Haven't hurt this bad in a long time
 

Ok, well, remember that guy I let go of a while ago? I did really well being out of contact with him ... for a long while. I ended up needing someone to help me move out of my apartment and he had a truck so I asked him to help me. He didn't have a problem with it when we talked on the phone.

But when he came to move my stuff, he just had a bad attitude the whole time. He acted so mean about it. Even though he said he didn't have a problem with moving my stuff, his attitude showed differently.

I can't believe that I was still so naive to think that something positive would happen out of that. The end result is a hurting heart.

I am not going to use over this. I really just wanted to vent and I needed someone to listen.

A good lesson may have come from this...as well as getting help moving.

Our hopes don't change people. Our hopes keep us going.
His actions should be your only clue that he has changed.

It is tough getting over a relationship. Pray through it and let go as you let God.

((((Hope))))

((Hope)) I'm sorry you are hurting. And ((Best)) is right, at least you got help moving!! hehe I know I've said this before, but it always helps me when I am hurt, or I'm treated not so nicely. Some people teach us how we don't want to be!!

How's the new place!?!

Hi, Hope! I'm new to this board and have been shy about responding to posts other than mine, but what you said struck me. It reminds me of my relationship with alcohol. It's like, I broke off the relationship for a good reason...we had our good times, but all in all it was toxic. In the back of my mind I knew that at some point in the future I may be weak enough to try and hook up with it (alcohol) again...just to see how its doing. Only to re-discover what I knew all along--that friend is no good for me. That friend was toxic before and will always be toxic. It's tough, but it's reality.

Hope4Life:

Screw him! He doesnt deserve you! Look at yourself

*puts you in front of a mirror*

Look how kind you are. How compassionate you are daily. Look how you pick us up even when he has planted you on your bottom. You are a sweet girl that doesnt NEED this.

Think about it hun, he is really the only thing that 'hurts' you now that the drugs are gone. IMHO, he was far more unhealthy for you than even the drugs.

They dont make 12 step programs to rid yourself of someone you love dearly but I have an ax you can borrow to detach. Leave that boy alone... he doesnt deserve the salt in his bread if he treats you that way.

******{hope}}}}

LOL, yeah, at least I got help moving!! So something good came out of that. :09:

I told him that he was being mean and his attitude was nasty. Then I told him that I can do better than that and told him to just go away. (By that, I meant that I don't want to see him anymore, at all.)

He was probably shocked that I told him that. But, I was so kind and nice to him and then the whole time he was just so mean about everything.

When he came to pick me up, my mom even said that he had an attitude. I just felt so miserable while we were moving.

Maybe he was just being all rude because I gained 10 lbs since the last time I saw him. A few days ago on the phone he told me that I was a pretty girl but if he thought I was fat or ugly, then he wouldn't want to hang out with me. He is so shallow.

I deserve better than that. I won't allow myself to be treated with such disrespect. At least, I got the moving behind me now so I'm glad.

And maybe it gave you the final closure you needed to really move on, no? I spoke with my ex, who is a coke addict, a few months ago when he got out of jail (again). He was clean, mainly I think because he's on house arrest for 6-23 for the last probation violation of a series of hot urines. Anyway, my point was, I only allowed him to call me because his mother said he'd been wanting to, and I thought, well who am I to stand in the way of someone if they want to make amends and move on? Not so....he's pretty much the same arrogant schmo that he was when he was using....the drugs may be gone, but the attitude is not. I didn't have any ideas about getting back together, but that conversation showed me that I made the right decision leaving in the first place. NOW I finally have closure. Hopefully that's what this was for you too!!!

Good luck with the new place....and congrats, you're doing great! How long is it now?

Rubbish! You are beautiful and kind and caring of others! You fell in love with him and you hurt, sure that is only natural! I promise you, it will get better! just make sure you look after you! XX

(((Cheryl))) what everybody else said!!!! Lots of good responses here.
I broke up with a guy once and it wasnt until I heard this saying that I
was able to move on:
"I was in love with the illusion of who I wanted you to be"

We keep going back for more because we dont want to recognize
the most simple things...
It doesnt work, and he is never going to be who you want him to be,
he is who he is, and that doesnt sound good enough for you!

Sail on, better things are ahead:boat

Men are like buses... sit anywhere and wait for about 15 minutes and sure enough... one will come along.

I dun sweet um. Too plentiful.

oh my God that guy sounds like a complete jerk. Shallow doesnt fully cover it. He is not only mean to you he is also very direspectful. If someone ever told me they wouldnt hang out with me anymore because I gained weight hose would be the last words they ever spoke to me. If they decided to try and talk to me I would completely ignore them. Who does he think he is Mr. GQ? Before trying to restart a relationship, you have to remember there was a reason you broke up in the first place. You deserve so much better. This may sound a little weird, but consider yourself lucky that he was mean to you, because now you can let him go. You dont need to take his attitude and insults. It really pisses me off when people are mean to one another. If he couldnt be nice he should have never offered to help. Sure he did help you, but he also hurt you. Take care of yourself, and keep the negative people OUT of your life. Also remember you cant change people you can only change the way you react to them. I know I am still all f;'d up , but the only person I have ever mistreated was myself due to my inability to let the drugs go, but I am really working on it this time. I always heard the statement" I am sick and tired of being sick and tired, but now I am finally starting to feel it. I am soooooo tired. Iam sorry to hear that someone hurt you. You have always been very kind to me, and you deserve to be treated kindly.

Aww, Hopie. What a punk!! Want me to come down there and kick some jerk-butt?!

I'm sorry, sweetie. You're too beautiful inside and out to tolerate that. I agree w/ the one post that maybe this will give you final closure(?) If he was nasty, that's HIS problem! Some people, when they feel guilt or responsibility, turn it around on the person that doesn't deserve it. I have a brother that acts like that ALL the time. Instead of saying "I'm sorry I hurt you", he acts 10 times worse so he won't feel bad. REAL grown up, huh? (Oh, and my brother will be 50 next year!!)

Put this behind you, along w/ him. If he is that shallow, he'll get what's coming to him. Name ONE self-respecting woman who would tolerate that...yep....I can't name one either.

You keep your pretty head up, honey. REAL friends would never do that to you.

Love,
DG

grrrr what a bum

Some people have no clue how to talk over things... so they take their anger out in a passive agressive way. The message tho comes out loud and clear and usually makes things worse. Sounds like this guy has issues hun. And... issues you don't need.

I agree... put it behind you as you can only control your actions not his.

Hang in there

Suga

Learning to love and respect myself
 

You know, the sad part is that this is the guy that I used to change myself for. I used to think that I was never good enough for him. My self-esteem was so low and I didn't love myself enough to tell him to get lost then. I listened to his stuff and I always felt a need to be someone else.

Until I finally got courage to start the journey toward self-love and then I let him go. I noticed that my self-esteem started getting so much better and I was respecting myself more.

A while had gone by and I just felt like contacting him to move and I really feel like now I have that closure. By the way he treated me, I can finally feel that sense of being completely finished. That was it with him.

I love myself enough to stand up and say that I will NOT tolerate anyone treating my that way. He couldn't even look me in the eyes since I have gained weight since the last time he saw me. I will not be ashamed of myself. I will love myself and be gentle to myself.

He definitely has *NO* place in my life!!

Good for you Hope!! *hugs*