Now What?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: WESTERN PART OF NORTHERN STATE
Posts: 19
Now What?
Been going to my Tuesday meeting. Everything going great. I have two guys I call and that call me to check how things are going. Tonight I take a couple of puffs off the weed after 38 days of nothing, and now feel devastated. Still no drinking! I gave the rest to my wife and she threw it out. Very hard to do. Now what? I think I get all cocky and think I've got it beat. This is too easy I was saying. I guess it wasn't. Still need top be more humble even though I've come a long way.
I look back on some posts and am ashamed that I gave advice, which I meant, and now have slipped. Some advice please. My brain feels fogged over again.(I'm still buzzed). Going to bed now.
I look back on some posts and am ashamed that I gave advice, which I meant, and now have slipped. Some advice please. My brain feels fogged over again.(I'm still buzzed). Going to bed now.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: fumbling towards ecstasy
Posts: 2,551
My advice? Go to bed. Tomorrow is another day.
Take this as a lesson. Don't beat yourself up, but learn from it and don't do it again, ya know? How about upping your meetings? When I was in my first months, I went to at least a meeting a day. This is not just about stopping the drinks and drugs, it's about learning a whole new pattern of behavior, a whole new way of life. I sure needed all the help I could get.
Take this as a lesson. Don't beat yourself up, but learn from it and don't do it again, ya know? How about upping your meetings? When I was in my first months, I went to at least a meeting a day. This is not just about stopping the drinks and drugs, it's about learning a whole new pattern of behavior, a whole new way of life. I sure needed all the help I could get.
Not all better, getting better
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Beautiful Inner Banks of NC
Posts: 1,702
Ditto what Phinny said. Been down that road many times. Just because you slipped doesn't make your advice any less valuable. Take a look at how and why you slipped, try to learn from it, and move on. Tomorrow is another day. Just because you used today doesn't mean you have to tomorrow. Take care.
In Paradise!
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Pair-O-Dice, CA
Posts: 432
Sh1t happens, remember, live and learn.
Hit the meetings, maybe you need more then just the tuesday meeting? Work with your sponsor, and move forward. when ever you get the urge to "test the waters" just remind yourself tomorrow maybe, but not today.
Hit the meetings, maybe you need more then just the tuesday meeting? Work with your sponsor, and move forward. when ever you get the urge to "test the waters" just remind yourself tomorrow maybe, but not today.
NOT EVEN 1 CLUB!!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: When I find myself, I'll let you know!
Posts: 1,835
You have gotten wonderful advice here!!
WHAT NOW? Pick yourself up and start over!! You didn't lose what you have learned just added another lesson. Start with step one!! I've been there and done that. Gotta get it through your head that you are powerless!! Work on that acceptance!! It's a tough one, but you can do it. We are here for you!!
WHAT NOW? Pick yourself up and start over!! You didn't lose what you have learned just added another lesson. Start with step one!! I've been there and done that. Gotta get it through your head that you are powerless!! Work on that acceptance!! It's a tough one, but you can do it. We are here for you!!
Support our Troops.
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Republic Of Texas
Posts: 452
Today can be the day that you quit for good.
Rethink how you got into the position of buying, then smoking pot.
In the future avoid getting into the same situation.
You feel guilt, that is helpful, you recognize that you don't want this lifestyle anymore.
You offered advice, however you are helping people even when you slip.
You reminded me that I need to be vigilant in my journey to stay clean.
For that I thank you.
Rethink how you got into the position of buying, then smoking pot.
In the future avoid getting into the same situation.
You feel guilt, that is helpful, you recognize that you don't want this lifestyle anymore.
You offered advice, however you are helping people even when you slip.
You reminded me that I need to be vigilant in my journey to stay clean.
For that I thank you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: WESTERN PART OF NORTHERN STATE
Posts: 19
Wow! It's nice to know that people care. I woke this morning knowing I did something wrong. The bizarre thing is that I was feeling so good and sabotaged it with something artificial. It was the same stuff I always smoked, yet seemed so strong. It shows how numb we get when doing it all the time. You don't realize how fogged over you are until you stop, clear the senses and try to go back. Day one again. For what? Two puffs, paranoia etc. This disease is cunning and baffling. Here I go again!!!!
Thanks again
Thanks again
JUST DO IT!!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Here Or There
Posts: 7,612
(((((long_time)))))
I remember when I relapsed once and I was sitting on the steps of the group and this girl named Barbie came up and asked how I was doing, feeling pretty much like you did. I said I was OK but why didn't you people tell me that it was our Character Defects that take us back out (yet all that time they were saying that). And she looked at me and said "Vic, it takes what it takes!" She gave me a hug and went into the meeting. Did I stay clean since then NO, am I clean today YES. I hope that you don't do what I did for a long time and beat yourself up over it, but IF you are anything like me YOU are probably already doing that.
I am glad that you are here and I am sending good thoughts your way..
Love Vic
I remember when I relapsed once and I was sitting on the steps of the group and this girl named Barbie came up and asked how I was doing, feeling pretty much like you did. I said I was OK but why didn't you people tell me that it was our Character Defects that take us back out (yet all that time they were saying that). And she looked at me and said "Vic, it takes what it takes!" She gave me a hug and went into the meeting. Did I stay clean since then NO, am I clean today YES. I hope that you don't do what I did for a long time and beat yourself up over it, but IF you are anything like me YOU are probably already doing that.
I am glad that you are here and I am sending good thoughts your way..
Love Vic
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Chapel Hill, NC
Posts: 2,274
I hope you are stronger as a result of this and more certain of the first step. I had a relapse early in recovery too. I also smoked a little weed and felt really burned out and wasted. I realized I didn't want to feel that way again. I also realized that if I didn't get serious about the program, I would slip right out of it, possibly forever. Be grateful your slip wasn't worse and chalk it up as a learning experience.
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