Might find this a bit rediculous
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: St. Petersburg,Fl
Posts: 4
Might find this a bit rediculous
Hello to all. I really dont know where to begin. I am thinking that my problems may seem kinda petty. That fact in itself has almost always caused me to refrain from reaching out to anyone for help in this kinda thing. My situation is this and if it doesnt seem serious enough for anyone to respond then dont. I can promise no one is being played and everything is truthful.
I have had back issues since I was 22 and I am now 35. I finally resorted to pain medication because I am planning on moving soon and my house needs lots of work to get it ready to sell. I decided on Ultram because the doc said it was non-narcotic. I had issues with other stuff such as Lortabs and Vicodin which I had found that I "liked" a bit too much and maybe the Ultram woudlnt be the same. I never really had done any pain meds for any length of time but when I got my hands on some I really liked it because it made me happy and I got a whole lot more sociable. Deep down in my mind tho I knew once I had a scrip I was gonna experiment with it and take as many of those as I could to see what kind of a buzz I would get. I did find that it did rival the "real" stuff if you will if I took enough of it. I started out with 45 pill scrips but was done with those way too soon. I then found an internet company that would sell 90 counts pretty cheap. In a 3 month period I went thru 3 bottles of 90 and 3 bottles of 45 from my legit doc. I just recently was running out of my last legit scrip after about 7 days and tried to buy more off the net but they refused to sell saying it was too soon after the last sale and ripped me off for 90 bucks.
I know ya'll are probably saying that I am weak or that this is rediculous that I could have a problem after only 3 months. I think I had the problem all along and this was the first time I truly indulged in it and found out that all my fears of how I would handle them became a reality.
My first real exposure to Vicodin was with my back injury when I was 22. I found that the world was a much better place when I took them and that they made all the negativity go away. I had gone thru a lot of self confidence and image problems as a kid and was still grappling with all of that when along came this kewl pill that made it all go away. I injured my hand about 8 years ago and had another run with pills but this time it was percs. I would take about 4 at a time until I was passed out drooling on myself. At those two points, when they were gone they were gone and I never ventured out for more on my own. Probably the smartest thing I ever did.....lol.
Recently I got hooked up with an old girlfriend of mine from years ago. A really good girl with a heart of gold. She had an abusive husband and had resorted to taking Lortabs recreationally to make the mental angwish go away. I hadnt taken any pain pills for a long time but began taking them with her for fun. I was able to take them when I was with her and stop when we werent together. By the way, she lives out of town and right now we are apart. I am selling my house to move up where she is. I would go a couple of months and not have the first thought about them. Well, I decided to elicit a friend of mine that had access to Lortabs and had him get me about 12 or so of them. That was the point that I got scared. Not only for me, but for her as well. I would take them until they were gone whereas she could have them for a long time and just take them when she felt ******. I went thru a period where I would imagine I could hear her over the phone rattling around pill bottles and such and it would just make me furious. The fact that she could take them and moderate them and I had no self control with them just infuriated me. That is when I convinced her to stop. I never had a problem with her taking them until I had a problem with them. Then it became a national emergency for me to make her stop. I guess in my mind, if I cant have them, then she cant either......
Ok, this has gotten WAY too long winded and I apologize. I guess I should get to the problem at hand. Bottom line is the Ultram ran out. I was getting basically the same effect from those as the others. Now I am going thru withdrawls and kinda want to know what helps with them and what doesnt. I do a very P/R type job and I cant be a lunatic throughout the day. Last night was pretty bad. I couldnt sleep for anything. I took 3 melatonins and a skelaxin and managed to sleep for 3 hours. I have no energy. I do get hungry and can eat but once I do I feel really sick. Given the amount I was taking and the short period, anyone know what I can expect? Its been about 48hrs since I've had any. Is the worst over or is it just beginning. I have made a mistake and I do not want this to happen again. Would any of you find it unusual that I am not craving the drug to where I want to drive to cracktown and get some to make this go away or have I not waited long enough for the withdrawl to set in yet? I am a total newbie to the opiate/quasi-opiate withdrawal thing...Any insight would be helpful.....
Thank you so much for your time and again, I apologize for being so long winded. I just didnt want anyone in here thinking I was playing anybody with this post so I figured a little background might help.
By the way, I have also been a beer drinker for a long time but since I started these pain killers for an actual solid duration of time non stop, my drinking has all about stopped. I no longer even want to drink really. Is it possible that this little run has finally been a bottom for me and I am waking up. I have had more trouble with the beer but first things first. Thats a whole other animal and a whole nother post............l8r
Oh yeah, sorry about the rediculous username. I wanted to be really anonomous and that is all I could think of.......lol..........l8r
I have had back issues since I was 22 and I am now 35. I finally resorted to pain medication because I am planning on moving soon and my house needs lots of work to get it ready to sell. I decided on Ultram because the doc said it was non-narcotic. I had issues with other stuff such as Lortabs and Vicodin which I had found that I "liked" a bit too much and maybe the Ultram woudlnt be the same. I never really had done any pain meds for any length of time but when I got my hands on some I really liked it because it made me happy and I got a whole lot more sociable. Deep down in my mind tho I knew once I had a scrip I was gonna experiment with it and take as many of those as I could to see what kind of a buzz I would get. I did find that it did rival the "real" stuff if you will if I took enough of it. I started out with 45 pill scrips but was done with those way too soon. I then found an internet company that would sell 90 counts pretty cheap. In a 3 month period I went thru 3 bottles of 90 and 3 bottles of 45 from my legit doc. I just recently was running out of my last legit scrip after about 7 days and tried to buy more off the net but they refused to sell saying it was too soon after the last sale and ripped me off for 90 bucks.
I know ya'll are probably saying that I am weak or that this is rediculous that I could have a problem after only 3 months. I think I had the problem all along and this was the first time I truly indulged in it and found out that all my fears of how I would handle them became a reality.
My first real exposure to Vicodin was with my back injury when I was 22. I found that the world was a much better place when I took them and that they made all the negativity go away. I had gone thru a lot of self confidence and image problems as a kid and was still grappling with all of that when along came this kewl pill that made it all go away. I injured my hand about 8 years ago and had another run with pills but this time it was percs. I would take about 4 at a time until I was passed out drooling on myself. At those two points, when they were gone they were gone and I never ventured out for more on my own. Probably the smartest thing I ever did.....lol.
Recently I got hooked up with an old girlfriend of mine from years ago. A really good girl with a heart of gold. She had an abusive husband and had resorted to taking Lortabs recreationally to make the mental angwish go away. I hadnt taken any pain pills for a long time but began taking them with her for fun. I was able to take them when I was with her and stop when we werent together. By the way, she lives out of town and right now we are apart. I am selling my house to move up where she is. I would go a couple of months and not have the first thought about them. Well, I decided to elicit a friend of mine that had access to Lortabs and had him get me about 12 or so of them. That was the point that I got scared. Not only for me, but for her as well. I would take them until they were gone whereas she could have them for a long time and just take them when she felt ******. I went thru a period where I would imagine I could hear her over the phone rattling around pill bottles and such and it would just make me furious. The fact that she could take them and moderate them and I had no self control with them just infuriated me. That is when I convinced her to stop. I never had a problem with her taking them until I had a problem with them. Then it became a national emergency for me to make her stop. I guess in my mind, if I cant have them, then she cant either......
Ok, this has gotten WAY too long winded and I apologize. I guess I should get to the problem at hand. Bottom line is the Ultram ran out. I was getting basically the same effect from those as the others. Now I am going thru withdrawls and kinda want to know what helps with them and what doesnt. I do a very P/R type job and I cant be a lunatic throughout the day. Last night was pretty bad. I couldnt sleep for anything. I took 3 melatonins and a skelaxin and managed to sleep for 3 hours. I have no energy. I do get hungry and can eat but once I do I feel really sick. Given the amount I was taking and the short period, anyone know what I can expect? Its been about 48hrs since I've had any. Is the worst over or is it just beginning. I have made a mistake and I do not want this to happen again. Would any of you find it unusual that I am not craving the drug to where I want to drive to cracktown and get some to make this go away or have I not waited long enough for the withdrawl to set in yet? I am a total newbie to the opiate/quasi-opiate withdrawal thing...Any insight would be helpful.....
Thank you so much for your time and again, I apologize for being so long winded. I just didnt want anyone in here thinking I was playing anybody with this post so I figured a little background might help.
By the way, I have also been a beer drinker for a long time but since I started these pain killers for an actual solid duration of time non stop, my drinking has all about stopped. I no longer even want to drink really. Is it possible that this little run has finally been a bottom for me and I am waking up. I have had more trouble with the beer but first things first. Thats a whole other animal and a whole nother post............l8r
Oh yeah, sorry about the rediculous username. I wanted to be really anonomous and that is all I could think of.......lol..........l8r
Last edited by Bill.E.Bob; 03-05-2006 at 04:46 PM. Reason: username comment
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,491
Welcome Bill E. Bob,
I'm glad you found us.
I'm not able to give you much info on your problem with Ultram withdrawl, but I'm sure that someone will be along soon who will be able to help you out.
I'm glad you found us.
I'm not able to give you much info on your problem with Ultram withdrawl, but I'm sure that someone will be along soon who will be able to help you out.
We all need each other.
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: The road of happy destiny.
Posts: 2,294
Hello Bill--Welcome to SR. I didn't see anything even remotely ridiculous about your post. I'm glad you came to us for help. I don't know much about Ultram either, but as Anna said, someone will be along soon who does. However, I do know alot about beer drinking! Been there, done that. Hope you will stick around and keep posting!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: St. Petersburg,Fl
Posts: 4
I do feel a whole lot better that I got a couple of replies so far....Thanks for caring. I know that the Ultram is somewhat of a different deal. I did do a search at this site after I posted and found some threads. I have always had a tendency to do things backwards sometimes.....haha. Havent really read into them much just yet...Kinda needed to take a step back for a few after spewing my story...lol. I find that info overload can be a bit much and lately can make things a bit nerve wracking......thanks again......l8r
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
Here's some sites to check out:
http://www.addictionwithdrawal.com/ultram.htm
http://www.medhelp.org/perl6/Addicti...es/31488a.html
Hope those help
Love and (((((to all))))),
http://www.addictionwithdrawal.com/ultram.htm
http://www.medhelp.org/perl6/Addicti...es/31488a.html
Hope those help
Love and (((((to all))))),
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: St. Petersburg,Fl
Posts: 4
Thanks Laurie for the links and others again for the quick responses. I think I am gonna go try and get some sleep and try all of this again tomorrow. At least I will have work to occupy me during the day. I think if I was younger and in the state of mind I used to be in, the boredom monster would be making my life miserable when I have down time. I think I am commited this time to giving most of my vices up this time around for good. I say most because I think at this point you would have to pry my coffee and cigs out of my cold, dead hands.....hahaha.
I say the dead thing in jest of course. Hasnt got that bad for sure and I have a wonderful fiance and future step daughter that love me dearly among other great things in this world to live for..............I have been down this decision making road a few times over the years and I think why it failed before is because I never felt as tho I had anything to do it for......I never valued myself which I think I have been learning to do here over the past couple of years, discovering a highschool sweetheart that I was deeply in love with once years ago and to have her come back into my life and everything working out so we can finally be together like we always wanted to be. Those things have made my life so much different now and I know that I have one chance to do this right and if I let all my old demons and myself screw it up, I definatley wont be thinking too highly of myself. All will have been for nothing and I am to the point where I finally have something I really want and these problems are not going to take this from me..........out of my cold,dead hands perhaps?
Wish me luck....Its gonna be bumpy. I will stay in touch. Hopefully will get to know some of ya'll here soon.......God be with all of you too.....He's in everyone's corner in here....I have to remind myself of that a lot nowadays...........l8r
I say the dead thing in jest of course. Hasnt got that bad for sure and I have a wonderful fiance and future step daughter that love me dearly among other great things in this world to live for..............I have been down this decision making road a few times over the years and I think why it failed before is because I never felt as tho I had anything to do it for......I never valued myself which I think I have been learning to do here over the past couple of years, discovering a highschool sweetheart that I was deeply in love with once years ago and to have her come back into my life and everything working out so we can finally be together like we always wanted to be. Those things have made my life so much different now and I know that I have one chance to do this right and if I let all my old demons and myself screw it up, I definatley wont be thinking too highly of myself. All will have been for nothing and I am to the point where I finally have something I really want and these problems are not going to take this from me..........out of my cold,dead hands perhaps?
Wish me luck....Its gonna be bumpy. I will stay in touch. Hopefully will get to know some of ya'll here soon.......God be with all of you too.....He's in everyone's corner in here....I have to remind myself of that a lot nowadays...........l8r
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: On a Boat in the Gulf
Posts: 308
Ultram/Tramadol isnt addictive MY ASS. Hell, tic-tacs are addictive to an addict.
Drs need to realize this, damn it pisses me off.
To anyone wondering if Ultram is addictive
YES
YES
YES
and lastly...
HELL YES.
*waves to you from Carrollwood (Tampa)*
Drs need to realize this, damn it pisses me off.
To anyone wondering if Ultram is addictive
YES
YES
YES
and lastly...
HELL YES.
*waves to you from Carrollwood (Tampa)*
Leigh
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: N.C.
Posts: 49
Welcome to SR Bill E. Bob, you've done the right thing reaching out for help and advice. Your post is not rediculous at all so please don't think that it is. I was on pills for a long time then heroin became my DOC. I'm now coming off of methadone which I've been on for seven years. I've never taken Ultram but I've been in treatment with alot of people that have a problem with it. Any drug that is mood altering and takes you "out of yourself" can be addictive no matter what it is. I've been addicted to ambien, going through 30 pills in 2 days and they say it's non addictive. I'm an addict and I can get addicted to anything. I said all of this to let you know that your problem is not trivial in the least, an addiction is a addiction no matter what it is. Good for you for seeking help!! With alot of hard work and determination you can beat this. Have you considered N.A.? It really does help! Hang in there and please keep posting. There's alot of great people here who are very serious about there recovery and helping others deal with there's. I've gotten alot of encouragement from some great people here, and if you continue to reach out, people will help you. And you thought you were long winded. LOL. Sorry this is so long I just wanted to give you a warm welcome and assure you that you are not alone. You will be in my prayers.
Leigh
Leigh
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: St. Petersburg,Fl
Posts: 4
I feel bad that I am having to say this because I know that I sounded all gung ho yesterday. Please dont get me wrong and think that I am not. The whole reason why I had to start taking the Ultram in the first place was because of unbearable back pain that pretty much had me at a 3 day work week tops and the rest of the time laid up on an ice pack. I have decided that I am going to go back on a scrip for the time being so I can maintain some kind of quality of life. I am at a cross roads here with things. The bottom line is that right now, recovery is not going to pay my bills and mortgage. I have to stay working a full week and I have to get this house done and ready to sell....My back blew up on me so freakin bad today that I barely was able to make it till 2 pm and went home. On top of that I feel like I have the flu. I cant sleep at night. Last night I kept waking up cuz I would get hot flashes and burning in my feet and my leg would just be kickin for no reason......WTF??? This is rediculous. I talked this over with my fiance'. She is in the same boat that I am right now. If my back was all strait and had stopped hurting, I could deal with the withdrawals and stuff. I am sorry as I have to admit I cant handle everything. She is in a situation where she has been sick and had a fever since Sept of last year and the docs cant figure what is wrong with her. She is in so much pain sometimes that it takes her breath away and she cant even stand up. She cant even begin to think of stopping her lortabs until they can figure out what is wrong because they give her the ability to take care of her daughter and go to work. I am in the same boat. I want to quit this stuff but right now I cant.....Ok, lets just say I dont want to....Hows that?
I hope that maybe you all can understand. I did reach out for help here and I still am. I dont have a choice but to manage my intake of these things for the time being. I dont have a choice but to manage them. If I cant, then I guess I am screwed. I have to give it a try. I dont want to get high off of them, I just want to be able to work and not have my life turned upside down. I know a lot of you arent going to agree with this philosophy and I can totally understand. I have to stick to the prescribed amount for here on out until this deal with my back can be dealt with. Otherwise I am going to be in a worse place. Its like money in my opinion. When you have all the money, you have no time to enjoy it. If you have all the time, you have no money. I cant have it both ways right now. I would love nothing more for my back to be not hurting anymore and to be in withdrawal. I would gladly trade those symptoms for what my back gives me. It would be a no brainer. I totally admit I have a real problem with pain meds. I have for a very long time. All I have to do is not abuse them. How hard could that be. I really dont know. Everytime I have gotten a hold of them, that is my first thought of what to do.
If I take a chance at it, then the worst that can happen is that I come full circle and come right back in here with another thread like the first one I posted yesterday. I hate it and despise my decision but I really dont feel like I have a choice at this point. I have a deep respect for all of you folks in here. Please respect me for my honesty.......I will stay in touch and let you all know how things are.......Thanks for caring........l8r
I hope that maybe you all can understand. I did reach out for help here and I still am. I dont have a choice but to manage my intake of these things for the time being. I dont have a choice but to manage them. If I cant, then I guess I am screwed. I have to give it a try. I dont want to get high off of them, I just want to be able to work and not have my life turned upside down. I know a lot of you arent going to agree with this philosophy and I can totally understand. I have to stick to the prescribed amount for here on out until this deal with my back can be dealt with. Otherwise I am going to be in a worse place. Its like money in my opinion. When you have all the money, you have no time to enjoy it. If you have all the time, you have no money. I cant have it both ways right now. I would love nothing more for my back to be not hurting anymore and to be in withdrawal. I would gladly trade those symptoms for what my back gives me. It would be a no brainer. I totally admit I have a real problem with pain meds. I have for a very long time. All I have to do is not abuse them. How hard could that be. I really dont know. Everytime I have gotten a hold of them, that is my first thought of what to do.
If I take a chance at it, then the worst that can happen is that I come full circle and come right back in here with another thread like the first one I posted yesterday. I hate it and despise my decision but I really dont feel like I have a choice at this point. I have a deep respect for all of you folks in here. Please respect me for my honesty.......I will stay in touch and let you all know how things are.......Thanks for caring........l8r
We all need each other.
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: The road of happy destiny.
Posts: 2,294
Taking medication as prescribed because you have a condition which requires it is nothing to be ashamed of. I feel for you in your pain. I know all about pain, so I know how freaky it can make you. Hope you hang in there!!!
Reach Out and Touch Faith
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: On a Sailboat
Posts: 3,871
I am in the same boat, I have to take some medication for my pain, the only thing that works is my DOC. I have it carefully monitored though. without it, I become sucidal in pain. I am lucky to have a support system that knows I have a problem and watches me. This includes my family, my prescribing doctor, my pharmacist and my support here at SR as well.
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