Just some thoughts.......or a "vent".......hmmmmm???
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Racine, WI
Posts: 206
Just some thoughts.......or a "vent".......hmmmmm???
Hey everyone!!
I have been "hanging around" SR for a few months now and have done my fair share of posting. One thing I have noticed is that this is a great place to complain, feel sorry for ourselves, vent (I've done em all....just check out some of my past posts!!)......etc etc etc. This is great, because we all need to do this once in a while. However, it also makes "hanging around" SR somewhat difficult at times, for me at least.
I have found that reading here can really bring me down. There are so many stories of despair, sadness, difficulties. Don't get me wrong, I am NOT saying these stories shouldn't be shared because it definately helps my recovery to follow some of these stories and to add my insight when appropriate. (Not to mention post my OWN stories of despair!!) However, I find that SOMEtimes, this sight can be a bit depressing.
What's my point? Well, I just remember back when I first found SR. I thought "wow, I found a place to go and now I'm all good!!" This simply is NOT the case. If I hadn't let AA become a part of my recovery, and simply stuck with SR, I wouldn't be where I am today (not far mind you, I only have 53 days). I am sure there are some folks here who are probably SCARED to DEATH at the notion of entering a room full of strangers, and I think that SOMEtimes they can get the wrong impression of what AA can offer by some of the rather negative posts here from AA members. What I have to say to you, the newcomer, is that there really is something to be said for face to face contact with others in recovery!! I simply canNOT stress that enough!! I am not going to preach that "AA is the ONLY way"........but I think no one can truly say is ISN'T the way until they have at least tried it. I did, I like it, I'm sticking with it!!
(As an aside, I want to give credit where credit is due.......thank you to ALL of you here at SR who helped me get my butt into MY first AA meeting!!)
I think I'm rambling and not really getting my point across so I'm gonna try to wrap this up. I guess I just really want the newcomer to realize that just becasue there are some VERY strong opinions here at SR, that is really ALL they are........OPINIONS. The saying "take what you need and leave the rest" that is tossed around so freely here couldn't be more valuable!!! It is used so frequently because it is sooooooo very valid!!!
With all this said (probably not making the most sense), I hope no one, new or "old" gets discouraged here at SR. I hope we all remember that part of the beauty of a forum is the abundance of opinions and insight (whether we agree or not), and that we still DO need people (not just a computer screen) in our lives as well.
Here's to finding what works best for us!!
PS......I really have no idea why I felt compelled to post this, but I DID feel compelled, therefore......I posted!!
I have been "hanging around" SR for a few months now and have done my fair share of posting. One thing I have noticed is that this is a great place to complain, feel sorry for ourselves, vent (I've done em all....just check out some of my past posts!!)......etc etc etc. This is great, because we all need to do this once in a while. However, it also makes "hanging around" SR somewhat difficult at times, for me at least.
I have found that reading here can really bring me down. There are so many stories of despair, sadness, difficulties. Don't get me wrong, I am NOT saying these stories shouldn't be shared because it definately helps my recovery to follow some of these stories and to add my insight when appropriate. (Not to mention post my OWN stories of despair!!) However, I find that SOMEtimes, this sight can be a bit depressing.
What's my point? Well, I just remember back when I first found SR. I thought "wow, I found a place to go and now I'm all good!!" This simply is NOT the case. If I hadn't let AA become a part of my recovery, and simply stuck with SR, I wouldn't be where I am today (not far mind you, I only have 53 days). I am sure there are some folks here who are probably SCARED to DEATH at the notion of entering a room full of strangers, and I think that SOMEtimes they can get the wrong impression of what AA can offer by some of the rather negative posts here from AA members. What I have to say to you, the newcomer, is that there really is something to be said for face to face contact with others in recovery!! I simply canNOT stress that enough!! I am not going to preach that "AA is the ONLY way"........but I think no one can truly say is ISN'T the way until they have at least tried it. I did, I like it, I'm sticking with it!!
(As an aside, I want to give credit where credit is due.......thank you to ALL of you here at SR who helped me get my butt into MY first AA meeting!!)
I think I'm rambling and not really getting my point across so I'm gonna try to wrap this up. I guess I just really want the newcomer to realize that just becasue there are some VERY strong opinions here at SR, that is really ALL they are........OPINIONS. The saying "take what you need and leave the rest" that is tossed around so freely here couldn't be more valuable!!! It is used so frequently because it is sooooooo very valid!!!
With all this said (probably not making the most sense), I hope no one, new or "old" gets discouraged here at SR. I hope we all remember that part of the beauty of a forum is the abundance of opinions and insight (whether we agree or not), and that we still DO need people (not just a computer screen) in our lives as well.
Here's to finding what works best for us!!
PS......I really have no idea why I felt compelled to post this, but I DID feel compelled, therefore......I posted!!
Cruelty-Free
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Body: South Florida Heart: Yosemite National Park
Posts: 914
Thanks for your honesty, skinner! I heard a lot of hope in there...
A friend on SR reminds me that many folks come here in a great deal of pain and may not know another way to deal with that pain but to dump it here. I find that SR has the ability to absorb that pain and process it into hope and healing.
I've found that I can gain something equally valuable from those who "carry the mess" as I can from those who "carry the message". It's simply a matter of my perspective and my ability to take what I like and leave the rest!
A friend on SR reminds me that many folks come here in a great deal of pain and may not know another way to deal with that pain but to dump it here. I find that SR has the ability to absorb that pain and process it into hope and healing.
I've found that I can gain something equally valuable from those who "carry the mess" as I can from those who "carry the message". It's simply a matter of my perspective and my ability to take what I like and leave the rest!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Racine, WI
Posts: 206
A friend on SR reminds me that many folks come here in a great deal of pain and may not know another way to deal with that pain but to dump it here. I find that SR has the ability to absorb that pain and process it into hope and healing.
I agree with you, and I hope I didn't sound like I don't recognize the purpose of SR. I think this place is a PHENOMENAL start to recovery (heck, if not for SR, I would probably still be drinking!!) It is also a great tool to be used in conjunction with other tools. I guess I just wanted to convey that what some may experience here, good AND bad, isn't ALL that is available.
Thanks for your feedback.......and yes, I too
gain something equally valuable from those who "carry the mess" as I can from those who "carry the message".
JUST DO IT!!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Here Or There
Posts: 7,612
((((((Skinner))))))
I said that I was not going to post here anymore but I made two in my last one but I had to make one here. What you are doing now is speaking from the heart and that is what I try to do since I have been at SR. One thing that each of us have is our experience, strength, and hope. Anything other than that makes for alot of confusion. I am proud to be a part of SR and there was a time in which I wasn't sure where I belonged if I did at all.
When I first got clean this last time, I went to meetings but I said all I had to say here at SR, and this family took all of that away from me piece by piece. I was a total wreck, I have done a lot of whinning, complaining, and a lot of feeling good and happy as well. I was the one that asked for the "Join Me In A Moment Of Silence" thread to get locked up, I don't like it when people come in and try to cause hatred yet that is who I was. I know that f2f meetings are the way to go. Hell I go to atleast one f2f meeting a day, I don't spend to much time here at SR like I used to but I needed what I got to get where I am.
And Yes the thing take what you want and leave the rest LMAO I wish I could remember that in times that I think I need to remember that. But another saying goes also "It takes whatever it takes" I know it took a lot of work for me to get where I am today. If By the Grace of MY HP and SR and the fellowship I make it another 11 hours 52 min from now I will have 8 months and I will NOT trade that in today..
Love Vic
BTW I like what you wrote...
I said that I was not going to post here anymore but I made two in my last one but I had to make one here. What you are doing now is speaking from the heart and that is what I try to do since I have been at SR. One thing that each of us have is our experience, strength, and hope. Anything other than that makes for alot of confusion. I am proud to be a part of SR and there was a time in which I wasn't sure where I belonged if I did at all.
When I first got clean this last time, I went to meetings but I said all I had to say here at SR, and this family took all of that away from me piece by piece. I was a total wreck, I have done a lot of whinning, complaining, and a lot of feeling good and happy as well. I was the one that asked for the "Join Me In A Moment Of Silence" thread to get locked up, I don't like it when people come in and try to cause hatred yet that is who I was. I know that f2f meetings are the way to go. Hell I go to atleast one f2f meeting a day, I don't spend to much time here at SR like I used to but I needed what I got to get where I am.
And Yes the thing take what you want and leave the rest LMAO I wish I could remember that in times that I think I need to remember that. But another saying goes also "It takes whatever it takes" I know it took a lot of work for me to get where I am today. If By the Grace of MY HP and SR and the fellowship I make it another 11 hours 52 min from now I will have 8 months and I will NOT trade that in today..
Love Vic
BTW I like what you wrote...
Cruelty-Free
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Body: South Florida Heart: Yosemite National Park
Posts: 914
Originally Posted by skinner
I hope I didn't sound like I don't recognize the purpose of SR.
By the way, congrats on 53 days-at-a-time!!!
Good to see you're still here, Vic!
Coming out of my shell
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: State of Denial
Posts: 100
Hi Skinner! 
I know what you are trying to say, but instead of letting it get me down I read the posts and remember how I felt when I was drinking, or when I first stopped, and it re-affirms my decision to quit. Without reading about the pain it causes, I may forget how alcohol affected my life and I could easily pick up the bottle again thinking "I'm ok now". I don't hang out here a lot, but I do come here often.
I read.
I remember.
I don't drink.
Simple as that.
I wish it was that simple!
I'm glad you're doing well
, how's the book?
I know what you are trying to say, but instead of letting it get me down I read the posts and remember how I felt when I was drinking, or when I first stopped, and it re-affirms my decision to quit. Without reading about the pain it causes, I may forget how alcohol affected my life and I could easily pick up the bottle again thinking "I'm ok now". I don't hang out here a lot, but I do come here often.
I read.
I remember.
I don't drink.
Simple as that.
I wish it was that simple! I'm glad you're doing well
, how's the book?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: fumbling towards ecstasy
Posts: 2,551
Originally Posted by skinner
If I hadn't let AA become a part of my recovery, and simply stuck with SR, I wouldn't be where I am today (not far mind you, I only have 53 days).
... and that we still DO need people (not just a computer screen) in our lives as well.
... and that we still DO need people (not just a computer screen) in our lives as well.
I accept the negative posts here as crys for help. I don't participate in the crys for attention, but I do respond with my own ESH to the ones who come here blinded by the pain of this disease.
My advice to newcomers? Get yer butt to a meeting!
Guest
Posts: n/a
A few weeks ago, I decided to start a website called Friends of Bill W., primarily for people like myself...recovering alcoholics who are homebound and unable to enjoy the face to face experiences of AA meetings. Unfortunately, only one person responded...and that was to wish me luck with the board, but to suggest that I try out Sober Recovery. When I first got my pc five years ago, I tried several AA websites, and was very disappointed...they seemed to discuss everything but recovery.
I actually logged on here November 15th, my 26th Anniversary in Recovery...I am so happy that I did...and will be forever grateful to TequilaSheila (wherever she may be). Sheila, if you read this and are perhaps under a different user name, please IM me.
I've had nothing but good experiences here...it's like one great big discussion meeting. I hope by sharing with others I can pass on what I've learned over the years...and, reading all the posts of the newcomers is helping to "keep my memory green".
I actually logged on here November 15th, my 26th Anniversary in Recovery...I am so happy that I did...and will be forever grateful to TequilaSheila (wherever she may be). Sheila, if you read this and are perhaps under a different user name, please IM me.
I've had nothing but good experiences here...it's like one great big discussion meeting. I hope by sharing with others I can pass on what I've learned over the years...and, reading all the posts of the newcomers is helping to "keep my memory green".
In Paradise!
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Pair-O-Dice, CA
Posts: 432
This must be a phase or something coming to SR. I made a similar post at about 1 month here.
I was real undecided about SR until I hear statements like this From this post, or Stormy who said she got a temp sponsor and went to a meeting.
SR has never been key in my recovery, and probably never will be. But just because its not what I did doesn't mean it cant work for someone else. Those quotes prove it.
I have changed my posting routines to fit what has worked for me. My sig file is about AA and what works - FOR ME. While I truly enjoy allot of folks on here, I am in a different place the most. While the obsession to drink and use has been removed I am more focused on my future and dealing with life on life's terms.
This forum is mostly warm and fuzzy which I understand for the most part - but another part of me says if you cant deal with SR on SR terms, you best not leave the house because life takes no prisoners! or GET YOUR ARSE TO A MEETING cause this aint working!! If you are active in your recovery whatever that is and you are satisfied then ignore me, I wont take it personally, trust me.
Unfortunately I am not as eloquent in my writing as I am with my spoken word, what starts out with a message ends up in bickering. Then I am back peddling my out of it and out of control. I honestly try to tactfully convey a message for thought.
While this would be pretty boring forum if every reply was "go to a meeting" some folks use other methods of recovery, if it works then please keep doing it, if it doesnt please try something else.
A N Y W A Y S .......
peace
~GB
I was real undecided about SR until I hear statements like this
thank you to ALL of you here at SR who helped me get my butt into MY first AA meeting!!
SR has never been key in my recovery, and probably never will be. But just because its not what I did doesn't mean it cant work for someone else. Those quotes prove it.
I have changed my posting routines to fit what has worked for me. My sig file is about AA and what works - FOR ME. While I truly enjoy allot of folks on here, I am in a different place the most. While the obsession to drink and use has been removed I am more focused on my future and dealing with life on life's terms.
This forum is mostly warm and fuzzy which I understand for the most part - but another part of me says if you cant deal with SR on SR terms, you best not leave the house because life takes no prisoners! or GET YOUR ARSE TO A MEETING cause this aint working!! If you are active in your recovery whatever that is and you are satisfied then ignore me, I wont take it personally, trust me.
Unfortunately I am not as eloquent in my writing as I am with my spoken word, what starts out with a message ends up in bickering. Then I am back peddling my out of it and out of control. I honestly try to tactfully convey a message for thought.
While this would be pretty boring forum if every reply was "go to a meeting" some folks use other methods of recovery, if it works then please keep doing it, if it doesnt please try something else.
A N Y W A Y S .......
peace
~GB
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
SR is a grand resource for anyone seeking information.
With facts...we can made choices for ourselves.
Our personal shares..while interesting.
are mere experiences/observations/opinions
I have a strong feeling that sobriety + the Golden Rule
makes for a blessed life.
Fact? Nope My observation
Thanks for the topic...
With facts...we can made choices for ourselves.
Our personal shares..while interesting.
are mere experiences/observations/opinions
I have a strong feeling that sobriety + the Golden Rule
makes for a blessed life.
Fact? Nope My observation
Thanks for the topic...
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
Posts: 3,410
Skinner - I am not an alcoholic (my ex is) but part of my recovery is to share my ESH on SR. I get back so much more than I put in. I have found, though, that I need to at least read (if not participate) in most of the boards here, not just stick to F&F. One thing that always sticks out for me is that there are quite a few people who don't "graduate" from the Newcomers Board to the boards specific to their problem and I guess that's true about seeking help IRL too.
The Newcomers Board is a wonderful "gateway" to recovery, but I have seen that the really strong growth comes from elsewhere.
The Newcomers Board is a wonderful "gateway" to recovery, but I have seen that the really strong growth comes from elsewhere.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Racine, WI
Posts: 206
Hey Minnie:
You managed to sum up what I was trying to say........I basically just wanted to pass along to any newcomers that the Newcomers Board is a STARTING point......and that even if they stumble upon some negative feedback, to keep reading and to just take what they need and leave the rest.
(Geeze......I'm really not the best at expressing my thoughts in type......I'm a MUCH better speaker........at least I HOPE so!!
)
Oh, and everyone else that took the time to post their thoughts........thanks so much. I really appreciate ALL sides to a topic........not just my own!!
You managed to sum up what I was trying to say........I basically just wanted to pass along to any newcomers that the Newcomers Board is a STARTING point......and that even if they stumble upon some negative feedback, to keep reading and to just take what they need and leave the rest.
(Geeze......I'm really not the best at expressing my thoughts in type......I'm a MUCH better speaker........at least I HOPE so!!
)Oh, and everyone else that took the time to post their thoughts........thanks so much. I really appreciate ALL sides to a topic........not just my own!!
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