janeeyre

Molly,

Hey, I've done the exact same thing before. Around Christmastime I found one of those little bottles of Bailey's out in our garage, and rather than just throwing it away I drank it.

The important thing is to learn from it; What "self-talk" went through your mind when you found the wine before you decided to open it? Why did you decide to go ahead and drink it? How did you feel while you were drinking it? How did you feel afterward? Was it worth it? Just write down whatever you can about it, learn what you can, and move on. And whatever you do, don't beat yourself up about it!

You've made HUGE progress since you first showed up here at SR, and I'm glad you're sticking around. Keep it up, girl!

Hugs,
Jane

spacegirl

Thanks Jane, I don't remember seeing this post before. I don't know about 'self-talk' to be honest. I think I just hurried to drink it quick before I gave myself time to talk myself out of it. I 'wanted' it and I didn't want to give myself time to talk myself out of it or it would take my chance of drinking it away.

I felt lousy while I was drinking it. I knew with every mouthful that I would hate myself more each drop of it. It reminded me of that saying about alcoholics.

One is too many and a thousand not enough.

I knew exactly what that meant at that time. That one bottle wasn't enough and as the level in the bottle got lower I started to feel anxious that it would be gone soon and I wouldn't have anymore. It was too much because of the power it had over me and yet if I drank it a thousand times over it wouldn't be enough because as soon as it was gone it would make me need more. I'm probably rambling. I hope it makes some kind of sense what I mean.

It's been a few weeks now tho so I'm almost getting addicted to all those fruit tea's lined up across the kitchen worktop!

I'd recommend them to anyone. Maybe it's psychological but I go into the kitchen and can make a choice of 'what shall I drink?' All the choice! I can drink anything and know that it's doing my body good! What a novelty! Green tea, Strawberry tea, Lemon tea, Apple tea, normal tea, coffee, St.Johns Wort tea... It feels a bit luxurious to have so much choice of what shall I drink and I think it might be some kind of psychological trick that makes me feel less deprived.

I'm ashamed to admit that I can't remember who said this for sure (but I have an idea who he is! ) that they were told 'The only thing we can't do is drink alcohol - that leaves a hell of a lot of things that we can do' The tea thing reminds me of that quote in a funny sort of way.

Molly: Has no shares, stocks or other financial interest in tea's of any variety - honest!

thanks again Jane - for everything!

Sugasnaps

Molly, I am so glad you came back. I think one of our hardest things is to not berate ourselves when we succumb to the alcoholism inside us. Don't get me wrong, I totally am for self-responsibility and realizing our own mistakes and learning from them. What I see in you tho is you do have that... AND you aren't turning your backside black and blue in the process. I'm so glad to see that and it is a good sign in my opinion. That shows that you really are caring about yourself and this slip is just a step in your recovery journey. Take what you have learned and move forward! So hang in there Ms. Nottinghamshire!

**{hugs}}

Suga

Max Oblivia

Max looking in the mirror talking to himself.
Focus on the good things that are happening to me when I feel down remember the good things that have happend and dream of the future good things that are going to happen.
Ok I feel better now.
Famous Max Quote.
Whhhuuuppeeeeee
Had to let it out.
Yipeeeeeee
Built up again.
Yeeeeeehaaaaaaaeeeeehhhaaaaa
Ok Im fine....!!!
Max

spacegirl

I'd rather spend time with you guys than ever drink. I don't mean it's easy but when I giggle like a kid at what you post, then I know where I would rather be.

XXX