Starting Over AGAIN
JUST DO IT!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Here Or There
Posts: 7,612
Starting Over AGAIN
Well what can I say except the truth I USED>>>>>I am so damn made at myself yet I know that this was coming. I knew that I was setting myself up, I really don't think that I have it in me again. I am just tired of fighting this. I know why I used, it is because I had a reservation and I also know what that reservation is but I am not willing to let it go either. I don't know if I should be here either. I just feel really lost right now. I am so ashamed of myself for what I did, and also I screwed up someone else sobriety also. What a damn looser that I really am. 
Just a no good looser Sorry guys hope you all well
Love Vic
Just a no good looser
Sorry guys hope you all wellLove Vic
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: fumbling towards ecstasy
Posts: 2,551
Originally Posted by luckyv2
Just a no good looser Sorry guys hope you all well
Sorry guys hope you all wellWhat are you going to do? Give in or get back to what you know works - recovery.
Lean on your sponsor, on your friends in recovery, and the people who care about you on SR.
Praying for you, Vic.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: New Focus
Posts: 687
((((((((((VIC)))))))))))
Phinny is soooooo right, the disease talking, Vic you are not a looser.
You have helped me and so many others here at SR by showing caring kindness and by sharing your ES&H. That has not gone away and will never go away. Just like all the days sober you have enjoyed, they are not gone, those sober days prove you know what to do.
Pay attention to the wake up call, get the support you need and come on back to the bus, I have the extra hevay duty belt on the seat for you.
Just dont stay out in the cold, your worth more that that
((((((((((VIC))))))))))
Phinny is soooooo right, the disease talking, Vic you are not a looser.
You have helped me and so many others here at SR by showing caring kindness and by sharing your ES&H. That has not gone away and will never go away. Just like all the days sober you have enjoyed, they are not gone, those sober days prove you know what to do.
Pay attention to the wake up call, get the support you need and come on back to the bus, I have the extra hevay duty belt on the seat for you.
Just dont stay out in the cold, your worth more that that
((((((((((VIC))))))))))
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: uhrichsville ohio
Posts: 2
look ur not a loser none of us are we all have problems i know im nobody to saying anything to anyone but.we all fall off the ban wagon sooner or later but what would make us total mess ups would be if we choose to stay off the wagon and not to go get back on it don't worry u can do it and u didn't mess the other person they made their own choice to do whatever it was u guys did just keep in mind this will only make u stronger and make u want to fight even more to get clean
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in the present moment
Posts: 2,060
((((Vic)))))
I am glad you are here. You have helped so many people with your honesty and love, and I mean that. We don't need anyone to be perfect. We would never really trust the perfect person, anyway.
The disease is talking at you. Just so you know that. The truth would never say those things to you.
It is really important that you express the reservations that you are harboring as a way to get clarification on them, and gain a healthy perspective. Can you talk with your sponsor and here about them?
We are here for you Vic!
I am glad you are here. You have helped so many people with your honesty and love, and I mean that. We don't need anyone to be perfect. We would never really trust the perfect person, anyway.
The disease is talking at you. Just so you know that. The truth would never say those things to you.
It is really important that you express the reservations that you are harboring as a way to get clarification on them, and gain a healthy perspective. Can you talk with your sponsor and here about them?
We are here for you Vic!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Recovery
Posts: 3,229
(((Vic))) You are in my thoughts and prayers. You are not a loser-- please don't think that about yourself. It is the disease trying to pull you back in but you have so many people who will stand by your side to help you pick yourself back up. Let us be your strength until you can find it again. We all love you very much Vic. You don't deserve this pain. I know exactly what you are feeling and I will do anything I can to help you.
Love,
Hope
Love,
Hope
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,491
Vic,
You are definitely not a loser. You've had 10 clean months and you've done great. You've also been under a lot of stress. I'm glad you're here. This is the best place for you, with all your friends nearby. You can get past this and move forward. You've not lost the 10 months you have Vic. They're yours.
You are definitely not a loser. You've had 10 clean months and you've done great. You've also been under a lot of stress. I'm glad you're here. This is the best place for you, with all your friends nearby. You can get past this and move forward. You've not lost the 10 months you have Vic. They're yours.
Day by day....
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: NW GA
Posts: 357
Vic you are not a loser. God do I understand how you feel. I relapsed with almost 11 years. I was so angry - but you know what.....just like everyone else said - pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep trying. There are NO failures in this program - this is an opportunity. Take it and use it to the best of your ability. We are here for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 763
Vic, this is a journey and we are all here because we need each other. The setbacks can teach us a great deal if we let them, and we all learn from each others' experience.
You have been such a help to me; no loser, you.
Gianna
You have been such a help to me; no loser, you.
Gianna
Soberus Maxus
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Seattle WA
Posts: 298
Vic thanks for being there for me. Your words are an inspiration for all of us.
I start over everyday. Please get over feeling like a loser as soon as you can.
Nobody thinks that way of you that way your to important to all of us new people.
You old timer you. Dust yourself off and we can all pull the wagon together.
Or Ill write a poem!
Max
I start over everyday. Please get over feeling like a loser as soon as you can.
Nobody thinks that way of you that way your to important to all of us new people.
You old timer you. Dust yourself off and we can all pull the wagon together.
Or Ill write a poem!
Max
1 bite&all resistance crumbles
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: IRELAND
Posts: 2,208
Vic
Starting over is what's important.
Don't give up. Stay here with friends, lean on sponsor, as suggested...just don't give up on YOU! No one else has.
As Anna said those 10 months are YOURS!
Hope to see you again soon - maybe now you can sit back and receive, and believe, the same support that you so freely give!
We are here for you....I won't even acknowledg the loser comment, it's so not true! Maybe "user" (temporarily!! And only temporarily) but not loser!
See you Soon
Cathy31
x
Starting over is what's important.
Don't give up. Stay here with friends, lean on sponsor, as suggested...just don't give up on YOU! No one else has.
As Anna said those 10 months are YOURS!
Hope to see you again soon - maybe now you can sit back and receive, and believe, the same support that you so freely give!
We are here for you....I won't even acknowledg the loser comment, it's so not true! Maybe "user" (temporarily!! And only temporarily) but not loser!
See you Soon
Cathy31
x
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Newark,DE
Posts: 404
Dear Vic,
It happens, as was said, think of the 10 good months you had, you are already winning! Once and a while you will have setbacks, not the end of the world!
Get in there and try for another 10!
S
It happens, as was said, think of the 10 good months you had, you are already winning! Once and a while you will have setbacks, not the end of the world!
Get in there and try for another 10!
S
The truth shall set you free
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: United States
Posts: 5,267
Hi Vic
The I knew I was setting myself up syndrome. Know It Very well. This disease is very conning and baffling. Reservation is a product of fear and guilt, It keeps us from doing what we can do today. Both limit us and prevent us from re-experiencing past pain. Our pain has taught us to avoid situations where we have failed. Are the limitations of the past really protecting us? Or are they merely carry-overs from our active addiction and early recovery?
Open-mindedness becomes a key principle in our recovery because it is something we can do on a daily basis that can provide both the opportunity and break we need to grow, at the same time reservations blocks our growth. We're not living in the past, unless we make that choice! Fear of letting go is a lack of faith, weather its with our H.P. or our foundation in recovery (steps, meetings, sponsor, other addicts etc.). We as addicts can not leave a stone un-turn. The underlying fear that we keep in our thoughts and feelings in
strict control will relapse us.
If we cannot remain open-minded and teachable, we will find ourselves stagnating and reverting to the games of manipulation and control. There is a difference between discipline and control. Control deadens because if offers no choice and lack of having a say in our lives is killing to our spirits
Discipline allows us to cultivate our lives by exploring the meanings of words like choice, training, moderation, restraint, concentration, caution and forbearance. We are free to avoid the excesses that lead to much of our fear and guilt.
Step out of you for a few minuets. Remember the first days, months of recovery, we were alone, confused we were failures in life. That desperation gave us the desire for recovery in the first place. Dont lose that hope. What is important that you use the concept of your recovery to get back on that horse and move forward. Use your tools. Remember humility is a lack of faith.
Peace and Love
Ivan
The I knew I was setting myself up syndrome. Know It Very well. This disease is very conning and baffling. Reservation is a product of fear and guilt, It keeps us from doing what we can do today. Both limit us and prevent us from re-experiencing past pain. Our pain has taught us to avoid situations where we have failed. Are the limitations of the past really protecting us? Or are they merely carry-overs from our active addiction and early recovery?
Open-mindedness becomes a key principle in our recovery because it is something we can do on a daily basis that can provide both the opportunity and break we need to grow, at the same time reservations blocks our growth. We're not living in the past, unless we make that choice! Fear of letting go is a lack of faith, weather its with our H.P. or our foundation in recovery (steps, meetings, sponsor, other addicts etc.). We as addicts can not leave a stone un-turn. The underlying fear that we keep in our thoughts and feelings in
strict control will relapse us.
If we cannot remain open-minded and teachable, we will find ourselves stagnating and reverting to the games of manipulation and control. There is a difference between discipline and control. Control deadens because if offers no choice and lack of having a say in our lives is killing to our spirits
Discipline allows us to cultivate our lives by exploring the meanings of words like choice, training, moderation, restraint, concentration, caution and forbearance. We are free to avoid the excesses that lead to much of our fear and guilt.
Step out of you for a few minuets. Remember the first days, months of recovery, we were alone, confused we were failures in life. That desperation gave us the desire for recovery in the first place. Dont lose that hope. What is important that you use the concept of your recovery to get back on that horse and move forward. Use your tools. Remember humility is a lack of faith.
Peace and Love
Ivan
NA Rocks!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Location Location
Posts: 517
Love ya Vic! 
Your honesty is so beautiful and admirable. You're a good man who deserves the best life has to offer. You've been struggling with some very difficult stuff. Your disease took a swing at ya. Time to fight back!
Go get that white keytag, introduce yourself as a newcomer, and just don't use today. You KNOW you can do this.
It could be some addicts here at SR were thinking of relapsing, and now they'll learn from your experience, so they won't have to .... see? You may have just saved us! So thank you, Vic.
Prayers to you .....
((((VIC))))
Kelly
Your honesty is so beautiful and admirable. You're a good man who deserves the best life has to offer. You've been struggling with some very difficult stuff. Your disease took a swing at ya. Time to fight back!Go get that white keytag, introduce yourself as a newcomer, and just don't use today. You KNOW you can do this.
It could be some addicts here at SR were thinking of relapsing, and now they'll learn from your experience, so they won't have to .... see? You may have just saved us! So thank you, Vic.
Prayers to you .....
((((VIC))))Kelly
everything is already ok
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 19,793
Hey Vic I agree with Phinny.
You gotta do something so why not keep moving forward. I need you to be here and be clean. If its the days, I wouldl split mine in half if I could.
Talk to us Vic.
I am praying for you.
Love Kevin
You gotta do something so why not keep moving forward. I need you to be here and be clean. If its the days, I wouldl split mine in half if I could.
Talk to us Vic.
I am praying for you.
Love Kevin
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