with depression and I have always drank to block out these feelings, I also have been in hospital for a week due to alcohol, but I still struggle with saying I have a problem I just really enjoy drinking, and I cant think of anything to replace it I have racked my brain trying to but theres nothing I like more than going out socialising, and its not because I need to its because I want to but its now interferring with my health and I still want to drink, does this sound to you like I have a problem?

thanks jill

First off I would like to welcome you here to SR!!!! Here you will find out whatever you're looking for. We don't like to pronounce anyone as being alcoholic. In chapter 4 of the Alcoholic Anonymous Big Book, in the first paragraph it says:

Now mind you that doesn't mean that you might not be a potential alcoholic. Maybe you should try going to a meeting, you don't have to talk, just sit there and listen and maybe you might be able to relate to what they are saying. Any way welcome here and I am sending good thoughts your way.

Vic

Hi Vic

Thanks for that I am a bit scared to go to a meeting, but I might try tonight cause I really dont want to drink tonight but its all I can think about so I guess I should try to go

thanks again
jill

Hi Jill, I'm glad that you are here seeking answers. You are certainly not alone. I think a meeting sounds great.

Stick around and keep reaching out.

Don't be afraid, you will be welcomed with open arms. From the sound of it you have the mind that all it can think about is a drink. Well for me and I have had some sobriety at times, I hear that for us (alcoholics/addicts) that is what we do, it will always be in our minds. In time it will lesson, but it will still pop up from time to time. Today is day 4 for me I believe, but I know that this isn't an easy thing to do, I also know that it is doable. So if you ever need to talk I do have ***** messenger and msn messenger. I will sure keep you in my thoughts though OK>>>

Vic

Hi Jill,

"You are free to continue drinking full blast for the rest of your life. You are also free to stop anytime you wish."

My wife told me that over five years ago, and it was like a light went off in my head. I thought, oh yeah, I created this pattern. I can un-create it.

But it sounds like you still really enjoy drinking, so it's entirely up to you. I don't think it is ever productive to try and talk someone into quitting. Unless they have children. Do you have children?

--Scott

no i dont have any children its just me and my partner and my partner doesnt really drink much

Hi, Jill, and yes, it DOES sound like you have a problem - a big one, but one that you can conquer if you have the drive and the help, if you need it. DEFINITELY get to a meeting, and if you find it's not for you, try another one, and if not, there are other alternatives. How much/how long are you drinking? Any chance of really bad withdrawls? If so, do you have insurance and could you get to a safe place - like a detox clinic - to help? With liver failure, this might be a necessity. Talk to your dr., and be honest! it might be a matter of life and death at this point!
Many have been in your shoes, and still done it, so you can to!! I've also suffered from depression for 18 years now, but I have a good dr. who helps me cope. Alcohol is also a depressant and is not helping you in that aspect.
You can do it and we're here to help, but the most important decision is up to you.

Good luck and I hope you stick around!
-DG

Hi Jill and Welcome!...:)

Your body is telling to quit
Your mind tells you to drink.

I am sorry to see you are in this situation. Hugs

Jill,
Please try a meeting tonight instead of going out,

I had an aunt...my favorite aunt, an amazing woman, funny, full of life and also an alcoholic.She drank all my life until her liver failed her. She had a choice too. She could live her life and stop drinking or she could drink and die. She was resistant to AA and any form of help, so you can imagine her decision.
I wish I would have been able to help her but she really had to do it herself. I also wish I had known about this site, Because it has helped me more than I can ever say.

I also have my sober times...addict inside my head is always telling me to use but I CHOOSE not to. It is hard and you have to fight. Stay strong and PLEASE try out a meeting.
Peace and I will pray for you.
~Beezy

Hey There Jill,

CarolD is right. Your body is telling you to quit but your mind is telling you to drink.

Drinking probably feels like the one thing that makes you feel good. It makes you feel real good all over. Going without it probably feels like an impossibility at this point. What else in life could possibly provide as much fun, and good, warm feelings?

Without it, you are depressed and anxious. And your body probably feels like sh*t.

So, the answer is to pour another down your throat. Magic cure. Magic cure that is killing you.






Jill, have you been thinking about other people who live without alcohol and who live happy, fulfilling lives? Have you imagined that perhaps you could too? Have you thought that maybe, just maybe, you are not fulfilling your true potential because alcohol consumes so much of your energy?

But it feels impossible to give it up.

It is an old, dear, reliable friend.

You used to use the friend to relax and enjoy life. Now the tables have turned, and the friend is using you. It's using up your body, your mind, your awareness.

Somewhere inside, the real you is still there, however.

The question is, will you learn this in time to save your life?

--Scott

Hi Jill,

Several on here have urged you to go to meetings, and I just want to add that there are other alternatives, too.

One being, you could just quit and never look back.

Millions do.

--Scott

I was loaned the book "Drinking: a Love Story" written by a woman, and it really helped me to understand that although my actual drinking patterns were very different from the author, my THOUGHT process was exactly the same. I believe that it's how you THINK about drinking that determines your level of problems...

You might try www.aa.org and click on "44 Questions" and some of the other tabs that also suggest you can determine whether or not you have a problem. This will also help you to get in contact with someone who can help you find a meeting.

If you are not comfortable in mixed sex meeting, you might seek out a women's group...there are usually one or more of those in most cities per week (where I'm from).

The fact that you sought out this sight, and were brave enough to post, tells me that something inside of you (other than your liver) is trying to tell you something....

God Bless you on this journey, whatever your choice may be today.

Kari

Hi Jill, I am so sorry you are in this situation. I do hope you made it to a meeting.

Liver failure is very serious, and life threatening. You NEED to stop.

Please do everything in your power to get immediate help to stop.

Best wishes
Lee

Jill,

Justme57 is absolutely right. Liver failure is very serious and you need to stop if you hope to save yourself. What has your dr told you about this health situation?

I hope you keep posting and you'll find lots of support here.

Jill, your here, asking, and that a good start to answering your own questions... theres a lot of info here, advice, and some wisdom........ use it to your best.... good wishes Jill...... Pattee

Hi Guys

I really appreciate all your replies thanks very much, but I didnt go to a meeting last night, I sat in watched a couple of films and drank a bottle of wine. I,m not proud of the fact I done that and a meeting probably would have been the right thing to do but to be honest I am really scared of the sound of it although I would like to stop drinking in the same hand I really enjoy it and its something I have always enjoyed doing, would like to stop but cant think of a replacement for it. I have tried socialising without alcohol but I find it very boring liustening to other people after they have had a few.
I would like to say that today was the new start and no more drink but I dont feel that way I wish I did cause when I get something into my mind I know i can do it, but its just not there just now and I dont know what to do for the best.

I am sorry, but I cannot believe you are asking if you have a problem...

YOU HAVE LIVER FAILURE... IF YOU DRINK YOU COULD DIE... AND YET YOU CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT HAVING A DRINK... ALCOHOL DESTROYS THE LIVER... or what you have left of it...

Hmmm lets see, life or death... to drink or not to drink?

This is like asking "Hmmm if I put a three bullets in a six round chamber and spin it and pull the trigger, I might die, but I really enjoy the excitement I get from it ... should I do it just one more time?"


Levi

You know you can do whatever you want. Problem here is, you don't know what you want. I don't get the impression you've considered the alternatives, realistically looked at your situation, or know your options. You've repeated multiple times how you don't know if you have a problem and you "don't know what to do" and you can keep on repeating that as a means to not DO anything about this, instead stick with the familiar in what you DO know and keep on drinking. Your choice, to remain willfully oblivious to your options, or make an attempt to become informed about the REALITY of your situation. Once you have more information and take that bold move to look at what you're doing THEN you can make a decision. Otherwise you're just choosing to remain blissfully ignorant and stuck. There's so much to learn in listening to others OUTSIDE of your own isolated addict-thinking brain that's making you very sick. There's a healthy lot of caring and compassion and information and support and wisdom out there if you're WILLING to receive and consider it. Try being open to it, let it enter in and shed new light on your familiar old ways. Only then can positive change begin. Wishing you well, Jill.

Jill I cant believe that you do not grasp the gravity of the fact that you have liver failure! YOU WILL DIE if you dont stop drinking.

it is not a pretty death, believe me, i have nursed many.

Please try to gather resources, to help you quit.

HUGX
Lee