Chip's update
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: some where / no where
Posts: 1,019
Chip's update
Hi everybody!
I havn't been *saying* too much around here lately. It's time to give a brief update...
Today is day 167 without alcohol and day 66 without Marijuanna. I changed my "sobriety date" to the day I stopped smoking pot. I cannot dismiss the growth I experienced during those 101 days when I started really working on my recovery, but I cannot honestly say I was "sober" because I relied on weed to alter my moods. I just picked up my 60 day chip at my "home" AA meeting.
Sobriety can be tough, but it's rewarding. I'm becoming immersed in the program of AA, and it is really my #1 defense against relapse.
I'm finding I'm more productive. My mind feels "clean" and "clear". Things are going well for me in my professional life. I'm enjoying parent hood more.
I feel bad sometimes, but I also feel good as well.
My beer fridge and my "stash" are no longer the most important things in my life. In fact, I've cast these things aside, and they are no longer important. I was a slave to my addictions, and I've been relieved of that bondage....one day at a time. When I awake tommorow, I will give thanks for the day, and pray that I will be relieved of my addictions for another 24 hours.
When I think too much about the future, I get anxious. I have trouble imagining the thought of never drinking or smoking pot again. I have trouble imagining what it will be like to go golfing without having a couple beers. I don't even bother thinking about stuff like that. I'll deal with tommorow when tommorow comes.
When I think too much about the past, I feel guilt and shame. This isn't useful either. I cannot change the past, so there's no sense in dwelling on it. All I have is 1 day. Anyone can fight the battle of one day.....
I've had some issues with anger. I need to work on these issues.
Well, I've said enough. I just want to say
to everyone here, and wish everyone here QUALITY SOBRIETY. I wish for you all the same thing I wish for myself: REAL PEACE, SERENITY, SOBRIETY, FELLOWSHIP, and WELLBEING.
have a great day,
chip
I havn't been *saying* too much around here lately. It's time to give a brief update...
Today is day 167 without alcohol and day 66 without Marijuanna. I changed my "sobriety date" to the day I stopped smoking pot. I cannot dismiss the growth I experienced during those 101 days when I started really working on my recovery, but I cannot honestly say I was "sober" because I relied on weed to alter my moods. I just picked up my 60 day chip at my "home" AA meeting.
Sobriety can be tough, but it's rewarding. I'm becoming immersed in the program of AA, and it is really my #1 defense against relapse.
I'm finding I'm more productive. My mind feels "clean" and "clear". Things are going well for me in my professional life. I'm enjoying parent hood more.
I feel bad sometimes, but I also feel good as well.
My beer fridge and my "stash" are no longer the most important things in my life. In fact, I've cast these things aside, and they are no longer important. I was a slave to my addictions, and I've been relieved of that bondage....one day at a time. When I awake tommorow, I will give thanks for the day, and pray that I will be relieved of my addictions for another 24 hours.
When I think too much about the future, I get anxious. I have trouble imagining the thought of never drinking or smoking pot again. I have trouble imagining what it will be like to go golfing without having a couple beers. I don't even bother thinking about stuff like that. I'll deal with tommorow when tommorow comes.
When I think too much about the past, I feel guilt and shame. This isn't useful either. I cannot change the past, so there's no sense in dwelling on it. All I have is 1 day. Anyone can fight the battle of one day.....
I've had some issues with anger. I need to work on these issues.
Well, I've said enough. I just want to say
to everyone here, and wish everyone here QUALITY SOBRIETY. I wish for you all the same thing I wish for myself: REAL PEACE, SERENITY, SOBRIETY, FELLOWSHIP, and WELLBEING.have a great day,
chip
Great effort Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: London, UK
Posts: 115
Chip
What a lovely post: full of optimism, hope, honesty and gratefulness. My partner is a recovering alcoholic/addict. When I read your post it reminded me of how much her life was totally revolving around a fridge full of beer, or a bottle of vodka, her marijuanna had always to be there, never mind if we ran out of food... as well as all the insanity of doing coke, the madness after doing it and the anxiety before doing it...
Just for today, she's clean and sober and has been for the past 5 1/2 months. You're right: life is beautiful now, she's creative, happy, calm and beauttiful inside and outside. Recovery is not easy but so worth it.
Love Jo
What a lovely post: full of optimism, hope, honesty and gratefulness. My partner is a recovering alcoholic/addict. When I read your post it reminded me of how much her life was totally revolving around a fridge full of beer, or a bottle of vodka, her marijuanna had always to be there, never mind if we ran out of food... as well as all the insanity of doing coke, the madness after doing it and the anxiety before doing it...
Just for today, she's clean and sober and has been for the past 5 1/2 months. You're right: life is beautiful now, she's creative, happy, calm and beauttiful inside and outside. Recovery is not easy but so worth it.
Love Jo
Support our Troops.
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Republic Of Texas
Posts: 452
Congratulations Chip! It is great to stop smoking pot as you have found out. I am fast approaching a year without pot after thirty seven years of continuous use.
I never knew how much opportunity and enjoyment I was missing. I am so glad that I quit pot that words can not express it.
Life continues to get better each and every day.
I never knew how much opportunity and enjoyment I was missing. I am so glad that I quit pot that words can not express it.
Life continues to get better each and every day.
Living and Loving.
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Saratoga, California
Posts: 475
Chip,
You are doing so well and have been a leader for me. I've enjoyed following your progress and your honesty has touched me more than once. It isn't easy.
I can relate to feeling guilt when you think about the past... all I can say is that it is a choice you really can make to forgive yourself. The past is the past but your future is spotless and you are going to make it into what you want. Not what your addictions want... what YOU want. All you have been through and done up to this point brought you right where you are... who's to say that you went through your "stuff" so that you could learn what you are learning right now?
I admire you and you can always find me in your cheering section.
Suga
You are doing so well and have been a leader for me. I've enjoyed following your progress and your honesty has touched me more than once. It isn't easy.
I can relate to feeling guilt when you think about the past... all I can say is that it is a choice you really can make to forgive yourself. The past is the past but your future is spotless and you are going to make it into what you want. Not what your addictions want... what YOU want. All you have been through and done up to this point brought you right where you are... who's to say that you went through your "stuff" so that you could learn what you are learning right now?
I admire you and you can always find me in your cheering section.
Suga
We all need each other.
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: The road of happy destiny.
Posts: 2,294
(((((Chip))))) Thanks for the post. It was a great read and something I really needed tonight. I remember when you first came here with your "plan" for moderated drinking. The difference between that Chip and the Chip we see now are profound. Keep doin' what you're doin' and you'll keep gettin' what you're gettin'!!
Hugs--
Hugs--
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: some where / no where
Posts: 1,019
Thanks friends,
I posted this last night, and I sure appreciate reading your responses. I've had a difficult day, and reading everyone's reply has helped pull me out of a funk. Thank you so much for caring enough to write something...I'm desperate for encouragement today.
I've had a day where it feels like I'm not respected. When I get caught up in concern over circumstances I can't control...I get real bent out of shape. I must remind myself that I'm powerless over people, places and things. I can't dwell on offhanded little insults people throw at me. I can't worry about the future and "what might happen". Today I feel like I've been some people's "punching bag"/"urinal". I've gotta let go of it......
Of course, when I log on here, I get grounded again. Reading words of encouragement really helps me. I'm going to encourage others, and try to give back what's given to me.
thanks for reading,
chip
I posted this last night, and I sure appreciate reading your responses. I've had a difficult day, and reading everyone's reply has helped pull me out of a funk. Thank you so much for caring enough to write something...I'm desperate for encouragement today.
I've had a day where it feels like I'm not respected. When I get caught up in concern over circumstances I can't control...I get real bent out of shape. I must remind myself that I'm powerless over people, places and things. I can't dwell on offhanded little insults people throw at me. I can't worry about the future and "what might happen". Today I feel like I've been some people's "punching bag"/"urinal". I've gotta let go of it......
Of course, when I log on here, I get grounded again. Reading words of encouragement really helps me. I'm going to encourage others, and try to give back what's given to me.
thanks for reading,
chip
'55 Classic
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Waco, TX
Posts: 637
Chip,
Wow! Congratulations on your time! <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
I read what you wrote and I sure know what you are talking about when you describe those difficult days at work. (I work in public education...) Once when I was feeling like my inner peace was dwelling on the bottom of the ocean I expressed what I was feeling to a lovely gentleman who has since passed away. What he said is a basic tool that I still use today… Bill A. said to me, “Young lady, it’s none of your business what other people think about you. What is your business is what you think about other people and what you think about yourself.” It was so simple, but so profound. We really can’t worry about what others think about us. <o:p></o:p>
And I try very hard not to be affected by what some of those earth people say to me now days. When I get to feeling that things are starting to erode my serenity I get back to basics and read about acceptance on page 449 in the Big Book (417 if you have the Fourth Edition) and I read it to the end of the chapter. My favorite part is the second to the last paragraph in that story. It says, “Perhaps the best thing of all for me is to remember that my serenity is inversely proportional to my expectations. The higher my expectations of Max and other people are, the lower is my serenity. I can watch my serenity level rise when I discard my expectations. But then my “rights” try to move in, and they, too, can force my serenity level down. I have to discard my “rights,” as well as my expectations, by asking myself, “How important is it, really? How important is it compared to my serenity, my emotional sobriety?” And when I place more value on my serenity and sobriety than on anything else, I can maintain them at a higher level-at least for the time being.”<o:p></o:p>
It sounds to me as if you are doing something right and I feel that I can say that because I sometimes have to validate a day as being a good one on the basis that everyone is still alive at the end of it. You’ve “done good,” my friend. Have a great weekend.
<o:p></o:p>
Wow! Congratulations on your time! <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
I read what you wrote and I sure know what you are talking about when you describe those difficult days at work. (I work in public education...) Once when I was feeling like my inner peace was dwelling on the bottom of the ocean I expressed what I was feeling to a lovely gentleman who has since passed away. What he said is a basic tool that I still use today… Bill A. said to me, “Young lady, it’s none of your business what other people think about you. What is your business is what you think about other people and what you think about yourself.” It was so simple, but so profound. We really can’t worry about what others think about us. <o:p></o:p>
And I try very hard not to be affected by what some of those earth people say to me now days. When I get to feeling that things are starting to erode my serenity I get back to basics and read about acceptance on page 449 in the Big Book (417 if you have the Fourth Edition) and I read it to the end of the chapter. My favorite part is the second to the last paragraph in that story. It says, “Perhaps the best thing of all for me is to remember that my serenity is inversely proportional to my expectations. The higher my expectations of Max and other people are, the lower is my serenity. I can watch my serenity level rise when I discard my expectations. But then my “rights” try to move in, and they, too, can force my serenity level down. I have to discard my “rights,” as well as my expectations, by asking myself, “How important is it, really? How important is it compared to my serenity, my emotional sobriety?” And when I place more value on my serenity and sobriety than on anything else, I can maintain them at a higher level-at least for the time being.”<o:p></o:p>
It sounds to me as if you are doing something right and I feel that I can say that because I sometimes have to validate a day as being a good one on the basis that everyone is still alive at the end of it. You’ve “done good,” my friend. Have a great weekend.
<o:p></o:p>
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