Welcome Mom. I too am the mother of an addict, and sadly there is nothing you nor I can do to make our sons stop. Only they can do that when they are ready. All the love in the world, all the crying, begging and anger...just won't do it.
There is hope for our sons, addicts do recovery and miracles happen every day. But in the meantime we just wait and pray.
Please feel free to post your story on the Nar-Anon forum here, go to the main page and scroll down several forums. There are many moms there who have been where you are, and many non-moms who also have loved ones who are addicted and who understand.
I'm glad you found us, and hope you will join us on our journey through recovery.
__________________ Live your joy,
Go against the grain.
Don’t be made timid by worried rejection.
Let nature’s curious wisdom fill you.
Let the world’s mystical heritage guide you.
Paint your canvasses,
play your tunes.