garsh

I am on day 13 of sobriety (alcohol). My husband is very supportive, but the rollercoaster ride of emotions is taking its toll. One day I'm happy the next I'm anxious and depressed and just irritable. I've lashed out at him for no reason, and can't even find the energy to apologize. How can I explain something to him I can't even understand myself? I love him so much, but I feel like I have to be selfish and do whatever I need to right now. I don't want to hurt his feelings or push him away, but that seems to be all I'm doing. Can anyone help?

openforhelp

I think you could exercise a little and love a lot.

garsh

Well, I already exercise a little and love a lot. That alone doesn't seem to be doing the trick.

Justme57

Hi there garsh

Sorry you are having such a hard time .

You got it right tho, you do have to do what is right for you to stay sober, only you can do it .

At the risk of harping, may I suggest that you do give AA a ring ? this is where it is so helpful to have someone else to talk to when you feel like this. it is good to talk to someone who understands completely how you feel, and it would probably defuse the situation with your husband

Just an idea.

HUGX
Lee

garsh

You know, I just posted a thread in the AA forum. The reason I haven't attended is that in the Bay Area there are so many all with different names. Are there different types of meetings?? I'm afraid I'll walk into one only meant for transgender Asians who love to garden. I don't mean to joke, but seriously, all the meetings have names like Singleness of Purpose; Sunday Serentiy; 12 Step Study Group; Courage to Change; Sharing Choices- I could go on and on. The only one I found that specifically said Newcomers is held an hour away from me at a time I cannot attend.

buhda

Welcome Garsh I go to 7 or 8 AAmeeting a week and have never had a problem fitting in there are diffrent kind of meetings there are book meetings where you study the books and discusion meetings where you discuss topics and then there are lead meetings where someone shares there expirience strength and hope about what it was like and what is it like now..I dont know about diffrent gender meetings or anything in that manner i would call your local inter office of AA i am sure you can find it online and ask questions i spend time at ours here and we give all that kind of information they also can give you a idea on good meetings in your area i hope this helps sorry its so choppy but i am talking to a lady on the phone who is also having some problems of somewhat the same sort pm me if you need more info congratulations on your days!!!

Linda C.

HI Garsh...
You cannot fix each other - NO WAY... You cannot expect a normal person to understand alcoholism.. Only another alcoholic can do that. Nor can he expect you to see his side of things.. Both of you have problems -- Neither of you are taking any action to make it better...

So... continuing on as you both are -- don't expect anything to change. It will just continue as it is and get worse..

Simply solution for both of you.. You get to AA.. He gets to Alanon.. You both can heal and the relationship might be saved.. OR -- don't do anything and expect nothing. ..

Its all up to you..

Linda C.

jbm125

Hi Garsh and welcome. Congratulations on `13 days. You can contact your local inter group and get a directory that lists all the meetings in your area with info about gay meetings, smoking meetings, handicapped accessible etc. Also asking your other half to go to AlAnon would be a good idea. He'd learn a lot about the disease and what's going on with you right now. Meanwhile if you haven't already have a long talk with him and explain that it isn't easy and it doesn't always go smoothly but if you put in the work it won't be long before he thinks you're the sober person he can deal with.
God bless