dixielove

I'm physically, emotionally, and spiritually beaten down now and I really need some inspiration to hold on to. I need to see that it will get better.
I'm in a really dark place right now and I'm struggling. It is hard to be patient when one feels so horrible, but I need some hope or some words to keep pushing me forward.


Please share experience, strength, and hope..or just anything at all that might help to uplift me today.
Please.

LeighC

Dixielove,
I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time. You will be in my prayers.
LeighC

c'est la vie

Dixie,
I can't tell you anything about what's on the other side, but I'll hold your hand and we can jump into sobriety together. I just came about as clean as I can with my husband despite all my fears of what's to come and I'm ready to take the plunge. I need to live life sober. You can too. I'm sure life isn't going to all of a sudden be perfect, but it's got to be better than seeing everything blurry all the time.

Come on and join me! I'm on day 5 now, you're not too late to join the party.

Justme57

Hey Dixie

So sorry you are feeling Blah! but WL is right , you can do this with support . We are here for you , and I think I read in another thread that you have been an AA person, can you get to a meeting for some support?

Hang in there girl, you CAN do it

HUGX
Lee

Blake

It does get better, at least it has for me.

Early recovery is a real bitch, but it eventually gets different.

I suggest you get to a meeting ASAP...that's where I found my hope...

Sugasnaps

Hi Dixielove,

I'm sending major hugs your way ****{hugs}}}

That darkness is sucky where you are at right now but just like there's air surrounding you so is the support of everyone here on SR. All our best wishes are right there in that room with you. With every breath you take is a new opportunity for change and every single tick of the clock brings with it endless possibilities. I'm really glad you got on SR to post your feelings cuz that all by itself says you aren't giving up on you. You are still reaching out and that is sometimes a hard thing to do when you are feeling down. You can do it Dixie.

Hang in there

Suga

dixielove

Thanks for the caring and kindness.

Why do I feel so physically worn out? I just feel weak... barely able to move.
I'm doing to get me something to eat now...... I have at least been getting food down.

Sugasnaps

Dixie, Your body is adjusting I think... give it some time and some TLC. Hang in there.

Someone posted this for me one day when I was feeling low... it made me crack a grin so I hope it does for you too.



Be good to yourself!

Suga

dixielove

Thanks for that pic Suga!
That was the only thing that made me smile today, lol.

I just ate 3 turkey subs... I had not ate too much the last few days and when I started eating , I felt like a bottomless pit. That is making up for the days when I didn't put any solid food in my body. At least I know that I am taking care of myself now and that is one thing that makes me feel good.
I just wish this withdrawal stuff had a fast forward button that took me right to a day when I felt good.

Right now, at this moment , it feels like I'm never going to feel good again. Withdrawals can really feel like an eternity. I want to keep this stuff in my mind so I can be careful to avoid the same mistakes.

This is the last time i want to go through this.. it is so hard.
My body is just give out...

and I have a job so that makes it so much harder. I'll be ok though. I hope I feel better tomorrow. If I don't use, then I have to feel better one day.. at least I'm using that logic now.

dixielove

Oh yeah, and my head feels like it is crushing itself or something like a million monkies doing a dance in there. My head just feels.... weird.
I think I just feel weird, lol.

Dude, I can't believe that I just ate 3 turkey subs!!!??!!!

dixielove

I can't believe that I put myself through that. When I first joined this site, I was having a problem with binging every 2 or 3 months. It progressed from that to a week long drinking / drug binge... I dont want it to progress more than that.
I don't want to die from the stuff. My life is too important to be throwing at an evil thing like that... just hoping that I feel better soon... I guess I will one day.

Kellye C

Dixie, I know that withdrawals are horrible! What got me through was telling myself if I could just make it through I didn't EVER have to go through it again unless I CHOSE to. I remember well the binges followed by puking for days and diarrhea as my body tried to get all that poison out. I remember the shaking and sweating, heart racing, feeling like I was gonna die. I pretty much went through that on a daily basis at the end until I could get home and get some booze in. It got so bad at the end where I would sneak out at lunch to get something just to get me through til I got off work. It was horrible!

Today I'm almost 18 months sober (in one more week!!!). It is a miracle how much better I feel and look. Gone is the bloated, off color skin and replaced by a rosy glow and an intelligent light in my eyes instead of a hangover droopy, wish I was dead look that became my everyday look.

It gets better girl, each day is a little bit better. I promise. The fact that you can eat is good. Try a tablespoon of honey or a glass of orange juice when you start feeling really bad. Better yet, a bowl of ice cream. You'll be surprised at how that can make you feel somewhat human again. Pamper yourself, long baths, candlelight, soothing music etc. and most of all remember: THIS TOO SHALL PASS!!!!

One day you will use this experience to help another newcomer coming in thinking they are gonna die. You can show them that you got through it and so can they. That's what this is all about!

Hugs,
Kellye