not looking for sympathy, wanted to be honest
 

I drank today and I'm feeling sad about the choice. I had 2 beers in the last week and was feeling good about the "moderation". This morning I excercised and then went to the grocery and was feeling really productive and healthy. Then I ended up in the alcohol aisle. I passed the whole wine section and was prepared for the cravings, but then I saw a bottle of Smirnoff Ice. Yum. I bought it and drank it as soon as I got home. Then I finished the last drops of my husbands secret bottle of vodka in the freezer. I'm worried he'll smell it on my breath.

So lay it on thick about me being an alcoholic in denial. I'm so sad, but I don't think I'll change. I just saw a smilie that say's "you're a tool" and I thought it said "you're a FOOL" I thought it was for me.

Hey Winelover,

You know ya can't change overnight. You have come a long long way from where you once were and you haven't returned there nor do you have the need to...do you? I don't have to ask that.

Please don't be so hard on yourself. Remember your progress and start again tomorrow. OK?

BIG FAT HUG!
Etimee

I'm sorry you're feeling sad about your choice today. I don't have anything brilliant to say, but I do understand the thoughts & feelings you're having.

Take care,
Jane

It's so stupid that I really wanted to hear you guys say that. I really have come a long way from where I was and I don't want to go back. I thought I would have this "treat" and be happy, but it didn't happen that way.

I'm right there with ya, Winelover. I know my new quit date is coming but it hasn't come yet. I drank much less wine the last two nites. I used to be a vodka drinker too, until after awhile I really Knew the definition of insanity. Still doesn't mean I'm permanently in control, though - it sure never has before!

Keep on keepin' on and I think we can do it !?

Peace Out

:theyareon I wonder what this emotioncon is?
_________________________________________

An AA saying.....
"A head full of AA and a belly full of boose is not fun."

I guess that is still true...Hugs

Well beating yourself up over this...what good will that do? Try to learn from this lil slip, what lead to it, how can it be prevented in the future, etc. :)

Oh well, live and learn!

ANOTHER BIG FAT HUG!

Etimee

Wine,
If I had a quarter for everytime I relapsed...I'd have...alot of quarters.

Give yourself a break, move on from that grocery store foul-up. At least you KNOW you don't want to drink.

I found that looking at the positive is much better for the mind than beating yourself up.


Stay strong,


Golf


http://img61.imageshack.us/img61/1558/eggbfly42nb.gif

Just because this egg is hardboiled
and hidden with care.....

Winelover. I"m right there with ya Babe!

Golf99 that made me laugh about the quarter thing. I"m psyching myself to go to a meeting tonight and have been venting all day, but that quarter line just strike me silly. I laughed out loud at work. I guess if I had a dollar for every drink I had or if I just didnt buy the sh#t. I have a lot of dollars instead of a lot sh#t.

We'd all be millionaires! :chairfall

I think that once we decide (even temporarily) that we have "alcohol issues" , our ability to ever enjoy drinking is shot.

Take care, all!
Jane

Hi Winelover,
I'm sorry about your slip I know how painful it is....
I am glad you had the courage to post about it because it helped me today. I had to go out and drink AGAIN last week and what's worse was starting to get that,"...oh well, I guess this is just who I am" thinking. :lame:
Wrong, that is not who I am and it is not who I am going to be.
I want sobriety and I am going to keep at it until I get it
and it sounds to me like you will too!
Focus on your strength and the positive progress you have made.
Take care and see you here tomorrow:)

Hi There "winelover"
You Are Not Alone, Thats For Sure. I Used To Call Myself "the Relapse Queen"
My Intentions Were Good, But Couldnt Make It Past 4 Days, Or A Week!!! Everytime I Went To An Aa Meeting, For About A Year, When They Asked 'is Anyone Here For Their 1,2,3 Meeting After Their Last Drink, I Would Always Raise My Hand. I Felt Weird But Kept Trying. After Going To Treatment Again, It Has Stuck For A Few Months Now.
So There Is Hope!! Cant Do It Alone, Though..
Dust Off, Try It Again.

Hi Winelover,

Moderation never worked for me. Even if I wasn't craving a drink, I was thinking about it, even obsessing about it. I'd think I'd have a drink, later tonight, just two, and what shall I drink.... For me, it works so much better to just get it out of my mind, out of my life. There are so many more important things to think about.

Be kind to yourself and realize that your addict mind is playing with you. It will continue to play with you if you let it. You can recognize its messages and ignore them!

Hi Winelover,

Thank you for coming in here and opening up. I learn so much from your process.I'vee been struggling abit lately, off and on, and your post has reminded us of the down side...the bad feelings...after a relapse.

Please know you can keep putting sober time together and watch it grow inside of your mind.It will be worth the difficult time you are going through right now.

I send you heaps of support!

((((((Winelover)))))) There is no shame in falling down. The shame comes when you don't take the hand to help you back up. We're all here, holding our hands out to you! It's all gonna be okay. Just get back at it!

~sending parisian hugs to you~ Hang in there and don't beat yourself up. You are getting stronger everytime you pick yourself up and try again.

Suga

It takes what it takes. You'll quit when you've had enough. I hope its sooner rather than later. Check out an AA meeting--you might find some people there who are just like you. SoberRecovery is a good start, but it is no substitute for real, flesh and blood people who can share their experience, strength, and hope.

I had a beer when my husband came home in order to have a reason for alcohol on my breath and he asked me why I wasn't following our plan to only drink on the weekends. He said he's doing that for me so I should stick to it also. The crazy thing is that I feel like I need to drink in order for him to feel comfortable drinking, so my complete abstinence wouldn't work for him. Is that codie in reverse?

Well it's a new day and I can't fix yesterday so I might as well try to have a better day today.