Big step for little chick!
Soberus Maxus
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Seattle WA
Posts: 298
Braveheart you are home. You dont even have to take your shoes off when you come in. (I dont want to smell your feet). Oooaa Im feeling a little bad today.
Jane thats to funny I was always scared myself in public. Kindoff am anyways but really when I was drinking.
Did you ever do stuff then when you remembered what you had done you were so embarrased you thought everyone new at the same time. I still shake my head sometimes.
I actually liked drinking alone. Scary huh?
From one Bonehead. Oh nevermind! I dont need booze to embarrass myself do I!
Max
Jane thats to funny I was always scared myself in public. Kindoff am anyways but really when I was drinking.
Did you ever do stuff then when you remembered what you had done you were so embarrased you thought everyone new at the same time. I still shake my head sometimes.
I actually liked drinking alone. Scary huh?
From one Bonehead. Oh nevermind! I dont need booze to embarrass myself do I!
Max
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: The world
Posts: 31
Day Two!
Hi All (my new family)
I'm doing well. I did go to the doctor but couldn't see my regular one but needed a certificate for work. I went to one I didn't know and couldn't bring myself to open up. I too however have an ear infection which does explain feeling worse. My day 1 went well. Anxiety and sweaty mainly. I actually fell asleep and slept right through to my alarm which is amazing but then didn't want to get up at all. Mmmmmm Sleeeeep! I haven't slept through for so long usually waking up dehydrated with palpitations when drinking.
I am taking antibiotics for the ears and because I am unwell as well I think my withdrawal symptoms are ok today because I'm not sure which is which and this decreases my anxiety about it all. Hope that makes sense?!? Still a bit anxious and tense with a bit of nausea. The ear things makes be a bit unbalanced but could also be the drink thing too. I actually have thought about going to the shops but the thought of sleeping again really appeals to me. I don't sleep after drinking, usually passed out on the lounge until 2.00am and then drag myself to bed only to be awake in a couple of hours.
I came straight home and logged on. Usually would have gone to the shops first. Poured a diet coke and here I am. Welcome Jane, it is cool here. Makes the world a smaller place knowing someone across and ocean somewhere can listen and understand. Thanks mythreesons for thinking of me.
Hi Lee.....Aussie Aussie Aussie! Oi Oi Oi! Its inspirational to hear of your 2 1/2 years sobriety and even more so that you began at 57. I only say that because I know as I get older my mind set became more of "whats the point" attitude so it just shows that you can do anything no matter what age we are. You rock!
Max, you are funny. Whats wrong with my feet LOL? Thanks for the warm welcome. Because I drank alone at home and if someone phoned me I would chat and chat for ages and then get off the phone and think s**t what did I say, could they tell I'd been drinking, what if they ask me a question tomorrow about our conversation and I can't remember it. I drank alone so no one would know because I was so embarrassed though, like you, I embarrass myself without it too.
Thanks all for thinking of me. I'm feeling positive and so much better even with the symptoms.
Love Braveheart
I'm doing well. I did go to the doctor but couldn't see my regular one but needed a certificate for work. I went to one I didn't know and couldn't bring myself to open up. I too however have an ear infection which does explain feeling worse. My day 1 went well. Anxiety and sweaty mainly. I actually fell asleep and slept right through to my alarm which is amazing but then didn't want to get up at all. Mmmmmm Sleeeeep! I haven't slept through for so long usually waking up dehydrated with palpitations when drinking.
I am taking antibiotics for the ears and because I am unwell as well I think my withdrawal symptoms are ok today because I'm not sure which is which and this decreases my anxiety about it all. Hope that makes sense?!? Still a bit anxious and tense with a bit of nausea. The ear things makes be a bit unbalanced but could also be the drink thing too. I actually have thought about going to the shops but the thought of sleeping again really appeals to me. I don't sleep after drinking, usually passed out on the lounge until 2.00am and then drag myself to bed only to be awake in a couple of hours.
I came straight home and logged on. Usually would have gone to the shops first. Poured a diet coke and here I am. Welcome Jane, it is cool here. Makes the world a smaller place knowing someone across and ocean somewhere can listen and understand. Thanks mythreesons for thinking of me.
Hi Lee.....Aussie Aussie Aussie! Oi Oi Oi! Its inspirational to hear of your 2 1/2 years sobriety and even more so that you began at 57. I only say that because I know as I get older my mind set became more of "whats the point" attitude so it just shows that you can do anything no matter what age we are. You rock!
Max, you are funny. Whats wrong with my feet LOL? Thanks for the warm welcome. Because I drank alone at home and if someone phoned me I would chat and chat for ages and then get off the phone and think s**t what did I say, could they tell I'd been drinking, what if they ask me a question tomorrow about our conversation and I can't remember it. I drank alone so no one would know because I was so embarrassed though, like you, I embarrass myself without it too.
Thanks all for thinking of me. I'm feeling positive and so much better even with the symptoms.
Love Braveheart
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Melbourne victoria
Posts: 1,975
Hi again Braveheart !
Oh! I was Queen of the drunken Diallers! I know that feeling well. BUT I usually only rang before I had had 6 VBs , I always thought the 7th was the one that made me drunk! LOL.......or after I had blacked out, then I would ring the world, and winge, and the next day , I would have those dreadful 1/2 flashbacks, you know the ones , what did I say? who did I ring? ....did I really say that ? OMG! thank goodness that is over
Hope you have had a good day
HUGX
Lee
Oh! I was Queen of the drunken Diallers! I know that feeling well. BUT I usually only rang before I had had 6 VBs , I always thought the 7th was the one that made me drunk! LOL.......or after I had blacked out, then I would ring the world, and winge, and the next day , I would have those dreadful 1/2 flashbacks, you know the ones , what did I say? who did I ring? ....did I really say that ? OMG! thank goodness that is over
Hope you have had a good day
HUGX
Lee
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: The world
Posts: 31
ME AGAIN! Gotta keep typing to occupy myself.
Thanx Lee - My day is getting a little harder. I took my dog for a walk and just finished dinner. This is my hard time when I get in the car and go to the shop. Hence why I've logged back on here..what a blessing. I'm not craving wine just the relaxed feeling of a nite time.
I will jump in the shower (its quite hot here, was 31 today) and cool down then settle in to watch the OC and Rove. I'm a proud of getting through to day 2. I have to do this because I am on my own too and if I lose my job well......!
You have a great week.
Braveheart
Thanx Lee - My day is getting a little harder. I took my dog for a walk and just finished dinner. This is my hard time when I get in the car and go to the shop. Hence why I've logged back on here..what a blessing. I'm not craving wine just the relaxed feeling of a nite time.
I will jump in the shower (its quite hot here, was 31 today) and cool down then settle in to watch the OC and Rove. I'm a proud of getting through to day 2. I have to do this because I am on my own too and if I lose my job well......!
You have a great week.
Braveheart
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Melbourne victoria
Posts: 1,975
Hi!
Yes the evening was hard for me too. I guess i went to lots of meetings ( still do) that filled them in a bit . But I really do enjoy my evenings home now .
i think I mentioned i got a little dog, when i was first sober, and he has been a godsend . he is very joyous,and a bit of a dag, he keeps me smiling LOL I live near the beach, so we go there quite a bit on my days off.
has been a nice day here too, 26 and sunny , but autumn is comming ! it is very beautiful here when the leaves turn, there are some beautiful gardens . but then the melkbourne winter ! LOL I am just getting used to it after 6 years back here. I worked for the flying Doc in FNQ and then the Kimberley for 21 years, and am enjoying the change in the seasons
take care
HUGX
Lee
Yes the evening was hard for me too. I guess i went to lots of meetings ( still do) that filled them in a bit . But I really do enjoy my evenings home now .
i think I mentioned i got a little dog, when i was first sober, and he has been a godsend . he is very joyous,and a bit of a dag, he keeps me smiling LOL I live near the beach, so we go there quite a bit on my days off.
has been a nice day here too, 26 and sunny , but autumn is comming ! it is very beautiful here when the leaves turn, there are some beautiful gardens . but then the melkbourne winter ! LOL I am just getting used to it after 6 years back here. I worked for the flying Doc in FNQ and then the Kimberley for 21 years, and am enjoying the change in the seasons
take care
HUGX
Lee
Soberus Maxus
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Seattle WA
Posts: 298
Ah the drunken dialing thing. I used to get off the phone like I was King of the Land.
Oh yes I just rambled on so nicely. So profound. Such important things to say.
Untill morning what did I say? Ooooops... Dang.. Crap...
Sleeep what was that...night sweats.. yuk.
Braveheart nightime is Sobe Time I dont know if you have those over there but there great I love them.
You can take your shoes off before you come in I dont care. I dont want you to overheat your tootsies.
Max
Oh yes I just rambled on so nicely. So profound. Such important things to say.
Untill morning what did I say? Ooooops... Dang.. Crap...
Sleeep what was that...night sweats.. yuk.
Braveheart nightime is Sobe Time I dont know if you have those over there but there great I love them.
You can take your shoes off before you come in I dont care. I dont want you to overheat your tootsies.
Max
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: williamstown, nj
Posts: 10
you are not alone
hi braveheart,
congratualations on your admittance and i know exactly where you are coming from w/ the anti-depresents. i come to this forum about once aweek to read posts and remind myself that I am not alone......i had a heavy cocaine and marijuana addiction lat year, and its been about 2 and a half monthes since i last used either. i used to spend all my money on coke and then not have enough money left over for my paxil prescription.....i take paxil for obsessive compulsive disorder. when i would come down from the coke, i would pick at my skin horribly, and i have scars left over to look at everyday to remind me that i can't do drugs anymore, and i need to take my paxil like prescribed. someone will probably have a problem w/ this, but i do not go to na/aa outside the house, for my own reasons. i use this forum, i thank God and ask him for guidance everyday (at least I try), and I go to therapy every week. the last two monthes have been the best monthes of my life.....i can get up and go to work, i don't have to go inner-city to cop anymore, and i am not putting myself in dangerous situations anymore, God willing. Good luck on your journey. -Emi77
congratualations on your admittance and i know exactly where you are coming from w/ the anti-depresents. i come to this forum about once aweek to read posts and remind myself that I am not alone......i had a heavy cocaine and marijuana addiction lat year, and its been about 2 and a half monthes since i last used either. i used to spend all my money on coke and then not have enough money left over for my paxil prescription.....i take paxil for obsessive compulsive disorder. when i would come down from the coke, i would pick at my skin horribly, and i have scars left over to look at everyday to remind me that i can't do drugs anymore, and i need to take my paxil like prescribed. someone will probably have a problem w/ this, but i do not go to na/aa outside the house, for my own reasons. i use this forum, i thank God and ask him for guidance everyday (at least I try), and I go to therapy every week. the last two monthes have been the best monthes of my life.....i can get up and go to work, i don't have to go inner-city to cop anymore, and i am not putting myself in dangerous situations anymore, God willing. Good luck on your journey. -Emi77
Soberus Maxus
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Seattle WA
Posts: 298
Emi what a great post and Im glad your doing so good. You really helped me with your post and I am proud of you. One of the things that scare me is when people put themselves at risk to score their DOC. It seems that getting the drug is as bad as using it. I hate, hate, hate, Coke. I call it feel like **** powder. I hate it. I used it years ago and it almost took me down. Im so glad I hated it. Even though I hated it I have no idea why I used it.
Keep up the good work on yourself and your helping me by posting. Not all of us go to meetings that may be good or bad for some of us this place is where we get our strength.
Best to all Max
Keep up the good work on yourself and your helping me by posting. Not all of us go to meetings that may be good or bad for some of us this place is where we get our strength.
Best to all Max
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: The world
Posts: 31
Day Three for Me!
Today I am feeling better with no symptoms. Just tired. I even enjoyed my day laughing and being a numnut (I'm a big of a dag) cracking jokes and being silly at work. I feel so much more alive. And its only been 3 days. Imagine after a week or 2 or 3. I am still having internal arguements with myself. I was driving home and thought ooohhh I'll just get one bottle of wine you know I've been good and all. Yada Yada Yada. Then I said no, keep driving, go home first and start dinner. I hope no one thinks I've gone mad cause I'm starting to talk to myself. Must look funny in the car. Anyway I'm home now and not going out. I put the car in the garage so its packed away for the night and too much hassle to get it out. I'm also going to have a shower and wet my hair - no way I'm going to the shops with wet hair and no makeup. I find this a deterant.
I have green eyes which I've been told are a lovely asset. Its amazing how nice they look without a reddish tinge around them. LOL!
Hi Emi, thankyou for sharing. I too pick at myself. Wow, I've never admitted this before. If I find a pimple I will kill it and kill it until it becomes big and sore. I actually look for some sort of blemish even if there is none there. Its usually on my arms and chest so I can cover them up by wearing long sleeves. Its a horrible thing to do but when I do I don't even realise it. This too is considered a part of OCD which I never thought I suffered from but its a definate sign.
Yeah, my phone calls were just like yours Max. Oh some of the complete and utter s**t that used to come out of my mouth. At least I never phoned my ex. Phew!
I have a beagle who is a dag too. He actually tries to speak to me. When I say "whats up puppy?" or "what do you want?" He sits and throws his head in the air and sorta grumbles and howls together. Sounds a bit like I really sick lawn mower trying to start up. Its hilarious.
I love it here. I almost can't wait to get home to see who's here and who's written and who I can help.
Cheers to you all
Braveheart
I have green eyes which I've been told are a lovely asset. Its amazing how nice they look without a reddish tinge around them. LOL!
Hi Emi, thankyou for sharing. I too pick at myself. Wow, I've never admitted this before. If I find a pimple I will kill it and kill it until it becomes big and sore. I actually look for some sort of blemish even if there is none there. Its usually on my arms and chest so I can cover them up by wearing long sleeves. Its a horrible thing to do but when I do I don't even realise it. This too is considered a part of OCD which I never thought I suffered from but its a definate sign.
Yeah, my phone calls were just like yours Max. Oh some of the complete and utter s**t that used to come out of my mouth. At least I never phoned my ex. Phew!
I have a beagle who is a dag too. He actually tries to speak to me. When I say "whats up puppy?" or "what do you want?" He sits and throws his head in the air and sorta grumbles and howls together. Sounds a bit like I really sick lawn mower trying to start up. Its hilarious.
I love it here. I almost can't wait to get home to see who's here and who's written and who I can help.
Cheers to you all
Braveheart
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: At the Healing Alter of the Goddess
Posts: 23
Congratulations on your sober days!! It DOES just get better and better. I'm not really counting the days anymore, but I have over two weeks and life is grand! Next week we are going home (we are Americans currently living in Quebec) and I can't wait to see my house through sober eyes again! 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: The world
Posts: 31
Good onya Naturelover,
I'm sure your house will be more beautiful and homey than you ever thought. I love my house. I bought it with my own blood, sweat and tears and it means the world to me and I tell it that regularly.
Thank you for your kind wishes. I'm glad to here you're not counting the days anymore because thats where I wish I was at. I can't wait to get to that point.
Best wishes on returning HOME!
Braveheart
I'm sure your house will be more beautiful and homey than you ever thought. I love my house. I bought it with my own blood, sweat and tears and it means the world to me and I tell it that regularly.
Thank you for your kind wishes. I'm glad to here you're not counting the days anymore because thats where I wish I was at. I can't wait to get to that point.
Best wishes on returning HOME!
Braveheart
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 1,525
Hi Braveheart!
I am just loving your posts! You are so positive & fun. And that no makeup/wet hair strategy to avoid heading back out to the shops? Excellent.
I have a beagle, too--such a crack-up! He's the biggest wimp, scared of the silliest things (like, if I move the trash bin to a different place he's suddenly suspicious of it--a nice, albeit temporary, change from his usual "dumpster diving!") But once in awhile he seems to have this need to prove his masculinity to the world, so he'll strut around the backyard barking (which sounds more like yodeling) at nothing in particular. What a character! Life would be so dull without him.
Well, keep up the good work!
Best,
Jane
I am just loving your posts! You are so positive & fun. And that no makeup/wet hair strategy to avoid heading back out to the shops? Excellent.
I have a beagle, too--such a crack-up! He's the biggest wimp, scared of the silliest things (like, if I move the trash bin to a different place he's suddenly suspicious of it--a nice, albeit temporary, change from his usual "dumpster diving!") But once in awhile he seems to have this need to prove his masculinity to the world, so he'll strut around the backyard barking (which sounds more like yodeling) at nothing in particular. What a character! Life would be so dull without him.
Well, keep up the good work!
Best,
Jane
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 11
Hi Braveheart!
I can relate to everything that you said! I know that you can work through this. You have had a child - I've never been that brave. I'm terrified by this right now... I can't imagine life without my buffer - alcohol. I've pushed through marathons - I ran my last one on a bum ankle and I fractured my foot at mile 18. Pushing through this is harder than running on a broken bone. Let's do it.
Remember being a vibrant child? That's what I keep thinking about -those days before the bottle... It's there...
I wish you the best! Write any time.
Run
I can relate to everything that you said! I know that you can work through this. You have had a child - I've never been that brave. I'm terrified by this right now... I can't imagine life without my buffer - alcohol. I've pushed through marathons - I ran my last one on a bum ankle and I fractured my foot at mile 18. Pushing through this is harder than running on a broken bone. Let's do it.
Remember being a vibrant child? That's what I keep thinking about -those days before the bottle... It's there...
I wish you the best! Write any time.
Run
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