Faithful2006

I found this site this morning and have spent a lot of time reading many of the posts. First I would like to describe my situation and hopefully someone will be able to give me some advice.
I started drinking heavily in college, yea, I joined a fraternity and drinking is practically a requirement. For the first couple of years I only drank a few nights of the week but towards the end of my time there I was drinking 8-12 beers a night. Around this same time in my life I also began smoking pot on a daily basis. (Which I have quit for 3 months now and will never return to) I moved in with my parents after college and it began to be difficult to hide these habits. I did however find ways to continue drinking several beers as well as mixed shots of hard alcohol, whether at the bar or at home.
After about a year to a year and a half later I becoming more gainfully employed and moved into my own apartment. I stopped going to the bars and found myself drinking 6-12 beers a night while at home, followed by serveral shots of brandy. This went on for about a year and then I tried to take a different approach to alcohol since it was starting to show in my "love handles". I started drinking rum and diet coke because of the no carbs, no sugars in it. I stuck to three shots of rum per glass and 3 glasses per night. This pattern went on for about a year. Lately I've been trying to cut back so I've been kind of working backwards. For the last two weeks I've had 4 beers and 4 shots of brandy per night, and I decided recently to cut that back and gradually eliminate the brandy. Then from there I was planning to drink less and less beer as the weeks go by. The problem is that it's often hard to stick to these limitations and I often found myself going for "just one more" shot or beer.
Several months ago I was resolved to only drink on weekends. Indeed the first week was pretty terrible, I got very little sleep and decided to allow myself one day during the week to drink. After only a couple of weeks I switched back to everyday with the idea that I would slowly reduce the amount I drank for a less painful experience.
I am resolved at this point to quit but I believe that the amounts that I drink everyday place me in a high risk category. I was recently laid off from my job (not performance related) and have no medical insurance. At this point I'm thinking that in order to quit drinking entirely I will HAVE to slowly reduce the amount I drink over an extended period of time. Initially I thought that now would be a good time to quit cold turkey because I simply cannot afford to spend the money... now I'm not so sure.
Eitherway I know that I need to quit and I am resolved to do so. I do not believe that I need to go to AA, nor do I plan to, because I have plenty of support through friends, family, and God Himself. I am fully confident that I can do this, I just don't want to take a dangerous risk by going cold turkey without any medical insurance. For the past 2 months I have started taking vitamin supplements and making my own juice with a juice extractor. I have indeed been feeling much better because of that. Now it's time to eliminate the alcohol...
Any advice for my situation would be greatly appreciated. As I mentioned, for safety sake I'm planning to drink tonight, but only half of what I normally would. I guess I'll see what that does to me for now as I wait for some advice.
You have a great community of people here and I think that help being offered is truly a blessing!

Thanks!

CarolD

Welcome!
Glad to see you are seeking answers to your drinking.

I recommend...For understanding alcoholism...

"Under The influence"
and it's sequel
"Beyond The Influence"

they are carried by Amazon

You will find all sorts of excellent info for your new life.

Max Oblivia

Hey, I loved reading your post because like alot of us you count your drinks and plan carefully for your drinking. You have realized for a long time that it is a problem for you and you are making a plan to quit. You sound like me your a planner and Im sure quite good at what you do. I tried the taper thing and when I realized that Im an alcoholic I knew it was all or nothing for me. Just like most other things in my life.
The all or nothing plan prolonged my drinking for 20 more years because when I would try to taper I would just go back to my old ways.
Everyone here recommends that you see a doctor for withdrawl. I drank about 10 to 12 drinks a day and just quit on my own. I didnt sleep for a few days but never did anyway. I didnt have any real physical withdrawls just mental. But I was determined.
Im finding that attacking it one day at a time works. Last night I walked thru the door and wanted a drink. Then marched right downstairs and grabbed a SOBE love those things. MMMMM
So Id say give it a whack if something goes awry you can always see the doc. You seem young enough to where it hasnt got real bad for you yet.
Spend alot of time here if you can and you will not find better support or better people.
I am Soberus Maxus the formerly Max Oblivia.

lulu70

Welcome to SR, Faithful! Glad you found us. There is a sticky at the top of the 'Alcoholism' forum called, "Quitting, what to expect." There is a lot of good info there, and it is very long, which can give you something to do instead of drinking. Hope you will hang out with us for a while and keep posting. This is a great place for support and encouragement.

I look forward to getting to know you better!

Little Missy

Welcome to SR Faithful!! Glad you are here!!

Yes, detoxing can be a rough thing. I'm sorry, but I don't know about tapering off. That was not an option for me. And, I really honestly don't know if it will work. I say that because of our "need" for one more.

It is always a good idea to consult a Dr. regarding detoxing. Drink lots of water or fruit juice, suck on hard candy, as your body will crave the sugars it is no longer getting from the alcohol.

I use to drink 8 -12 beers a night and I didn't have much trouble with detoxing. It is always wise to let others know and keep people close to you in case you need assistance.

Quiting drinking by yourself is very hard. There are a lot of recovery programs out there, not just AA. You may want to check them out and learn all you can about alcoholism!!

Again, welcome!!
Nobody understands an alcoholic, like another alcoholic does!!
Missy

Linda C.

HI Faithful.. Sounds like you have a good plan.. No advice here..

For those of us who are alcoholic our best laid plans failed. And beleive me the list of the things we tried and not only endless but some of them are quite insane.. Many of us also had a LOT of support too.. I drank them all up.. One by one they pulled away..

If your not alcoholic you shouldn't need to worry --- no problem... Just go ahead and drink when you want -- stop when you want.. cut back when you want.

If you find your plans fail and that you might be alcoholic -- we can share our experience with you on that subject..

Let us know how it goes..

Linda C.

Faithful2006

I was very happy to see reply's to my post already!
Thank you Carol for the book recommendations, I'll be sure to check them out!

Thanks for your post Max. Yes I am a planner alright! lol I absolutely would like to see a doctor concerning the elimination of alcohol but unfortunately I don't have that option. With no money coming in at the moment I'm worried about making ends meet. I'm already working at selling on eBay and doing some side computer jobs while looking for work. With going to a doctor not being an option I want to tackle this the most responsible way possible. Even if it requires more dicipline. I'd love to give it a whack going cold turkey, but if it leads to requiring medical attention the results could be devastating to my financial situation. I liked how you spoke of wanting a drink and then reaching for a SOBE! As I mentioned, I've been using my juicer a lot more recently and plan to substitute some very healthy juices in the evening in place of alcohol. In recent months I've been studying health and nutrition and will continue to focus on that as a way of life as opposed to alcohol. We all want to be here as long as we can and there are ways to prolong our lives, and ways to end them prematurely.
Hi Laura-lu, thank you for welcoming me! I've been reading a lot of the sticky's here and I did read the one you mentioned. All of the material is very helpful and it's nice to know that there are so many people going through what I am. This is certainly a good place for support and encouragement!
Hello to you too Little Missy! It was good to hear from you too and I know you are right when you say tapering off may not work well. As I said, right now I'm not sure I have any safe and viable alternative. I think it will require a great deal of dicipline to not have "one more". As this will be my initial approach I would certainly appreciate anyone that will help keep me accountable to that. I will be sure to visit this website often to let others know how I am coming along.
Thanks again everyone for responding so quickly. I'll look forward to getting to know you better!

ASH

Hi Faithful, welcome, glad your here. Cutting down never works for me, but then I tend to be all or nothing when I pick up a glass of anything!
Congrats on your decision to eliminate alcohol,
life is eaiser without all the hassle. When do you plan to finish the taper?
Keep us posted,
Take care

Hope

I'm glad that you found us here and that you made the decision to reach out.
Life is much better when we are aware of what it happening as I have found out.

I'm looking forward to reading more of your posts! Stick around and keep reading and posting.

subliminalurge

Hi Faithful...

Everybody's different, but if I had to take a guess, I'd say that you'd probably be fine quitting cold turkey. You should expect to feel pretty crappy and shaky for the first several days, but I'd be surprised if you experienced any of the dangerous withdrawal symptoms.

I did experience some serious withdrawal symptoms the first time I quit, but I was drinking about 3 times the amount you described per day. The second time I quit I had tapered down to about 15 to 18 drinks per day and got off the hook with just a bad case of the shakes.

The insomnia you describe is a pretty universal experience when people quit drinking. For most folks it passes after a few months, so I wouldn't worry about that too much.

I'm not a doctor, but to be honest I don't think that the amounts you were drinking justify using fear of withdrawals as an excuse to continue drinking.

Faithful2006

Thanks Linda, Ash, Hope4Life, and Sibliminalurge for you postings!

Honestly, I'm not sure if I am an alcoholic or not... As much as I have been drinking (8-12+) and the fact that I do it everyday I figured that I am. I made a few feeble attempts to stop that didn't really go anywhere. I guess this is the first time that I'm making an attempt to totally eliminate it from my life. I guess if my plans fail that will be a good indication that I am an alcoholic.
From reading many of the posts here I came across www.yeastinfectionadvisor.com and read the entire site. This morning I performed the self diagnostic and sure enough, most likely I have candida. I makes sense really... I have many of the symtoms and apparently beer and alcohol are two of the primary causes. Are any of you familiar with this?
Last night I was able to stick to my plan of cutting the amount that I drink in half. I have no more brandy, and refuse to buy hard alcohol any more, so I substitued a small 4 ounce glass of wine. So in total I had 3 beers and the glass of wine... it was strange because even at 2am I could feel that my body didn't want to go to sleep, like it didn't have it's fill yet... I eventually fell asleep without too much trouble, but woke up after only 3.5 hours. For the next hour or so my mind was racing and I couldn't sleep... I didn't have nightmares while sleeping, but when awake everytime I closed my eyes I saw nightmare-like visions... strange... somehow I fell back asleep eventually and woke rested.
I think your advice was good Subliminalurge, I don't want to use a fear of withdrawls as an excuse to continue drinking. Hell, after reading the info on yeastinfectionadvisor.com I really do need to quit completely before I start the other health programs to fight the infection. The drinks that I had last night really didn't do anything for me either. Maybe they helped a bit with getting me to sleep, but not much. The only thing that makes me nervous is that I have had tightness in my chest on and off lately and I also have had heart palpatations since birth. Plus I live alone, so if anything were to happen I would have to be a quick draw on the phone.
Last night wasn't too bad. I think I'll cut back by a little more tonight and see what happens. I really don't have a schedule for finishing the taper, but I will continue to decrease the amount I drink every night and be mindful of my reaction. If I do that I'll have no alcohol in the house in less than a week. If I have no seemingly dangerous withdrawl symtoms during that time I'm certainly not buying anymore alcohol. I'm fine with losing sleep and having the shakes.
I'll let you all know how things work out and thanks for your support!

subliminalurge

Even serious cases of alcohol withdrawal only last a week or so, so if you can make it a week, you're out of the woods as far as dangerous physical reactions go.

Do you have a friend that could stay over for a few nights just in case things get bad? I know I'm telling you that I honestly believe that you'll be just fine, and I do, but the fact remains that withdrawal can be very dangerous if you do develop the serious effects, and it would be good to have someone around. At the very least, keep the phone within arms reach until you're confident that you're out of the woods.

My experience was that things got continually worse for 4 or 5 days, then improved quickly. If you feel hungover the first day and then feel better (not necessarily "good", just better) the next day, then it's probably safe to say you're not going to have anything dangerous going on.

Might want to take it easy on the caffeine for awhile. Coffee made my shakes WAY worse.

OVERIT

I'll share my experience with you. I just got out of detox yesterday. I was drinking at least 24 beers per day, probably double on weekends. I was scared to death to try to detox on my own. Scared of going into withdrawals. I went to the ER twice with my condition. Neither time helped, as they will only admit you if you are suicidal. I also went to my MD for this problem. He prescirbed Libriam for withdrawal. It probably would have worked too, if I had just taken them alone and not with beer. At one of the ER's, they prescribed me lorazepam for withdrawals. That also probably would have worked if not taken with beer. I knew that I needed to go somewhere were beer was not available. The last time that I went to the ER, they called a detox center that has grants available (I, also have no insurance). So, I went to the detox center late on Thursday night and got out yesterday. My blood pressure when I got there was 168/91. They gave me a valium. I did not sleep the entire night on Thursday night. When the nurse came in at 6:00 a.m. to give me another valium, she saw how bad that I was shaking and they ordered me another valium for two hours later. I shook really bad that whole day. I could not hold a cup of coffee and at lunch time, could not get the food to my mouth because of the tremors. I was also very emotional that day and cried most of it. I threw up several times. Could not sleep most of the time that I was there. All part of withdrawal. Their method of detoxing was valium and B1 vitamins. I do feel better physically. Do I still want to drink? Absolutely. But, that is where meetings or intensive outpatient therapy comes in. Please don't try to detox alone, without anyone knowing. It is very dangerous. I read somewhere that 1 out of every 33 people can die from alcohol withdrawal and only 1 out of 1,000 can die from heroin withdrawal. Call some detox centers around you. Most should have grants if you don't have insurance. The five days I was there, everything was absoultely free. Just tell them that you need help. That you don't have insurance or money. They should be able to get you in. There may be a waiting list, but get your name on it.

I truly do know what you are going through and I feel for you. Reach out and let them know how desperate you are.



xoxoxoxoxo



Ang

Faithful2006

Well it's been a couple of weeks and I thought that I would post an update on my progress. When I originally cut back my drinking by half I experienced a lot of sleeplessness and discomfort. I've continued to cut back and now I'm comfortable with only two glasses of wine in the evening. By next week I plan to quit completely and I expect that I'll have some reaction but I should be able to deal with it just fine. While going through this process I have drastically changed my diet from all microwave dinners to fresh food.... yes I'm actually learning to cook! At the same time I am following the Type O yeast infection diet, taking vitamins, and exercising. So far everything has been going according to my plan and hopefully things will continue that way. I do expect it to get harder rather than easier once I completely eliminate the alcohol, but with a better diet, exercise, and the proper nutrition, I think I'm beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Thanks for all your posts and your help. I truely found the information and help that I needed here!

earlybird

Its usually like this............If YOU are wondering about YOUR OWN drinking habits......then you probably have a problem. And only something like 3 % of people who dont go to AA or some other type of support group make it even 6 months. Family support just isnt enough if they dont UNDERSTAND alcoholism. And this "tappering-off" business. That sounds like you want to get sober, but still keep your foot in that door to keep it open 'just in case'. I had been unemployed for about a year and a half when I decided to get sober. I had NO money,....NO insurance,....NO family money to rely on,....but,...like many recovering alcoholics before me, I was finally willing to do 'whatever it takes' to get sober. I called around and got state funding to pay for a months stay at a rehab center,...plus outpatient treatment afterwards. Its out there,....you just have to do the work. Also,..if you are successful at 'tappering off',...well,...then you arent alcoholic. Alcoholics cant monitor their own drinking successfully. Plus,...think about it,....you have this wild, outlandish, schedule of nightly drinks you are going to have. With two shots of this,...diet that.....only one or two times a week.......WHEW!!......Does that sound like someone who ISNT powerless over alcohol, AND whose life HASNT become unmanagable??? Even if by some miracle, this schedule works,....it doesnt mean that alcohol hasnt become an obsession with you. I mean,...making schedules? Normal drinkers dont EVER have to do things like this, because it just isnt an issue. This is kinda gross, but, ya know how when sometimes we may have B.O. and people can smell you, but, you couldnt smell yourself? Then theres OTHER times that even WE can smell ourselves? When THAT happens, its because its REAL BAD. Well, alcoholism is sorta the same principle. If you, yourself, notice it,......then its getting bad.

earlybird

Look into this if you are serious about seeking help. They specialize in getting people help that cannot otherwise afford it. If someone offers an option or advice, and you immediately find yourself thinking of a 'reason that wont work' before even TRYING it, then ,...well,....then it should be obvious even to yourself, that you dont want to quit yet. So ,....the attached web address is my option,..or advice. If they cannot help you,...they will know who can,...or THEY will know who can,..and so on... Dont give up, though.

naturelover

I'm sorry... I have to disagree with this. For nearly 2 years I drank every day. This alcoholic successfully tapered off of what was in the end, 1/2 of a fifth a day. I'm over two weeks completely sober now. I did still have some withdrawal when I went to no alcohol at all, but mostly it was aches and pains in my organs.

Faithful... just wanted to say that even with tapering, you may still experience a bit of discomfort when you totally quit. Good advice given above that someone knows that you're detoxing. Best of luck and blessings to you as you embark on your journey of discovery and recovery.

OVERIT

I am going to be COMPLETELY and TOTALLY honest with you here. I for the past five months have drank 24 to 30 beers a day. When I decided I wanted to quit, I asked my best friend, who also happens to be an RN, if she would help me detox. She said NO WAY. It is too dangerous. (By the way, before that, I was drinking around 18 beers per night). Okay, if my best friend, Nurse RN, said no, then I was too freaking scared to do it by myself. I had tried that "weaning off crap" and that was a joke.

I got honest with myself, my husband and my kids and went to the ER. Of course, in this state at least, unless you are suicidal, they will not admit you. BUT, on the second trip to the ER, at least they put me in touch with a detox center. I have no health insurance at the time, keep in mind. This center had grants.

Anyhoo, skip to the point where I finally entered the detox center. I went in at 10:45 P.M.. My blood pressure was 168 over 91 (my normal pressure used to be 120 over70). They admitted me on Thursday night. They started me on a valium/vitamin B treatment that night. I did not sleep at all. When the nurse came in at 6:00 a.m. to take my vitals and give me my medicine, I had DT's so bad that she was scared for me. She ordered the next shift to give me more medicine ASAP. They did give me more medicine, but still I could not sleep. I went to the "dayroom" and got some coffee. I could not even get the freakin cup to my lips because I was trembling so bad. I will NEVER forget these two young guys that were in there with me. I will call them J & J. They could NOT get over how bad I was shaking. They even offered to help me drink my coffee. I puked about six times from the time I was admitted until about twelve hours later. They "made" me go to lunch that day (Friday) and I got my tray and my drink and I was shakining so freaking bad, that I could not even get more fork to my mouth. I was sitting at the table with the nurses that were on call. They offered to HELP ME EAT!!!!!!!!!

THAT IS HOW BAD I WAS COMING OFF OF 24 TO 30 BEERS A DAY.


Okay?

I don't want to surgarcoat it. I wanted to dextox myself too, but I was scared ********. My BEST FRIEND RN, refused my request. Had I not gone to detox, I am SURE I would have had seizures.

The choice is up to you.


I wish you all the best.

I really do.

I am not trying to scare you, I am just trying to be honest.

If you ever need me, I am here ALL of the time, PM me.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.


xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo





Ang



Edited to Add: J & J were in for heroin and cocaine addiction and their withdrawals were nothing as bad as mine. Granted, they may have had more meds, but they were amazed at me.

I read somewhere, that 1 in 33 alcoholics die from withdrawal compared to 1 in 1,000 heroin addicts from withdrawal.

OVERIT

P.S. ~~~~~~~~ Just so you would know, not that it would make any difference, but I am a married woman, mother of two. I drive a SUV with a freaking soccer ball on the side.

That to say, we come in all shapes and sizes, man, woman, white, black or confetti. We are alcoholics or addicts. Whatever, the case may be. It does not matter. If you need help, screw anybody or anything that gets in your way and get it!!!!!!!

I really am NOT trying to be mean. I am just speaking from experience. Because, I KNOW, if I had NOT got help, I would be dead.

Once again, you are in my thoughts and prayers.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo


Ang

earlybird

Ya know,...anytime anyone talks about the 'general rule',...there is always someone who totally misses that part and goes "thats not true!" and starts telling you their story or about some friend they know who did it....Look,...there are ALWAYS exceptions to the rule. Ive heard of a guy who fell 13 stories and lived. Would you use HIS story as to why YOU would make it if you jumpled? As a general rule, its impossible to tapper off when you have a drinking problem. Thats what the "3%" part of my last post meant. Because you did it,...means others should try it rather than seek professional help? Come on......

And by the way,...I said that ones that tapper off or try to detox by themselves as a general rule dont make it past 5 or 6 months. No offense,...and I hope you make it,...but, you just said you have only been sober for two weeks. Thats great, no get me wrong, you should be proud as hell of yourself, but, you havent disproved me so far. Ask yourself this question. Why am I trying to NOT go to a detox center? Why am I NOT trying to go to AA? Usually its the diseases way of thinking still ruling the brain. This disease puts those thoughts in our heads to insure failure. To ensure that we go back to the bottle. We NEED support from those who 'get it'. And "sober-sally" that we've dated for 2 years just doesnt 'get it'. Only and I mean ONLY,..other alcoholics 'GET IT'. And THAT is NOT a general rule, that IS the rule.