tryingtolive

Hi all. I just need somewhere to turn. I am 22 years old and in college but I have been barley making it through classes because of Alcohol/Anxiety problems. I have taken this semester off in hopes to get better. I haven't gotten any better and I don't think that I can make it any farther without help. I don't know where I will end up but I don't think I can graduate.

Because of my drinking I have had sex with people I didn't even know or that normally I wouldn't think are attractive at all. This upsets me very much and I am full of regret, thank god I never got an STD.

I also want to share with you all that I don't drink during the week (most of the time) but friday and saturday nights I basically drink until I am blacked out. Drinking and using drugs (stoped using drugs a while ago) has led me to develop an anxiety disorder. When I drink, I drink with "fake friends" who don't really care about me at all. They don't seem to care about much since all they do is drink. For some reason I drink with them anyways, well not anymore. I need to cut them off. I feel like I don't have any real friends or close friends I can talk to about my problems.

I haven't been sober for more than 13 days in over 7 years. Also, when I do drink and get completely hammered it always takes me several days to feel like the effects of the alcohol have worn off. I can feel the effects of 2 nights of heavy drinking from friday and saturday right now on monday night. After the feeling is gone that is when the anxiety sets in and I really feel like I need to drink in order to go out and socialize. I think I need an inpatient rehab program if I am ever going to get my life together and be happy. Yes, I am in school and I only have a year left to graduate but I am not happy. I haven't been happy for a while. I hate to be alone and I guess I drink to be social but always go overboard because I can't stop. I haven't had a girlfriend in a while and the last girl I was with I blew it because I got to drunk and made a fool of myself at a formal event where she was my date. I get the feeling walking around that people look at me like I am "that guy."
I got in touch with a a place in plam beach, FL that seems pretty good for rehab. I think it might be good for me to get out of the state and far away from anyone that I know. I think I would like to go there and I think even if it is for only 30 days it would do me good since I haven't been sober for a month since probably 7th or 8th grade (WOW!!).

Anyways, I look forward to finding help and courage on this board and am glad I found it. If anyone knows about this place in West Palm Beach, FL let me know as I would be glad to hear about it. Behavioral Health of the Palm Beaches
I also look forward to reading your posts and replies to this. Anyones thoughts/advice is greatly appreciated.

They have a young adults program that I think would be good for me. I don't know, thanks for reading, right now I am very upset, confused, and depressed.

best

Welcome to SR.

If you read the posts marked sticky beside them, you will find a lot of helpful infomation. You can gather support and infomation at your local AA meeting as well. The Alcohol/Anxiety problems could be one in the same. Remove the alcohol and work a good recovery program like the 12 step program that AA uses, you could find that the anxiety goes away. If not, without the alcohol making it worse then if alone without alcohol, a Dr will better able help you find a solution there as well.

Look about, ask questions, and as people show up that may have answers, they will leave a reply. Gather what you feel will work for you and I am sure you will find a solution to your needs.

Done_With_It

Hey there,

I'm kinda brain dead tired right now. But I wanted to at least stop in and say HELLO and give you a big welcome! I'll be back later.

I'm glad your here!

KCBoop

tryingtolive,
First let me say welcome to SR.Then let me say that your story sounds just like mine a couple of years ago,as I am sure alot of others also.
I think the rehab thing sounds like a wonderful idea,and I think you sound like you are more then ready for it.
You sound like you have a plan...and thats a good thing.Just stick with it and you will be surprised how much it can really change your life for the better without alcohol!

Again,Welcome!

Justme57

Hi there and welcome to SR
Congratulations for seeking a solution to your problem , that is a huge step.
The rehab sounds like a great idea, and you seem to be willing to try it . In the meantime, you could give AA a ring, and enlist some more support. i found that AA helped me STAY stopped.

Good luck in your journey of recovery , keep us posted

HUGX
Lee

reduced quality

Hi there,
I'm 22 also and have a pretty serious drinking problem too. Nice to meet you! I was on the edge of flunking out of school too. Luckily I graduated recently but my life is stagnant. I'm not using my degree whatsoever. Right now I'm 'taking the summer off' from finding a real job, but I'm just avoiding my own anxiety, which has arisen from my heavy alcohol use (most days I get drunk at night). It sounds like you too are surrounded by a group of friends where drinking is encouraged. How are we supposed to stop drinking when we're surrounded by drinkers? In any case, I just wanted to say that it's a good thing you found SR. For me, it does give me the power to go at least one more day of the week without drinking, and it's so awesome when that happens. Stick around and keep in touch. I find that when I'm posting more often I feel like I have more support (since we're surrounded by drinkers) and thus may go a day without drinking. Good luck man!
-dja

earlybird

You really sound like you have a great head on your shoulders. Especially where opened mindedness is concerned. You have what very few wanting recovery start with. Willingness. That is rare in the beginning. Good for you. I too, messed up my education early on due to drinking. Ive lost girlfriends, friends, jobs, apartments, family members, my license to drive, my car and all of my self respect. I too had that anxiety feeling. Thats the onset of Delirium Tremens. The shakes, sweats, alcoholic induced dementia, hallucinations, sleeplessness, depression, and feeling that I was slowly and sometimes very quickly, going insane. Thats DT's. You are feeling the beginnings of that. You are wise to want to seek medical help. Thats the only way to ensure that you will make it through detox unscathed. Doing it alone is very risky and for many has proven fatal. You sound like you are totally ready for recovery. I can read it in your post. I dont know about that certain treatment center in Florida, but, I know that my sponsor in AA went to one in Florida 6 years ago and hasnt had a drink since. Not sure which one. I can find out and let you know. That place worked for him and he has had it ALL happen to him. Beaten up, homeless, robbed, mugged and beaten down, he inherrited $25 grand from his mothers death and blew it all in 3 months in Miami. He drank cologne, rubbing alcohol. He drank on antabuse, had a tether on his leg, did 2 years in prison. All due to his drinking. He was deemed by many as 'hopeless'. Even deemed himself that. But when that certain something 'clicked' in his brain, he finally became ready for recovery. I think that something has clicked in your mind too. Good luck to you. God Bless. Ill try and get you that info on the treatment center.

squirrelly77

Hey there and welcome to SR!

I just wanted to welcome you and say that you're definitely NOT alone in how you're feeling. A lot of us can relate to what you wrote...including me. I didn't start out drinking every day but when I did drink, I drank to oblivion...just as you wrote. After I knew that my life was spiraling out of control...I tried every imaginable way on my own to stop drinking...because I thought that if I got that under control, everything else would fall into place. Don't get me wrong, a lot of my mistakes and "bad" behavior resulted from my alcohol abuse, but when I finally walked into the rooms of AA--I realized that my drinking and drugging wasn't the cause of my misery, it was a symptom. Take that away...and what have you go left? Sorta like the saying, if a drunken horse thief sobers up...you still have a horse thief.
Anyways...there is a lot of hope, help, and experience to be found here and there are many ways in which people have gotten sober. But like I said...I use AA and the 12-steps laid out in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. It's a pretty scary thing when someone realizes that they may have a problem with drinking and using drugs, and the fact that you realize it and are reaching out for help here says a lot. You made a huge step! There's a lot of information here and I hope you decide to stick around and we can get to know you better!

Danielle

ChrisMan

Tryingtolive,

Hi there and welcome to SR, and congratulations on realizing that you need help (that's like half the battle right there).

I could relate with some of what you said, especially getting drunk and having sex with people I didn't know. For me, I found that recovery groups, therapy, calling up friends on the phone, and learning how to live a healthier lifestyle all helped me a lot.

Give yourself lots of help and lots of support. Do you have family or friends you can call when you need help? In recovery groups you can find lots of new friends. Hopefully you can find new friends too right here at SR.

Hope to keep hearing from you.

ChrisMan

tryingtolive

Hey, thanks for all the replies everyone.