What was your 1st step like?
 

:33:

I am working on my 1st step that my counselor has given to me. It has 100 essay questions. My friend (5 years sober) was looking at it today and said it was a 4th step not a 1st step. I have already written 20 pages. I am only on question 33. She thinks that it is too much for the first step. So I was wondering how everyone here has done their 1st step and what it consisted of? I'm confused and not sure what to think. I have called my sponsor but she is busy and so will talk to her later about it. She knows it's a 100 questions but she hasn't looked at it yet. I would love to hear from everyone here about your 1st step.

Thanks
Sherry

Hi *smiles*. I was told to read Step One over and over again for a couple weeks. I did. Then I was to read through the first chapter of the green and gold workbook and highlight questions and sentences that I felt really applied to me or moved me in some way. Then I was instructed to get out my journal, write down everything I highlighted, why I highlighted it or answer the question. I ended up with about 50 journal pages; quite a lot of writing! But I found it very cleansing, and it also brought up stuff from my past that I had pushed so far back in my head I had forgotten about it. Now I need to get together with my sponsor and go over it all with her.

I'm sure other sponsors do it differently, too. Good luck!

The important thing about doing a 1st Step, IMO, is to leave absolutely, positively no room for doubt. Don't leave a door or window open, even a crack, ya know?

I did a couple of things for my First Step. One was to write out long hand my drinking and using career and to read it to my sponsor. I also did the NA workbook, which is very thorough. And last, I read the BB and 12x12 first step and shared about it in meetings.

Consult with your sponsor on this one, like you said you are going to do. She is the best one to advise you.

[QUOTE] Yep that is the key if you leave a crack you will fall through. I am doing all of my steps with a sponsor out of the NA Step Study Guide. This is a very intense book which will help you to identify everything (trust me on that) but in the long run if I keep doing it and try to remember that I am not the same person today that I was back then then it is not as hard on me mentally. I would suggest that book but that is my own opinion. I will send good thoughts your way and hope you find the answer that you are looking for....

Love Vic

Thanks I appreciate the suggestions. I guess part of what I am confused about is that my friend said the 1st step I am doing is too much for me right now. She said it is to intense and should wait until my 4th step. She said the one I am doing is even more intense than the N/A one. I donno. She's afraid it's too much and I might drink over it. I know it has brought a lot of tension up for me and I have had cravings but I share about them in the meetings and keep going to a meeting everyday and I haven't drank over it. I don't know what to think... I want to make sure I don't leave any cracks but don't want to end up drinking over it.. hmmm I am confused I guess. I have been sober since Nov 9th which is almost 30 days if that makes a diffence in what I am doing.

(((((Sherry)))))

The steps will not get you drunk or high, sex won't get you drunk or high, the only thing that is going to get you drunk or high is to drink or use. We will never work the steps perfect, nor could we this is a process not an event OMG I need to remember that. See now you just helped me

Love Vic

For me, the first step did not entail a lot of work. I knew, and I mean deep in my heart knew, that I couldn't control alcohol or drugs. I knew they were running my entire life and I mean every bit. I knew I didn't have the power over them*.

*Note, your mileage may vary. I no longer am an active member of NA and have learned tools that have helped give me SOME power over drugs and alcohol. But as soon as I start using, no matter what, I become powerless. PERIOD.

Step 1 for me was the foundation that I was to build my recovery on, therefore it had to be rock solid and earthquake proof.

Step 1, I read it a lot, and read the doctors opinion a lot, and read chap. 1 in the BB of AA a lot.

I did this until like Phinneas said, there was not one shred of "doubt" left. I believe to this day to the very core of my being that I AM POWERLESS OVER ALCOHOL AND DRUGS, and that when I use one or the other or both my life BECOMES TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY UNMANAGEABLE.

It took me probably almost the the whole first year before I was ready to move on to step 2, that I finally accepted Step 1 totally.

This is not a race, the steps are the most important thing in my humble opinion and thus I had to spend just as much time as needed on each one to "get it" to my own satisfaction.

I do believe your "friend" may be in error here, none of the steps will lead to a drink. Not doing one of the steps will!!!!!!

So go slow, read the step over and over, read the doctor's opinion and read chapter 1 of the Big Book of AA as many times as you need to for it to sink in and for you to ACCEPT that step.

JMHO

Love and (((((to all))))),

Most of my Step 1 work was done while I was in treatment. We actually had a 'workbook' type exercise where we answered a lot of questions. We also did a 'drug history', telling all about the consequences of our drinking and then shared it with our process group. When I worked the step with my sponsor, I did the BB reading mentioned above, read Step 1 in the 12x12, did a little bit of writing about how my life was unmanageable, and moved on to Step 2.

IMHO--when I admitted I had a problem, went to treatment, and quit drinking and using drugs, I had completed a first step. They say the first step is the only one we need to do perfectly. We do that by not picking up a drink or drug.

Way to go on your almost 30 days!!!

Hugs--