kaotic42

i thought i had posted this, so sorry if its a repos.

im scared - i've been on gear for 3 yrs on and off(mostly on), and recently did a rapid detox:
28hrs - 55ml meth
57hrs - 40ml meth
87 hrs - 26ml meth
its been 8 full days since i last touched gear, and 4 days since my last meth, but for the last two days ive been feeling progressively wors, and now im feeling real sick.

im worried that i might have a meth habit, but ive always been careful to leave 2 weeks between meth detox's (ive tried 4 times in the last 2 months), so i dont understand why im so ill.

please help, cos i aint got noone to turn to with this - this has been my dirty little secret for three years, and my life would be destroyed if anyone knew what i was up to. ive done so well, but the fear of meth habit is making all my demons come back to haunt me (you know the ones).

Thanks guys n gals

Cindi R

You may need professinal help to do a detox successfully...
Don't exactly understand about the ml's...pharmaceutical grade? but meth was my DOC and I know that for me personally, I could have never quit on my own, without the support of the people in the program and the tools to keep me clean!

Greenbug

I only am seeing Meth, I dont see any herion. If this is the case get to a meeting, find others in your plight. You are not alone and this "little secret" might be "yours" but you share it with others as well. Dont feel you are alone here, I was in the same boat as you exactly.

If you are detoxing from Herion, definately get professional advice, again I dont think you posted any herion use. Whats your routine, Herion in the evening, Meth in the day?

More info please, Herion detox can be a serious health issue, should be monitored. Meth is just F**ked up detox but you'll live. Just sleep it off.

Meetings long term for staying off.

~GB

kaotic42

ya, i was on about half a gram a day of heroin (gear in scotland) until 8.5 days ago, and my methadone is a green liquid which is 1mg per ml.
the only time i ever fully did a cold-turkey (scary phrase), i was feelin fine by day six or 7, but this time its lasting way longer, and getting worse too.

I think im gonna cry

Greenbug

I got'cha

I know things are different in the UK, but you have to see someone to get the meth, is that correct? Surely there is a detox center for that as well.?

If you have an area where you are I might be able to find a number for you to call and you can talk to someone. Again you are doing the right thing. It just sucks, plain and simple.

The good news is if you stay clean you'll never have to do this again. I know that means little now.......

correction: I mis-understood the Meth term, now that you have explained it, it makes perfect sense.

020 7730 0009 This is the NA helpline for the UK, I am sure they can better direct you.

The local number for Edinburgh (I hope thats a phone number) 07071 223441 <--is that a phone number?

kaotic42

yeah sorry, mate, my original message was a lot clearer, but it didnt post for some reason, and I was pretty bored of typing by then!

Ive been on my own on this one for so long, the lies are starting to really kill my soul. Im in the middle of my fourth year engineering degree examinations, and the strain has got me having panic attacks. Im glad Ive found a forum to talk to people in.

I'd just like to know if its normal for me to be getting this sick so late on - if you want any info about my drugs schedule, I have detailed records that go back a couple of months (I've become seriously meticulous about recording my intake of substances).

I've been looking forward to being clean for so long, and evry day it doesnt happen, i get closer to breaking. I tell u - if I could have scored earlier on, I would have (its 2038 in UK).....luckily, I couldnt get any skag (heroin, sorry if i use weird slang)

Cindi R

AHH..."methadone"...not methamphetamines
Sorry, no experience with that stuff.
But there are others here who have I'm sure

Sugah

Um... is there any possibility that you're physically ill from something other than withdrawal?

I put myself through detox more often than I care to remember - not by choice, but because I had a dirty little secret, too, and getting dope sick was something I just accepted as a matter of course when I ran out & couldn't get my supply quick enough.

One day, I was going through my usual bout of the "flu" (as I told everyone I had - I was a walking epidemic), and it was getting worse and worse. Finally, my caregiver (I was an invalid by this point from physical disabilities) called an ambulance. Years of abusing my body with drugs and alcohol had resulted in pancreatitis. My pancreas was failing - and I was so used to being dope sick, I didn't know the difference,.

I suggest you seek medical advice. If you're dope sick, you'll get through it, but if you're not.... just find a doctor, okay? It's not worth it to die from ignorance. Besides, if you have the same confidentiality laws as we have here, it won't be as bad if you go than if you collapse and someone else finds you.

Let us know how you're doing.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

kaotic42

im pretty sure its not anything - its got all the classic signs of opiate withdrawal. I've managed to steer clear of smack for another night - one day at a time. Im pretty concerned about tomorrow, cos today i got so desperate i would have shot up anything i could have.

Ive been mad depressed all night, and i cant study or anything. Im in the middle of my fourth year engineering degree exams, and this blows so bad. Ive been sitting alone for days now....I get the feeling I'm gonna feel like this quite a lot during the next few months. Man, thats even more depressing.

I've had my cry for the night - thanks for being there, i dont have anyone else to talk to. If I can make it to two weeks at least ill be totally over the physical side I hope.

Thanks again folks

Greenbug

The sad truth is there is no "easy" to come off of an opiate. Except if you got the money there is always Subutex (Buprenorphine), its available in the UK - dont know where though. cutting edge and pricey!

best of luck friend

~GB

http://www.patient.co.uk/showdoc/27000288/

kaotic42

well, after 9 clean days i screwed up yesterday. I found some old filters, and washed them up and shot em in. I dont wanna believe it - i was crying as i stuck the needle in my arm.

sorry for being pathetic and failing miserably. On the up-side, that was the longest period of cleanliness in the last year or two, and hopefully, the withdrawal will be kinder this time (lets hope im not completely back to square one)

Sorry again, guys, but I'm back on the wagon as of today, so we'll see.