Meat

I have been monitoring this site for about a week and thought I would address the forum with what I've been going through. Please forgive me if my thoughts are poorly organized as i am not used to talking about this or these forums. Here goes:

1. I have been drinking heavily since i was about 16 approx 18 years
2. I don't know if it was a problem for all of those years however, thinking back i don't remember a single holiday, ski trip, rafting trip, or hunt that wasn't somehow hindered by excessive drinking
3. Anxiety / depression is common within my family and i have been treated but am not being treated now with the usual.
4. alcoholism is also common on my fathers side of the family
5. I have become concerned most recently because i no longer feel as though i can behave in a social manner without embarrassing myself. the worst part of this is i feel terribly embarrassed until i have a drink - then i have a drink - then several more and wake up the next morning begging my fiance' to tell me i didn't embarrass myself or hurt anyone's feelings.
6. I often go several days without drinking but eventually go back to binges which usually last the common 3 day bender
7. This weekend i went on a hunt trip with some friends that are very heavy drinkers with the vow to drink moderately - i achieved this in spite of the ridicule i received from the enablers
8. i agree with those readers who think that i should stop. however, i am in sales and expected to entertain customers. This entertainment usually involves drinking in restaurants, nudie bars, golf courses (golf is a real bad trigger for heavy drinking for me), and upscale bars.
9. I have considered AA but i am not a religious person and i really don't think that, that route will suite me

Anyway, I've rambled long enough for now - thanks for reading - any suggestions, empathy, or questions will be greatly appreciated.

In memory of miracle

Welcome Meat! You have found a great place for help and support.Glad your here.

Justme57

Any hunting trip involving alcahol seems fraught with danger !

AA is not religious, why not attend a few meetings and see for yourself.

Entertaining can be achieved without consuming alcahol

Alcaholism is a progressive disease, I tried to "control" it for 37 years without sucess

Only YOU can take action

HUGX
Lee

doorknob

My feelings exactly, and I've been to quite a few meetings. There are some alternatives.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...nfo-76726.html

Welcome to SR!

DK

ASH

Hi Meat, glad you here, SR is a great place for information and support.
Oh, for me to go back and end my drinking career after the first socially embarrasing moment, or blackout at a social, or worse business event. The morning after I also would beg people, or slyly ask about my behavior the previous evening. I would feel so lost, depressed, and pathetic, I mean, to be asking someone else what I said and did? These were some of my lowest moments and huge motivation to stop. Unbelievable it took years of this for me to realize the party was long since over.
You say your concerned, but didnt mention if your thinking of stopping.
Whatever you decide, I hope SR will be a help to you.
Take care

raerob

It really bothers me that AA/NA get such a bad rap...just because there is some mention of God or a Higher Power!?! These are not religious organizations!!!
PLEASE try some meetings...with an open mind...and judge for yourself.

Believe it or not, not everbody in the world imbibes. There are lots of reasons folks must stay away from alcohol (i.e., diabetes, medications, allergic reactions, etc.) If you really want to quit, there are ways to explain away not participating in the insanity...and, seeing what the others look like while you're stone cold sober, will probably be an added incentive to stay sober.

Meat

it will be great getting to know you folks as well.

i will be offline the rest of the evening but will be checking back in the morning for additional replies.

Ash,
We seem to have had similiar conversations. I am considering quitting. however, i am afraid of how it will effect me career wise. Though, there are some but very few customers who care to see me drink myself stupid. Wish I could find a way to be able to drink socially without going to the dark side. Lately sticking to beer seems to be a bandaid. Though i know it is not a solution becuase the first scotch turns into a dozen.

Thanks Again

ASH

Meat, you might want to try it, you might be surprised by the effect. You can always give it a 30 day trial and if you dont want to talk about it tell people you are on medication and its Dr. orders.
I am no longer in the job that "made me" drink (hahaha). But I do have to admit when I stoped drinking I was absolutly amazed at how many people did not drink at all, espically as they get older and a bit wiser and recognized the health hazzards.
In any event it cant be too good for your career to be drinking too much with customers? it sure wasnt for mine.
Glad your here exploring alternatives,
Take care

CarolD

Welcome Meat!

Congratulations for seeking answers to your drinking.

Alcoholism is a disease. I suggest you get more factual info

My favorite 'handbook' is "Under The Influence"
and it has a sequel..."Beyond The Influence"

Both can be ordered from Amazon...less than I spent on a nights drinking!

Glad to see a new member...we do understand and you are not alone.

Blessings...

raerob

Water seeks its own level...so, it's not surprising that heavy drinkers (i.e., alcoholics) seem to gravitate towards those who drink the same way...maybe, even worse...that way you don't look so bad by comparison!

Meat

thanks guys

I will check out the resources you have mentioned

Ash and raerob, you are both probably correct in assuming that both my career path and the customers i call on my have been consciously or unconsciously chosen to support my desire to drink excessively.

I am seriously considering taking the month off to see if i am any happier. If nothing else it will make my workouts more effective and possibly make the spring activities more enjoyable.

Thanks for all your help - I'm 2 days off today and haven't gotten drunk in over a week let's see how it goes for another 28 days.

raerob

That's a great start, Meat! I notice your location is "Wishville"...well, wishing won't necessarily make it so...but, patience and perseverance work wonders. Good Luck!

na4today

I agree with Raerob about 12 steps getting a bad rap. You don't have to believe in God. It is a spiritual, not religous program. Your higher power can be anything you want it to be. We have an atheist in our group and his version of God is the group and that is his higher power. You should go and see how it is.

Meat

It's not the God part that bothers me as much as the Higher Power idea. I appreciate the help and concern but for now that will not be the direction I turn.

Thanks

doorknob

Does he pray to the group for them to remove his defects? If it's not religious, then why the religious language? For me, it is just the overall flavor, call it religious or spiritual, it still is theistic in nature. Many people feel that way. That doesn't mean it gets a bad rap. What's bad about it? It is what it is, and it speaks to many people. For myself, I don't relate. And I've gone and tried to fit my beliefs into that cookie cutter many times, hoping I would somehow feel differently about what was and is the only f2f resource I have. But you know what they say about trying the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. But chances are, at some point, I'll probably try it again, for lack of any alternative.

DK

ASH

Good for you, a 30 day commitment to being sober is significant,
please do keep checking in and let us know how you are doing,
All the best!

Meat

It's been three days without a drop and I am damn hyperactive - i am also extremely irritable. Is this normal or am i just dealing with the problems i treat with booze?

Thanks

doorknob

Both of the above! Awesome job Meat!

DK

doorknob

Withdrawal Symptoms:

Mild to moderate psychological symptoms:

* Feeling of jumpiness or nervousness
* Feeling of shakiness
* Anxiety
* Irritability or easily excited
* Emotional volatility, rapid emotional changes
* Depression
* Fatigue
* Difficulty with thinking clearly
* Bad dreams

Mild to moderate physical symptoms:

* Headache - general, pulsating
* Sweating, especially the palms of the hands or the face
* Nausea
* Vomiting
* Loss of appetite
* Insomnia, sleeping difficulty
* Paleness
* Rapid heart rate (palpitations)
* Eyes, pupils different size (enlarged, dilated pupils)
* Skin, clammy
* Abnormal movements
o Tremor of the hands
o Involuntary, abnormal movements of the eyelids

http://alcoholism.about.com/cs/withdraw/a/aa030307a.htm

ASH

Hi Meat,
How has the rest of day three been going for you?