God Help Me
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Atlanta,GA
Posts: 9
God Help Me
I don't really know where to starts guys.
My name is Franklin and i've been known amongst my co-workers at the Grant Park Pizza Station as "Mr.PartyStarter" (hence my screen name
).
Anyways. The reason i decided to seek help was solely based on what transpired at the company christmas function about 2 weeks back.
I GOT CRUNK.
On average i ingest 3 to 4 vodka tonics in the morning followed by several pitchers of pabst blue ribbon while working and finish it off with a healthy smattering of Pineapple Juice and Bacardi 151 for night. THis is my daily routine. However in celebration of our Saviour's birthday, i took it upon myself to drink twice my daily intake. Besides, i am Mr.Party Starter. I had to start the party.
So i arrive at the house of the fiesta after weaving thru Atlanta traffic and barely avoiding playing chlidren and pets. I stumble inside and make a b-line straight to the drinks. Everything was going smooth for awhile. The girls love Mr.Party Starter. They think i'm so funny, and I am.. so that's nothing. I had the ladies swooning while i stood atop the dining room table in my wifebeater and clucked like a bardyard chicken. I was on fire that night.
Anyways. THinks got blurry around midnight. The crowd was thinning but I didn't have to go to work till 11AM and was rearing for more party. I vaguely remember trying to entice some of the ladies to renvendous at my house for a little afterparty
but sadly, it was not meant to be.
I woke a little after 4AM face down on the grass a few blocks from the house. Covered in a foul smelling mixture of urine,vomit and miller high life. My face was swollen and my front tooth horribly chipped. According to one of my co-workers, around 12:30 i was getting pretty unruly and was demanding sex from the remaining women. Apparently i loudly proclaimed.
"IF YOU DIRTY *****S WON'T DROP YOUR PANTIES THEN I'LL TAKE OUT MY LOVE ON THE DOG"
and proceeded to molest Precious, the adorable house Doberman. I tried to mount the dog in a drunken stupor and was beaten off the animal and beaten into the street.
GOD HELP ME.
My name is Franklin and i've been known amongst my co-workers at the Grant Park Pizza Station as "Mr.PartyStarter" (hence my screen name
).Anyways. The reason i decided to seek help was solely based on what transpired at the company christmas function about 2 weeks back.
I GOT CRUNK.
On average i ingest 3 to 4 vodka tonics in the morning followed by several pitchers of pabst blue ribbon while working and finish it off with a healthy smattering of Pineapple Juice and Bacardi 151 for night. THis is my daily routine. However in celebration of our Saviour's birthday, i took it upon myself to drink twice my daily intake. Besides, i am Mr.Party Starter. I had to start the party.
So i arrive at the house of the fiesta after weaving thru Atlanta traffic and barely avoiding playing chlidren and pets. I stumble inside and make a b-line straight to the drinks. Everything was going smooth for awhile. The girls love Mr.Party Starter. They think i'm so funny, and I am.. so that's nothing. I had the ladies swooning while i stood atop the dining room table in my wifebeater and clucked like a bardyard chicken. I was on fire that night.
Anyways. THinks got blurry around midnight. The crowd was thinning but I didn't have to go to work till 11AM and was rearing for more party. I vaguely remember trying to entice some of the ladies to renvendous at my house for a little afterparty
but sadly, it was not meant to be.I woke a little after 4AM face down on the grass a few blocks from the house. Covered in a foul smelling mixture of urine,vomit and miller high life. My face was swollen and my front tooth horribly chipped. According to one of my co-workers, around 12:30 i was getting pretty unruly and was demanding sex from the remaining women. Apparently i loudly proclaimed.
"IF YOU DIRTY *****S WON'T DROP YOUR PANTIES THEN I'LL TAKE OUT MY LOVE ON THE DOG"
and proceeded to molest Precious, the adorable house Doberman. I tried to mount the dog in a drunken stupor and was beaten off the animal and beaten into the street.
GOD HELP ME.
Cruelty-Free
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Body: South Florida Heart: Yosemite National Park
Posts: 914
He will, just keep asking
Yikes...
Sounds like it's time for the party to end.
Any chance you might go and share that story at a local AA meeting? I bet they'd be interested to hear it and might be able to offer you a suggestion or two about how to make some positive changes that'll keep you off the lawn and sober.
Or I guess you could go try and apologize to Precious, but she might not let you off quite so easily this time...
Sounds like it's time for the party to end.
Any chance you might go and share that story at a local AA meeting? I bet they'd be interested to hear it and might be able to offer you a suggestion or two about how to make some positive changes that'll keep you off the lawn and sober.
Or I guess you could go try and apologize to Precious, but she might not let you off quite so easily this time...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Melbourne victoria
Posts: 1,975
Well mr Party starter, I can understand you reaching out for help, been there done that , minus the dog !
For me, the begining of my sobriety began by ringing AA. help was there, the person I spoke to fully understood what I was feeling, and I havent looked back.
it has required a lot of work and action from me, but has been infinitely worth it. I now have 26 months sobriety and a totally different lifestyle, oh by the way, I also have the respect of my friends and collegues
HUGX
Lee
For me, the begining of my sobriety began by ringing AA. help was there, the person I spoke to fully understood what I was feeling, and I havent looked back.
it has required a lot of work and action from me, but has been infinitely worth it. I now have 26 months sobriety and a totally different lifestyle, oh by the way, I also have the respect of my friends and collegues
HUGX
Lee
Cruelty-Free
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Body: South Florida Heart: Yosemite National Park
Posts: 914
Originally Posted by Mr.PartyStarter
now i am teased relentlessly and been given the name "Puppy Love".
Trust me, it'd be much better to be known as "Franklin the Recovering Alcoholic".
Does make one wonder.Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Atlanta,GA
Posts: 9
Originally Posted by michski
This sounds like a joke to me... If not then this guy's a legend in his own mind.
I've tried to apologize to my co-worker and Precious' owner several times but he just grits his teeth and clenches his fist and calls me "Dog ******". I've heard from mutual friends that he is planning to "break my jaw" for tormenting precious.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Melbourne victoria
Posts: 1,975
Well, Mr party Starter, the solution lies with you .
You can choose to live with the humiliation, or to change, and change comes from work, and committment to recovery.
Keep doing what you are doing, and you will keep getting what you are getting.
Lee
You can choose to live with the humiliation, or to change, and change comes from work, and committment to recovery.
Keep doing what you are doing, and you will keep getting what you are getting.
Lee
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Atlanta,GA
Posts: 9
Originally Posted by Justme57
Well, Mr party Starter, the solution lies with you .
You can choose to live with the humiliation, or to change, and change comes from work, and committment to recovery.
Keep doing what you are doing, and you will keep getting what you are getting.
Lee
You can choose to live with the humiliation, or to change, and change comes from work, and committment to recovery.
Keep doing what you are doing, and you will keep getting what you are getting.
Lee
Christ i need medicine.
Cruelty-Free
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Body: South Florida Heart: Yosemite National Park
Posts: 914
Originally Posted by Mr.PartyStarter
Is this a grammar forum or a place to seek help?
If you still don't see any...
...read 'em again.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Atlanta,GA
Posts: 9
WHY IN THE HALLOWED HALLS OF HEAVEN WOULD I WANT TO GO TO AN A.A MEETING AND BE SUBJECTED TO HOWLS OF LAUGHTER AND THE SAME OPRESSING INSUFFERABLE JUDGEMENT THAT I'VE BEEN SUBJECTED TO HERE AND AT MY WORKPLACE?
I'm sorry i came here. I really thought that i'd have a proverbial shoulder to weep upon. All i get is the same snide commentary that i recieve daily from the kitchen staff. Why can't they understand that what i did was done under the crippling control of spirits? Okay i tried to engage in carnage behavior with a dog. Get over it. Hardy har. Franklin the dog rapist. Ha Ha. Laugh it up Bucko. After the laughter comes tears. Salty tears that burn the eye and sear the mind. I'm in personal purgatory. Private Hades. I want to take this boxcutter that's across from my PC and run it across my throat. No more mockery. No more pain.
I'm sorry i came here. I really thought that i'd have a proverbial shoulder to weep upon. All i get is the same snide commentary that i recieve daily from the kitchen staff. Why can't they understand that what i did was done under the crippling control of spirits? Okay i tried to engage in carnage behavior with a dog. Get over it. Hardy har. Franklin the dog rapist. Ha Ha. Laugh it up Bucko. After the laughter comes tears. Salty tears that burn the eye and sear the mind. I'm in personal purgatory. Private Hades. I want to take this boxcutter that's across from my PC and run it across my throat. No more mockery. No more pain.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: New Focus
Posts: 687
Originally Posted by Mr.PartyStarter
The reason i decided to seek help was solely based on what transpired at the company christmas function about 2 weeks back.
GOD HELP ME.
GOD HELP ME.
Welcome to SR, glad you found us, this is a great place for support and information.
Sounds like a nightmare evening and you can bet it will continue until you decide you have had enough and what to quit drinking.
SR is a great start, but you may want to consider AA, (you will find you will not be judged), and possibly a detox, you dont mention if you are still drinking?
Turning things around is simple, dont drink, (thats the wisdom), but it is tough and involves commitment and work.
Take Care
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: California
Posts: 972
(((( Mr. Party Starter )))))
I gotta say you definitely have a way with words. All you gotta say when you go to an AA meeting is "hello my name is Mr PS and I'm a drunk"
You can tell em all you've been known to rape a dog while under the influence if you want to. It's up to you.
I knew a guy who tried it with chickens while under the influence. I told him I really didn't need to hear that part. I wasn't surprised when he moved to Honduras.
I gotta say you definitely have a way with words. All you gotta say when you go to an AA meeting is "hello my name is Mr PS and I'm a drunk"
You can tell em all you've been known to rape a dog while under the influence if you want to. It's up to you.
I knew a guy who tried it with chickens while under the influence. I told him I really didn't need to hear that part. I wasn't surprised when he moved to Honduras.
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
Originally Posted by Mr.PartyStarter
WHY IN THE HALLOWED HALLS OF HEAVEN WOULD I WANT TO GO TO AN A.A MEETING AND BE SUBJECTED TO HOWLS OF LAUGHTER AND THE SAME OPRESSING INSUFFERABLE JUDGEMENT THAT I'VE BEEN SUBJECTED TO HERE AND AT MY WORKPLACE?
I'm sorry i came here. I really thought that i'd have a proverbial shoulder to weep upon. All i get is the same snide commentary that i recieve daily from the kitchen staff. Why can't they understand that what i did was done under the crippling control of spirits? Okay i tried to engage in carnage behavior with a dog. Get over it. Hardy har. Franklin the dog rapist. Ha Ha. Laugh it up Bucko. After the laughter comes tears. Salty tears that burn the eye and sear the mind. I'm in personal purgatory. Private Hades. I want to take this boxcutter that's across from my PC and run it across my throat. No more mockery. No more pain.
I'm sorry i came here. I really thought that i'd have a proverbial shoulder to weep upon. All i get is the same snide commentary that i recieve daily from the kitchen staff. Why can't they understand that what i did was done under the crippling control of spirits? Okay i tried to engage in carnage behavior with a dog. Get over it. Hardy har. Franklin the dog rapist. Ha Ha. Laugh it up Bucko. After the laughter comes tears. Salty tears that burn the eye and sear the mind. I'm in personal purgatory. Private Hades. I want to take this boxcutter that's across from my PC and run it across my throat. No more mockery. No more pain.
Ahhh,
there are some things we should only share with the God of our understanding and a sponser.
I'm not going to judge you for anything you put on here. People are human and do pass judgement on others. AA doesn't have a lock on this though.
Your behavior sounded to be a little out of control.
I'd like to live my life today like my grand daughters were watching. If, I'm doing something that they'd be ashamed of me for, I'd better curtail my activities
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Anywhere,USA
Posts: 511
I'd like to welcome you to SR and tell you that there is a way to feel better...
That will come from being in control of your actions and by not continuing to get yourself into such a state of not being able to control your behavior.
We have all done things while under the influence that we're not proud of and need to make amends for..
You can quit drinking one day at a time...
The program of AA can give you the tools to learn to live a new life sober.
It is not necessary to walk into your first meeting and share that information with the whole group...
That is probably what should be privately shared with a sponsor in a 4th/5th step session.
This is "How it Works"
How It Works
Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average.
There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.
Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it -- then you are ready to take certain steps.
At some of these we balked. thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.
Remember that we deal with alcohol, cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power that One is God. May you find Him now!
Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. we asked His protection and care with complete abandon.
Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery:
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
The 12 Steps
Many of us exclaimed, "What an order! I can't go through with it." Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints. The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.
Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventure before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:
(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.
(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.
(c) That God could and would if He were sought.
and here's a link to the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous:
http://www.recovery.org/aa/bigbook/ww/
That will come from being in control of your actions and by not continuing to get yourself into such a state of not being able to control your behavior.
We have all done things while under the influence that we're not proud of and need to make amends for..
You can quit drinking one day at a time...
The program of AA can give you the tools to learn to live a new life sober.
It is not necessary to walk into your first meeting and share that information with the whole group...
That is probably what should be privately shared with a sponsor in a 4th/5th step session.
This is "How it Works"
How It Works
Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average.
There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.
Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it -- then you are ready to take certain steps.
At some of these we balked. thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.
Remember that we deal with alcohol, cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power that One is God. May you find Him now!
Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. we asked His protection and care with complete abandon.
Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery:
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
The 12 Steps
Many of us exclaimed, "What an order! I can't go through with it." Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints. The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.
Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventure before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:
(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.
(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.
(c) That God could and would if He were sought.
and here's a link to the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous:
http://www.recovery.org/aa/bigbook/ww/
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Melbourne victoria
Posts: 1,975
staff. Why can't they understand that what i did was done under the crippling control of spirits?
EXACTLY!!!!!!!!
Your behaviour was CONTROLLED by alcohol. That was the very reason I sought help, which I found in the rooms of AA
Believe me, your story is no better or worse than anybosdy elses, you are not unique
Lee
EXACTLY!!!!!!!!
Your behaviour was CONTROLLED by alcohol. That was the very reason I sought help, which I found in the rooms of AA
Believe me, your story is no better or worse than anybosdy elses, you are not unique
Lee
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
