qqq

well let me just jump right into this . i have been married to my husband for 4 years and have come to the conclusion that he is pretty much an alcoholc.. we have a two year old little boy and i am starting to get really frustrated with his constant drinking.i think about leaving him alot lately because i dont want to live this way.i have tried to talk to him about it many many times now i am just feeling like i want to give up on him.. he is the father of my son and i really want him around for him and for me but often i feel like beer is the most important thing to him.. i really dont know what to do ? i want to feel important and i want to feel like we have some kind of relationship. there is no intamacy left in our relationship any more, i think his friends know more about him now then i do. i could go on an on about it but i dont know what to do , thats my main issue .. to top it off his father passed away in early december. when his father was sick he drank really heavily and he knew it botherd me . he had said to me that it wont be like this forever when his father passes it will change he wants to get better and he wont drink as much .. sorry but that has not changed a bit.. he still drinks just as much .. i fear that he is putting himself into more of a deprssion by drinking all the time he is not really lettin himself morn ..any how i need some helpful advice before i lose my mind and my husband.. anybody that has suggestion or advice for me , im here and need help..

Sugasnaps

Welcome to SR qqq.

If your husband is an alcoholic (sounds like it) then nothing you do will change him. He is the only one who can make the choice to do something about it. Until he's ready he will use every single excuse in the book and make up a few of his own for reasons to continue to drink. I am an alcoholic and I have been there. I'm sure sorry you are going through this. Have you checked into Al-Anon at all? Check the Friends and Family of Alcoholics forum. Lots of people there can give you some great advice.

Hang in there,

Suga

Five

Firstly, how very sad your situation sounds. Its a horrible thing to see that happen to a couple! Many people use what is called Alanon. I also know that there are many books out there for this perticular issue. We also have a Friends and Family Forum. Even just sticking around here at SR will be a help - people here are only too keen to get through tricky spots together. I hope you stick around!

1_day@_a_time

Alcohol will do amazing things, to a person and a family. Especially challenging if you are on the outside looking in, wondering how, why?

Everyone's bottom is different. What you can do is help ourself, to understand, it's not your fault.

Ala-non is an amazing support group. For you, and your child, get involved.

While a man, I can relate to your story. Alcohol took a toll on my family.

Coping skills and tools for life. It works, if ya' work it!

Hope you stick around!

stillbitter

My wife could've written this.

I've been an alcoholic for 13 years, 6 of those with my wife, who left me three weeks ago because of my drinking. All I was left with was my addiction, pain, guilt and self loathing. I have been sober for six days and know if I go back, I'll never have her again. Funny thing is-she told me how it would end, but I always had empty promises and excuses for her. We talked today and there is hope for us, but that hope will be gone if I drink. I also have two young children with her. She used to say she was tired of being second to a beverage, and I'd laugh it off, but at that point she was right. I hope for your family's sake, he quits. Sugasnaps is exactly right, nothing you do will change him, it's up to him. I'll pray for you and your family, and I empathize-I've put my family through the same thing.

Take care

Chris