HopesAngel

Hi everyone. I am new hear and want to be able to get my story out. This maybe a little long but I will try to keep is short as possible. A little back ground on me first. My father is an alcoholic and sex addict. He has been clean for the last 6 years. I am very proud of him. My brother is also a recovering alcohol and drug addict himself. My sister well that is another story(very long). I growing up in highschool was first introduced to drugs. The only problem back then well right after highschool, I had an addiction to X. Of course I didnt realize it at the time but one day I was sleeping and woke up in a cesure and that was the last day I used that drug. I don't know what clicked in me but the desire and the craving wasn't there anymore. That was cough cough 20 years ago. Now to what is happening with me today. I am married and my husband is in prison. He was/is addicted to crack, when he was out our life was pure hell. I could tell you stories that I am sure all or some of you would recognize. I saw a man I loved dearly tear himself apart on that drug. Well I finally decided to end our relationship because I didnt want to be part of the downhill spiral he was on. I kicked him out of the house and he cleaned up we started to work on things and then he would start using again. Well one night I was out with some girl friends and I came home. All the light in the house were on(i never leave them on when I am gone) I walk into my home and notice he was in the attic. I walked out quietly and called the police. This was the hardest call I have ever had to make. It was one that I knew would be the only one he could clean up his life. He was arrested that night on a blue warrent. That day happened almost 2 years ago. He is still in prison right now and doing the best he can. We have worked through the past. There is still a lot of hurt and anger inside of me but he and I are working through it and taking it day by day.
A little about myself and my addiction. I am an alcoholic. I have never wanted to admit that to myself but I have had to. I used to be more of a social drinker but lately it has been more than that. I drink every night. I am tired of it and don't want it in my life anymore. I am also a smoker also and that is something that is going to quit also. I have a couple of friends that want to quit also. We have set a date to stop on January the 8th. I will stop drinking and smoking the same day. We are going to be each other support for the smoking. I will be going to AA meetings to help with the drinking. I do have a wonderful support system in my family. I know I can do this.
On the last note my husband comes home in July of 06 and we will both be going to meetings together and try and repair the damage the past has done to this relationship. I fully believe there is hope as long as you are willing to try.

Well this is my story in a condensed version. I am so glad that I have found this site. This is definately a wonderful place to be.
Thanks for listening.

CarolD

Welcome to SR!

Congratulations on seeking a better way of living.

Phinneas

Welcome to SR, HopesAngel. Sounds like you know what you need to do for a better life.

Are you quitting drinking on January 8th, too? Why not now?

HopesAngel

Yes I am quiting everything on January the 8th. I originally put the smoking on that date but I know it wouldnt work if I was still drinking. I wanted to pick a time that was less stressful, a goal point so to speak. I am in the process of cutting back. Trying to break the habbit cycle or at least replace it with new positive habbits. I am going to use this time to get rid of ashtrays, wine glass, lighters and so on.... I have always done better in my life when I have set goals. This is one reason that I have picked this date. I also have friends that are quiting smoking on this date and we are going to work with each other and be there for each other in support.

I hope this make sense.

cooky

WelcometoSR
They say in AA work on one thing at a time.Maybe you can quit both at the same time,I couldn't.If you are interested there is another website for quitting smoking.I'm using it right now.
www.smokeawaysupport.com

HopesAngel

Thanks so much for the information. I am open to hear views on this also. I want to be free of both in my life. I am personally lost when it comes to this.

Good luck to youon quiting for good.

Little Missy

Welcome to SR!! And Congratulations on your decision to stop drinking!!! Lots of support here!! Glad you found us!!

Missy

hector

Welcome, Angel! Glad you're here! Keep coming back no matter what!

Uh oh, here comes the blast.

You're ging to keep on taking both your poisons for almost another month so you can have more support to quit. Does that make sense to you? It doesn't make sense to me. Quit. Now. The time will never be right. You're doing this for you, with God. Cutting back doesn't work. Quit. Now. 10 days, 10 months, 10 years from now you'll be glad you did.

My opinion only. Take it or leave it.

I've been sober over 17 years. I've been a non-smoker almost that long.

Remember, I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together.

HopesAngel

I totally understand what you are saying. I will tell everyone that I am scared to death of change. I know this is a good change I am going to make. I almost feel embarressed that I have failed myself as well as my family. We have all been on a vicisious cycle of addiction and this is just one more to add to the hat. I have an appointment today with a counsler and this will be a start for me on recovery and being totally honest with myself and my problems. I have no more alcohol in my home right now and don't plan on buying any more.

It is just scarey to make changes

nogard

Congrats on your decision to step into a better life and welcome to SR

Kevin