Ready to leave
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Sumter, SC
Posts: 1
Ready to leave
Hi to everyone.
I am a 43 year old female who has just left an alcoholic husband. He drinks every night and goes into rages/verbal abuse. Upon leaving him, he is now saying he thinks he has a problem (though I had to prompt him to admit it). We have a 20 year old daughter who has had a DUI and gone through drug and alcohol counseling but is getting her life back on track. There was an epidosde between my husband and daughter when I wasn't at home in which she claims that in his drunken state he said inappropriate things to her of a sexual nature. His story is different but he had given her alcohol, was drinking himself and then got her to lie to me, refill a bottle of vodka to cover up the drinking incident. Something snapped in me a few months ago and after 21 years of marriage, I finally realized nothing is going to change unless something drastic happens. I was afraid to leave before but can financially support myself now. My daughter needs stability and the home she never had before (one of normalcy). I think he should have been the one to leave though. We are financially very stable. Does anyone know what to expect from him next or any advice for me. I'm glad I found this website and know I'm not alone.
Limitsgone
I am a 43 year old female who has just left an alcoholic husband. He drinks every night and goes into rages/verbal abuse. Upon leaving him, he is now saying he thinks he has a problem (though I had to prompt him to admit it). We have a 20 year old daughter who has had a DUI and gone through drug and alcohol counseling but is getting her life back on track. There was an epidosde between my husband and daughter when I wasn't at home in which she claims that in his drunken state he said inappropriate things to her of a sexual nature. His story is different but he had given her alcohol, was drinking himself and then got her to lie to me, refill a bottle of vodka to cover up the drinking incident. Something snapped in me a few months ago and after 21 years of marriage, I finally realized nothing is going to change unless something drastic happens. I was afraid to leave before but can financially support myself now. My daughter needs stability and the home she never had before (one of normalcy). I think he should have been the one to leave though. We are financially very stable. Does anyone know what to expect from him next or any advice for me. I'm glad I found this website and know I'm not alone.
Limitsgone
((((((((Limitsgone)))))))))))
I am so sorry for you pain. But, you have to do what is best for YOU and your daughter. Keep coming back here and posting and sharing. It is a great place full of wonderful people!
My Thoughts and Prayers are With You,
xoxoxoxoxo
Ang
I am so sorry for you pain. But, you have to do what is best for YOU and your daughter. Keep coming back here and posting and sharing. It is a great place full of wonderful people!
My Thoughts and Prayers are With You,
xoxoxoxoxo
Ang
You might look at the alanon forum on SR. They can give more specific advice to you. From an alcoholic/addict perspective, I can tell you that he probably wont get better until he hits bottom. That's just the way it is for us. Different people have different levels of pain they can withstand. He can't get better FOR you or your daughter, he was to want it for HIMSELF.
With that in mind, you leaving him might just be the 'last straw' he needs to see what he's been doing wrong and change his ways. As long as he is forgiven and welcomed back, there is no reason to change.
Good luck to you in your struggles. We'll always be here for ya.
With that in mind, you leaving him might just be the 'last straw' he needs to see what he's been doing wrong and change his ways. As long as he is forgiven and welcomed back, there is no reason to change.
Good luck to you in your struggles. We'll always be here for ya.
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