LETSUSY

This Is The First Time I Am In This Web Site I Have Been Married To A Drug Addict For About 12 Yrs It Is The Hardest Thing That I Have Ever Lived My Husband Has Made My Life Hell. For Me And My Children We Have Seporated In The Past And It Only Last For About 2 To 3 Months And He Comes Back Home And Says That He Is Not Going To His Drug Use And I Belive Him . To Make A Long Story Short He Got Arrested About 10 Days Ago For Having Drugs On Him The Court Order Him To Go To Rehab. He Blame Me For Getting Arrested Becuse He Said I Kicked Him Out. Well He Was Back Again But Know Left Again I Hope This Is For Good I Still Love Him But I Can't Continue Living Like This Am I Doing The CORRECT Thing By Leaving Him . Im Very Confuse .
please advise .

jbm125

Hi Susy....you're doing the right thing. Not for yourself but for your kids. They NEED to know this type of behavior is not acceptable. Do you want then thinking this stuff is OK? Do you want to see them arrested? Blaming you for his problems is typical addict behavior. When is the last time he hit you? Kids learn what they see. If they see your husband acting this way and you accept it they'll think it's normal. IT'S NOT!
You don't need to divorce him if you love him the way you say you do but you need to keep him away from your kids till he straightens out. They are the victims in this tragedy. He needs rehab like everyone needs oxygen. If he does not learn how to live without drugs you are all doomed. Your kids will be in my prayers.
God bless

raerob

I couldn't agree more...in addition, it would be a good idea for you to seek support for yourself while he's hopefully in rehab. Check out the NarAnon meetings in your area...meetings for friends/family of drug addicts.

In the meantime, keep reaching out to others by posting here in SoberRecovery.

LETSUSY

Jack Thank You For The Advice , This Is The First Time I Send A Message I Did Not Know If I Was Doing It Correctly But I Guess I Did. My H/ Had Never Hit Me But With His Addiction Is Enough To Drive Someone Insane. This Is The 2nd Night He Is Out Of The House . I Have An Appt. Today At 11:00 Am On Co-dependent Class. Hope That It Helps Me In Finding My Self And Be Able To Say No To Him When He Says He Wants To Come Back. My Son Does Not Want Him In The Home. My Daughter She Is 7 And Does Not Really Say Much She Is Use To Him Not Being Arround.

LETSUSY

Do You Think That Co-dependecy Will Help Or Is That Not The Correct Therapy I Should Be Looking For Please Advise

raerob

That's a good start, Susy. Good luck.

42day

I was in a very codependant relationship when i was using and what a mess! i thought i always had to do what he wanted, i'd tip toe around to make sure everything went just perfectly. When i went to rehab he left!!! That was the greatest of all gifts. He called again of course.he tried to get back into my life, but i surronded myself with supportive friends who helped me and for once it was nice to have people think of my feelings first. Its very hard to let go, but we both now that is what you have to do for yourself and your kids!! I read the book Codependant no more by melody beattie and it helped. Good luck stay strong and stick to your guns. starting over is what you need to do for you and your kids to have a healthy life.

I'll say a prayer for you tonight,
Shellie