Starting Over AGAIN
*~10 YEARS BABY~*
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Hollywood
Posts: 9,369
*Chapter Three* ~Vic~
I was given this when I was in my treatment center for my
eating disorder. It has been a life saver for me
more times than I can even count. I have
it framed on my wall. I read it
whenever I am struggling.
(HA HA)
85,0000 TIMES A DAY
I don't know if you will get as much out of it as I do
but here ya go. I hope you read it and get out
fast. Good luck to you. Read Chapter 3
a few times. Over and Over.
DWI
One
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost .... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
Two
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend that I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in this same place.
But, it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
Three
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in ... it's a habit ... but, my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
Four
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
Five
I walk down another street.
I was given this when I was in my treatment center for my
eating disorder. It has been a life saver for me
more times than I can even count. I have
it framed on my wall. I read it
whenever I am struggling.
(HA HA)
85,0000 TIMES A DAY
I don't know if you will get as much out of it as I do
but here ya go. I hope you read it and get out
fast. Good luck to you. Read Chapter 3
a few times. Over and Over.
DWI
One
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost .... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
Two
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend that I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in this same place.
But, it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
Three
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in ... it's a habit ... but, my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
Four
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
Five
I walk down another street.
Om, Aum, Ohm...
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Punxsutawney/Pittsburgh
Posts: 4,797
I know why I used, it is because I had a reservation and I also know what that reservation is but I am not willing to let it go either.
Peace & Love,
Sugah
We all need each other.
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: The road of happy destiny.
Posts: 2,294
(((((((((Vic))))))))))) We all love you and need you here. Can I tell you something? (Too bad. I am telling you anyway....) I have a pretty big reservation of my own. I worried for a long time that I would have to use over it. Then I realized I don't ever have to use. However long it takes me to work these things out is how long it is going to take me. Progress not perfection, right?
So, you used. As you know very well, any day an addict doesn't use is a miracle. You just did what comes so naturally to all of us. Now it is time to get back to work. Please don't use this slip as an excuse to keep yourself in hell. You deserve so much more than that.
Hope you'll post again soon......
Big, huge hugs to you--
So, you used. As you know very well, any day an addict doesn't use is a miracle. You just did what comes so naturally to all of us. Now it is time to get back to work. Please don't use this slip as an excuse to keep yourself in hell. You deserve so much more than that.
Hope you'll post again soon......
Big, huge hugs to you--
doing the inside job
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: planet happy
Posts: 542
VICK....
I relapsed after 11 years...
So you can't take the king of looser crown from me.
I RULE THAT KINGDOM, the CROWN is mine.. all mind. lol
You feel nucular blast yet ?
you know.... like it say in the chapter of relapse and recovery.
Or stuff in Your head/ disease saying...."you suck, you suck,
so you might as will go out f#^k everything up"
But hey wasn't that the same vioce that said.
"it's be alright, it's be alright.....com on , com on, just one time"
You hAVE a better/deeper understanding of INCURABLE...yes?
so....how can you that be a lost. It's probably one of the greatest
concrete to re-enforce your recovery even more.
Beside, today is all we'll ever have.
Yesterday is about as gone as the Nepolian war.
You never lost the 10 months, that you earned.
No one, nothing can ever take that from you or change that.
You are a winner. It ain't easy to admit and be honest
Courage is not without fear. So ..you think everybody have what
it takes, to admit or took the courage to did what you just did.
I relapsed after 11 years...
So you can't take the king of looser crown from me.
I RULE THAT KINGDOM, the CROWN is mine.. all mind. lol
You feel nucular blast yet ?
you know.... like it say in the chapter of relapse and recovery.
Or stuff in Your head/ disease saying...."you suck, you suck,
so you might as will go out f#^k everything up"
But hey wasn't that the same vioce that said.
"it's be alright, it's be alright.....com on , com on, just one time"
You hAVE a better/deeper understanding of INCURABLE...yes?
so....how can you that be a lost. It's probably one of the greatest
concrete to re-enforce your recovery even more.
Beside, today is all we'll ever have.
Yesterday is about as gone as the Nepolian war.
You never lost the 10 months, that you earned.
No one, nothing can ever take that from you or change that.
You are a winner. It ain't easy to admit and be honest
Courage is not without fear. So ..you think everybody have what
it takes, to admit or took the courage to did what you just did.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 425
Vic if you're a loser, then so am I.
I relapsed at almost 10 months clean. I beat myself up and did the whole loser thing to myself too.
Monday I celebrate 18 months clean AND serene. For the first 10 months clean again I refused to take a keytag that I already had. Punishment I guess, even though I did earn them again.
I was able to look back on all the mistakes I made the first year of recovery and see where I went wrong. Stayed in a relationship that I should have ended, moved, started slacking on meetings, not contacting others, not reading my Just for today, or other literature.
I did not protect myself and my recovery, I did not put it or myself first.
This time around, I made better choices. When I first got clean (this time) I had split with the relationship, spent my first 5 months of clean time in a wheelchair, and had financial problems as well. Now I can look back on it all and see that these things did not kill me, but made me stronger.
Vic I pray that you will come back and work at your sobriety again. You deserve it. For many of us relapse if part of our recovery, and if someone had of told me that I was going to relapse, I would have told them they were crazy.
You can do this, again, and again and again if you have to. You will never lose those 10 months, or forget what you learned and the coping skills you used.
My thoughts and prayers go out to you now Vic.
Big hugs,
Diana
I relapsed at almost 10 months clean. I beat myself up and did the whole loser thing to myself too.
Monday I celebrate 18 months clean AND serene. For the first 10 months clean again I refused to take a keytag that I already had. Punishment I guess, even though I did earn them again.
I was able to look back on all the mistakes I made the first year of recovery and see where I went wrong. Stayed in a relationship that I should have ended, moved, started slacking on meetings, not contacting others, not reading my Just for today, or other literature.
I did not protect myself and my recovery, I did not put it or myself first.
This time around, I made better choices. When I first got clean (this time) I had split with the relationship, spent my first 5 months of clean time in a wheelchair, and had financial problems as well. Now I can look back on it all and see that these things did not kill me, but made me stronger.
Vic I pray that you will come back and work at your sobriety again. You deserve it. For many of us relapse if part of our recovery, and if someone had of told me that I was going to relapse, I would have told them they were crazy.
You can do this, again, and again and again if you have to. You will never lose those 10 months, or forget what you learned and the coping skills you used.
My thoughts and prayers go out to you now Vic.
Big hugs,
Diana
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Nottm Nottinghamshire
Posts: 217
Hi Vic
Do you remember how Thomas Edison took 2000 attempts to invent the lightbulb? and when someone asked how it felt to fail 2000 times, he replied:
'I didn't fail! I invented the lightbulb! It was just a 2000 step process.
My dad is an alcoholic. He's unlikely to live another 3 years at this rate but he has no intention of quitting. He's given up trying to survive but you haven't and that's why you're still posting and regretting that you added another step to your own process. You haven't lost 10 months you've only lost a day and you haven't even lost a day if it makes your resolve and determination stronger. That day could be Gods way of telling you to keep your guard up and of reminding you of the importance of being vigilent in your fight against the enemy. In which case it might not be losing a day but gaining the rest of your life.
All the comfort, support, advice and encouragement you've given me so unselfishly... (not too mention the many others you've supported) All the time you've been here for us even though you had problems of your own...those aren't the actions of a loser but of a compassionate,
selfless, caring human being. Add to that the fact that addiction by its very nature is a selfish disease and that makes you even more inspirational and to me (and I'm sure many others) a person to look up to and aspire to.
You DIDN'T screw up, you've been given one day by God that you can use in any way you want. You can regret it and beat yourself up about it and feel bad or you can be defiant and show your enemy that he's failed and all he's really done is make you stronger and more defiant than ever.
You are a truly beautiful person and without your support and encouragement I and many others would have lost our battles many times over.
keep strong honey. you're the BEST
(((((((((((((((((((((((((Vic)))))))))))))))))))))) )))))))) *Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig hugs!
Molly
XXX
Do you remember how Thomas Edison took 2000 attempts to invent the lightbulb? and when someone asked how it felt to fail 2000 times, he replied:
'I didn't fail! I invented the lightbulb! It was just a 2000 step process.
My dad is an alcoholic. He's unlikely to live another 3 years at this rate but he has no intention of quitting. He's given up trying to survive but you haven't and that's why you're still posting and regretting that you added another step to your own process. You haven't lost 10 months you've only lost a day and you haven't even lost a day if it makes your resolve and determination stronger. That day could be Gods way of telling you to keep your guard up and of reminding you of the importance of being vigilent in your fight against the enemy. In which case it might not be losing a day but gaining the rest of your life.
All the comfort, support, advice and encouragement you've given me so unselfishly... (not too mention the many others you've supported) All the time you've been here for us even though you had problems of your own...those aren't the actions of a loser but of a compassionate,
selfless, caring human being. Add to that the fact that addiction by its very nature is a selfish disease and that makes you even more inspirational and to me (and I'm sure many others) a person to look up to and aspire to.
You DIDN'T screw up, you've been given one day by God that you can use in any way you want. You can regret it and beat yourself up about it and feel bad or you can be defiant and show your enemy that he's failed and all he's really done is make you stronger and more defiant than ever.
You are a truly beautiful person and without your support and encouragement I and many others would have lost our battles many times over.
keep strong honey. you're the BEST
(((((((((((((((((((((((((Vic)))))))))))))))))))))) )))))))) *Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig hugs!
Molly
XXX
Member
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 763
Great post Molly. I am going to steal that Edison quote...
Hey Nutz, I relapsed after 13 years. I win!!!!
and (((((((Vic))))))), it is people like you who give me courage to keep on marching toward the light.
Gianna
Hey Nutz, I relapsed after 13 years. I win!!!!
and (((((((Vic))))))), it is people like you who give me courage to keep on marching toward the light.
Gianna
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: zion, illinois
Posts: 7
Hey man I've was first introduced to the 12 steps(mostly AA) in 1981 and I just celebrated 30 days of sobriety. I've relapsed MANY times and I've been through clubing myself because of it. Bottom line is you probably have the disease of addiction which is(my big book quote of the day) cunning, baffling, powerful. So give yourself a break, go to some meetings, and be gratful you're still alive. A lot of people don't make it back. Im knew a guy in L.A. who went through 9 months of intensive treatment in one tough program and finally graduated. The next day they found him in his car with a rig still hanging out of his arm. Believe it or not we still have a lot to be grafteful for.
As long as your still sucking in air there is hope...
Chris
As long as your still sucking in air there is hope...
Chris
Back from the "Dark Side"
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: TX
Posts: 34
Hey Vic,
Just pick yourself up, dust yourself of and get back on the horse, horse here is stop using again. I always say if you stop trying that’s when you won't succeed in getting clean. It took me a bunch of tries before I got it right, just get back at it
You will be fine!
phil
Just pick yourself up, dust yourself of and get back on the horse, horse here is stop using again. I always say if you stop trying that’s when you won't succeed in getting clean. It took me a bunch of tries before I got it right, just get back at it
You will be fine!
phil
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in the present moment
Posts: 2,060
Vic,
Feel all the love here for you? Let it in. Gobble it up!! I LOVED Molly's Thomas edison story...Creating the lightbulb was a 2000 step process. No failure at all.
Your own ray of light is shining within you right now.Its powered by that same force which beats your heart and breathes your breaths. And, as Chris says, as long as thats going on inside you, there is HOPE.
Hope to see you here again soon!
Feel all the love here for you? Let it in. Gobble it up!! I LOVED Molly's Thomas edison story...Creating the lightbulb was a 2000 step process. No failure at all.
Your own ray of light is shining within you right now.Its powered by that same force which beats your heart and breathes your breaths. And, as Chris says, as long as thats going on inside you, there is HOPE.
Hope to see you here again soon!
Learning as I go
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 730
Vic I have relapsed more than once. You are no loser!! You have helped me a lot and you need to get your but back here because we miss you! You can do this.
Done with it...thanks for posting There's a Hole it The Sidewalk. I really like to read that.
(((((VIC)))))
Done with it...thanks for posting There's a Hole it The Sidewalk. I really like to read that.
(((((VIC)))))
doing the inside job
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: planet happy
Posts: 542
The writght brothers crashed the wright flyer over and over again.
Hell...the entire world did'nt even beliving in them.
They were deemed NUTZ.lol
Abe Licoln was a total looser.lol
He failed in bussiness
He failed in running for verious office, over and over.
Breat Frave, Jonh ElwAY, jOE mONTANa. aLL Threw crap loads
of interceptions, fumbled, droped the ball, made stupid plays
Lost many, many important playoff games, years after years.
All pretty much gets knock on their ass almost every play.
Hell...the entire world did'nt even beliving in them.
They were deemed NUTZ.lol
Abe Licoln was a total looser.lol
He failed in bussiness
He failed in running for verious office, over and over.
Breat Frave, Jonh ElwAY, jOE mONTANa. aLL Threw crap loads
of interceptions, fumbled, droped the ball, made stupid plays
Lost many, many important playoff games, years after years.
All pretty much gets knock on their ass almost every play.
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