Chris00

Hey guys and girls.

Just wanted to share a bit about me and my recovery.

I started using drugs on and off 4 years ago, and had a fair amount of control over them, until various things in my life began to get me down. I began using drugs to escape from my problems and reality, and before I knew it, drugs controlled my life. I remember buying drugs 8 months ago, for the first time in nearly two years. My dealer told me to "be carefull with them".

Ha! I thought. Drugs wont be a problem. Fast forward a few months, and I was a full blown addict. Everyday was a mission to get high, and my life spiralled out of control, into an obsessive complusive hell. I lost 35lbs, my job, and the things that drove me and made me myself. Occasional use progressed to every day use, which progressed to IV use in the last days of "my addiction". I term them my last days, because now I am seeking recovery, and have not used for 1 week.

In memory of miracle

Welcome to SR Chris! Congradulations on your week clean, that is great! :-). I can really identify with your post, sounds alot like my using days.I am glad your here!
Bless, Trish

hopealwayz

Chris,
Welcome to SR and the start of a better life. That is great that you are here reaching out and seeking help. You deserve a better life than bondage to horrible addiction. You are not alone in the struggle and there is so much great support here!

Keep coming back and let us get to know you.

One day at a time, we can and do recover!

Chris00

Thanks for the support. Im glad im here too. I hope I can manage my recovery, better than I did my life as an addict. The sleepless nights, paranoia, come downs, fiending, thieving and feeling like a complete waste of life is enough to drive me in being clean. I have to say, that one of the best feelings of being clean this week, has been having a decent sleep, without the all night tossing and turning with utterly depressing thoughts going thru my head all night

In memory of miracle

Oh yea, I remember it well.

hopealwayz

I remember those days all too well. It is horrible.
Being clean is better, much better.

lulu70

Hello Chris! Welcome aboard. One week clean is a miracle. Thanks for posting about your stuggle. Glad you found us and I look forward to learning more about you.

Hugs--

Chris00

Well, a little update. I screwed up. I guess it was only a matter of time. Something evil inside me takes over and I wind up back where I was. I relapsed yesterday, and wound up shooting in a parkade with people I didnt even know. Smart huh? Not asking for sympathy, just venting. Lucky I didnt get arrested, as I got searched by police, but they didnt find my stuff. I can only thank god for that, and wonder why he keeps saving me in these situations.

lulu70

Well, Chris, I suppose the question to ask yourself is: What can I do differently this time? Try not to beat yourself up too much. It is rare that someone can beat their addiction the first time they try. We are all still here for you.

Hugs--

ethereal girl

Chris,
You made it back here alive. That means you have another chance to get this right. Too many addicts don't get their next chance. Please stay, read, post.....we are here to help!