PG1968

Hello all,
My title might sound a little extreme. sorry. Today is my 27th day of sobriety, I cannot believe I have made it this far. I feel good physically, however, mentally, I am climbing the walls. I came so close to purchasing my DOC last night, then found a empty baggie while going through some boxes this morning.I keep playing the "go get some stuff song" in my head. I have a sponsor and have been going to meetings regulary. I have been sharing as well and got lot's of numbers too. I am just not satisfied and don't see much progress yet, I know that sounds foolish, but it's just how I feel. I am currently unemployed, and am waiting to see If I got this one job or not, meanwhile, I have been sending my resume out to other companies as well. The frustration and the loneliness is killing me, I have stopped contacting all of the old using friends. that leaves me with other NA people and myself. I am also single, so not having a significant other around is also a downer. I know, I should just be happy with myself, but it's just hard, especially when people are telling you how good you look and how come you don't have a girlfriend, sorry, I am rambling. Bottom line is i am just frustrated and a bit angry, not enough has happened yet, I realize that not enough time has elapsed, but jeez, this is desolation, between the no work and no relationships. the upside to all of this is I am feeling great physically, I play guitar and drums and have been able to really focus on making music.I want to get in a band soon too, again.also, my thought process is functioning the way it used to , and I have been lifting weights and mountain biking 5 times a week. I was an everyday drinker and cocaine user, well, when I could get that.so, I think I have come a little way. I just feel like I am just waiting to for something to happen. I hope I have not sounded too ridiculous or rambled too much. Thank you.

FRUSTRATED!!!!!!

lulu70

You don't sound ridiculous, and I certainly understand your frustration. However, the sad truth is that it did not take only 27 days for you to get to the point where you knew you had to stop drinking, and it will take longer than 27 days for things to get significantly better. I know that's not what you want to hear--it wasn't what I wanted to hear, either!! But I am still here, still sober, and things have become so much better I cannot even relate to the person I was when I was still drinking. Hang in there!!!

Hope

27 days is great. I know it can be a challenge at times. Keep doing what you are doing, you are definitely on the right track. Focus on yourself and jobs, relationships, and everything else will fall into place. Focus on getting well and healing the soul. Sometimes it is hard to be patient when we want something to happen right now, but this is when faith is so important. Have faith in the process and have faith knowing that you are doing the right things to get to where you want to be. One day at a time.

I relate to your frustration, but hang in there and keep focusing on the positive. Try to focus on the positive things that have bloomed into your life these days instead of what hasn't happened yet. 27 days ago, the positive things that you are seeing now probably felt far away, yet today they are reality for you.

You are heading to a beautiful future. Keep believing and keep doing the next right thing. You are well on your way to the good stuff that you hope for!

I am proud of you!

Justme57

WOW! Congrats on your 27 days , thats awesome !

You certainly dont sound rediculous at all. I do remember feeling just as you do at about 27 -28 days, and my Sponser and other oldtimers told me, " this too will pass" and I could have kneecapped them LOL But it did. In retrospect , PG, I have found that when i am feeling like you are at the moment, it usually indicates that i am due some growth and if i just keep doing " the next right thing", a subtle change happens, and without me knowing it, I grow a bit.

This might sound a bit " airy fairy" but it is exactly what I have found for myself , over the last 2 1/2 years

hang in there , you are doing great

HUGX
Lee

earlybird

27 days is outstanding. But keep in mind,....it took you alot of years to dismantle your life,......can we really expect a TON in one month? Im at two years,...and things are about the same for me as they are for you except my cravings are totally gone. I dont even think about it anymore. That will come for you too. Soon !! You quit using,.......thats great....one mountain at a time, okay?? The other stuff is what we call the promises. They come to you if you keep doing the next right thing. One month, however, isnt enough time to develope a "good deed" track record yet. Just keep on, keeping on and it will come. I promise you.

PG1968

Thanks for all of the inspiration, all of you are totally cool.....

Sugasnaps

Hang in there PG1968... the first few months are rough but you are showing yourself the best love you probably have in a looooong time by choosing you over alcohol/DOC.

Keep doing what you are doing!

Suga

ChrisMan

PG1968,

Hang in there!

I guess one thing I found with my own recovery was getting used to reality. So much of my addiction was running from reality, and so a great deal of my recovery had little to do with avoiding acting out and a lot to do with just living in the real world and getting used to things not going well.

Thanks to SR and my sponsor and my recovery group, life is still sort of scary but no longer unmanageable. I am beginning to actually enjoy the unpredictability of life. Keep on the road to recovery -- it is really worth it. And it does get better!

ChrisMan