Wanting to come sober
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: NY
Posts: 3
Wanting to come sober
Good day everyone.
I have been drinking for years and I have stopped a few times only to return to drinking once again. I gave up drinking for almost a year back in December 2004 due to stomach surgery. I'm back to drinking and it's scaring me as I'm drinking to the point of not remembering what people tell me or my mind just draws a blank. I'm also noticing that I'm drinking more. I drink vodka and I go through half a gallon every three days and before that gallon would last a week.
This might sound strange but I also use drinking for sex. I'm really sexual when I drink and my husband loves this of me but he is not even aware that I drink as I hide it.
I'm scared to tell anyone that I'm drinking so I came out here in search of others that are understanding of where I'm coming from and maybe with your support and me trying to be strong once again and give up the drinking I can do it
I tell myself if I stopped before why can't I stop again. I once gave it up for four years because I had a friend at my side who gave me support and when I felt the need to drink I ran to that friend but he is no longer in my life. I guess I'm looking for friends to run to when I feel that need to have a drink.
Am I'm only fooling myself or do I need more help then just support from others??
Thanks for letting me vent and listening.
I have been drinking for years and I have stopped a few times only to return to drinking once again. I gave up drinking for almost a year back in December 2004 due to stomach surgery. I'm back to drinking and it's scaring me as I'm drinking to the point of not remembering what people tell me or my mind just draws a blank. I'm also noticing that I'm drinking more. I drink vodka and I go through half a gallon every three days and before that gallon would last a week.
This might sound strange but I also use drinking for sex. I'm really sexual when I drink and my husband loves this of me but he is not even aware that I drink as I hide it.
I'm scared to tell anyone that I'm drinking so I came out here in search of others that are understanding of where I'm coming from and maybe with your support and me trying to be strong once again and give up the drinking I can do it
I tell myself if I stopped before why can't I stop again. I once gave it up for four years because I had a friend at my side who gave me support and when I felt the need to drink I ran to that friend but he is no longer in my life. I guess I'm looking for friends to run to when I feel that need to have a drink.
Am I'm only fooling myself or do I need more help then just support from others??
Thanks for letting me vent and listening.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Hi Toy,
Welcome!
You are not alone and you are among friends here. It's really hard to stop drinking, but you have done it before and you can do it now. There's lots of support and encouragement here. Just take small steps, but remember that stopping drinking is only the beginning of the journey. That's when the real work starts.
Welcome!
You are not alone and you are among friends here. It's really hard to stop drinking, but you have done it before and you can do it now. There's lots of support and encouragement here. Just take small steps, but remember that stopping drinking is only the beginning of the journey. That's when the real work starts.
We all need each other.
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: The road of happy destiny.
Posts: 2,294
Hello Toy--Welcome to SR! Glad you found us. This is a great place for support and encouragment. The people here (myself included) definitely understand where you are coming from. As far as using the alcohol for sex sounding strange, if it is, then I am just as strange as you are. In my whole life I have never had sex without being under the influence of something. Alcohol definitely loosens our inhibitions and makes it easier for us to do things we would find much more difficult when sober.
You also asked about the level of support you may need. No one can really know that until you try. There are people who have stopped drinking on their own with minimal outside support. Then there are others, like me, who had to have more. I went to an inpatient treatment facility and have continued my recovery in AA. I have now been sober for just over two years. Have you ever been to AA? For me, it has been an immense support and has quite literally changed my life.
Hope you will hang out here and keep posting! I look forward to getting to know you!
You also asked about the level of support you may need. No one can really know that until you try. There are people who have stopped drinking on their own with minimal outside support. Then there are others, like me, who had to have more. I went to an inpatient treatment facility and have continued my recovery in AA. I have now been sober for just over two years. Have you ever been to AA? For me, it has been an immense support and has quite literally changed my life.
Hope you will hang out here and keep posting! I look forward to getting to know you!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: At the Healing Alter of the Goddess
Posts: 23
Welcome Toy!! This is a good place to find people who can relate. We've all been there to some degree. Nothing sounds odd. 
Sounds like you were able to quit before... you can definitely do it again. There are all sorts of recovery programs you can check out here. You said that you had a good support person last time you quit... perhaps you could check out some of the recovery options that include person to person support.
Best of luck in your journey of discovery and recovery. Come back and let us know how you're doing!!
Sounds like you were able to quit before... you can definitely do it again. There are all sorts of recovery programs you can check out here. You said that you had a good support person last time you quit... perhaps you could check out some of the recovery options that include person to person support.
Best of luck in your journey of discovery and recovery. Come back and let us know how you're doing!!
Jack
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Pocono Mts. of PA
Posts: 115
Hi Toy and congratulations on recognizing you've got a problem. 1/2 gal. of vodka in 3 days is a lot of booze. Especially for a woman. If you quit before for surgery you ought to be able to do it again. With the increase in how much you're drinking you very well might need help. If it were me the first place I'd turn for help is my husband.
Without trust between you and no secrets it will be very hard to give up 1/2 gal. of vodka every 3 days without him knowing something is going on. There's a lot of help out there, all you have to do is ask for it. I'll pray for you.
God bless
Without trust between you and no secrets it will be very hard to give up 1/2 gal. of vodka every 3 days without him knowing something is going on. There's a lot of help out there, all you have to do is ask for it. I'll pray for you.
God bless
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,579
Hi,Toy......so glad you are here. I don't have too much to say right now (gotta run for a bit) but it looks like you have already been given some great suggestions. I just wanted to say hello and say keep posting and coming back. You've made the first step now!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Recovery
Posts: 3,229
Welcome Toy! You have taken a huge step in reaching out to us. Admitting that there is a problem is a very important thing and the starting point of a search for a better life. I am glad that you are here! There is so much great support and encouragement here and you are not tapped into a wonderful place that can be accessed 24/7.
Keep reaching out!!
Keep reaching out!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: NY
Posts: 3
I'm thanking everyone for your help. If anyone wants to talk with me I'm at [email protected]
I feel so alone and need others that can relate and understand.
I had gastric by pass surgery and drinking is the worse for that.
Thanks Toy
I feel so alone and need others that can relate and understand.
I had gastric by pass surgery and drinking is the worse for that.
Thanks Toy
Leigh
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: N.C.
Posts: 49
Toy, wecome to SR. Congrats on seeking help and advice. You've took the first step and you should be proud of youself. I am new to recovery also and this site has really helped me. There are alot of wonderful people here who will do all they can to help you. Keep posting and you will get lots of encouragement and some great advice. Hang in there, it will be O.K.
Leigh
Leigh
My Boss is a Jewish Carpenter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 338
[toy]. Great big hug.
Congratulations on your decision to quit drinking. That's a huge step. It seems to me you need Alcoholics Anonymous. For location you put NY. International Headquarters is in New York City. There's meetings all over the state.
AA is anonymous. We only use first names. We don't ask for or give identifying details. There's no registration form. Tradition 4 is "The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking." Period. That's all there is to it.
Please go to AA. For our good as well as yours. The only way we can keep it is by giving it away. We'll keep a chair available. Come fill it as soon as you can. How about today?
I've been sober over 17 years.Remember, I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together.
Congratulations on your decision to quit drinking. That's a huge step. It seems to me you need Alcoholics Anonymous. For location you put NY. International Headquarters is in New York City. There's meetings all over the state.
AA is anonymous. We only use first names. We don't ask for or give identifying details. There's no registration form. Tradition 4 is "The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking." Period. That's all there is to it.
Please go to AA. For our good as well as yours. The only way we can keep it is by giving it away. We'll keep a chair available. Come fill it as soon as you can. How about today?
I've been sober over 17 years.Remember, I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Chapel Hill, NC
Posts: 2,274
Only one post so far has mentioned AA. If you think you have a problem with alcohol, check out an AA meeting. Online recovery is good place to start but it is no substitute for the support and understanding you will get from real, flesh and blood people in AA meetings. About the sex thing, many people use that as an excuse to drink (i.e. to loosen up, feel in the mood etc.) But for me, drinking diminished my enjoyment of sex and my ability to perform. Sex is much better sober.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: NY
Posts: 3
I want to thank you and everyone for your support and advice.
Has anyone ever felt the need to kill themselves when drinking?? Like maybe life is not worth going on for if the bottle must come firstm, sigh.
Has anyone ever felt the need to kill themselves when drinking?? Like maybe life is not worth going on for if the bottle must come firstm, sigh.
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