*smiles*

I kind of have a problem right now and am at a loss. I came up here to visit my friend and have been going to meetings to try and stay sober. Well I have court tomorrow where I live and I called I cannot re-schedule so if I don't go they will put out a bench warrant for me. My friend here is angry with me because I want to go home and take care of this. She cannot stay there with me so I will have to stay at home which is not a good place for me. I was going to stay here with my friend for my first 90 days sober since I messed up last Tuesday and want to stay sober. I feel I have to go to court and she thinks I should just not go because it isn't putting my recovery first. I am so torn and just don't know what to do. I just can't miss court I am scared to death to have a warrant for my arrest. That is something I would do when drinking (skip court). I don't want to sober.

What do you think?

Dan

Putting recovery first, as your friend says, means just that.
We take responsibility for our actions of the past, and deal with the consequences.
Make your court date.
Your friend really has no business telling you what to do.

Anna

Going to court IS taking care of your sobriety!!

By all means, go!!

CarolD

Recovery is about being accountable in all matters.

Get to court... it is imperative.

*smiles*

Thank you...

What she is saying is that I need to not go and put it in God's hands. I am putting my sobriety at risk by going there because I have relapsed there and that I have a much better chance staying sober staying with her. We live 3 hours apart. The recovery is much stronger where she lives many more meetings and a much bigger place. She lives in a very big town (city) I live in the country and it is harder to get to meetings and do what I need to. I just believe that I should go to court. Am I not letting God's will in here? I called the court office tried to postpone court and they said I couldn't I had to be there. So it's not like I didn't try to wait on court. I am so confused as what is right. I am worried about relapse and putting my recovery first yet everything in me says I have to take care of court it is the responsible thing to do. If I do go to court and end up drinking because I am back in my home then I have nothing. I hope I am making sense I am a nervous wreck right now and feel so very torn. I appreciate everyones advice here...

Anna

If you don't go to court, you are not being responsible, which is a BIG part of being sober. And, you could end up in jail because you are breaking the law.

Turtle

Go to court, you have to take care of this in order to move on with your life. Your friend is being unrealistic and is trying to get you into a situation that may potentialy really screw your life up. You have your friends number, call her if you feel the need to drink. Stay away from the specific situations and people that make it difficult for you.
Can you travel early in the morning to get to court from your friends house, then leave as soon as your done?
Stay strong and good luck.
Kathy

Dan

Court=Good.
Friend's advice=Bad.

CarolD

God did not allow you to postpome.

Go to court and then leave quickly.

Blessings...

*smiles*

Thank you.. No I cannot travel early in the morning. I am up here visiting her without a car. My husband is going to have to meet us 1/2 way which is 1 1/2 hours from here. My husband will not let me drive his truck when I get home but there are people in A.A. I am going to call to see if they will drive me there and I will give them gas money. I know I need to go to court and I am going to because I just can't. The feeling I have to go is to strong. But then after I do court I am again stranded home. I can get my car going and then go from there. But I don't trust my car to drive 3 hours from home so I won't drive back up here. I can try and arrange it to where I can come back but right now I don't feel like doing that either just because my friend and I aren't getting along because of this. Geeze I have got to get a sponsor. I am only 6 days sober at the moment and haven't gotten one but really need one for stuff like this. I so appreciate everyone that has responded I really need to hear I am doing the right thing. I just don't want to screw up my sobriety either. Wow yesterday I would have had no idea today would have brought such uncertantly within myself. I did pray that God guide me on what to do through what eveyone here posted. I so hope that is the case...

Turtle

I don't see how your so-called "friend" can be acting this way. If she were really concerned about your sobriety she would help you get back to her as soon as you were done, not get pissed and push you away from her.

*smiles*

I don't think it is intentional. She has 5 years sobriety. We got sober together the first time when I had 3 1/2 years. She hasn't relapsed but I have several times. I know she loves me and is worried but the way she is approaching me isn't helping at all. I also know she is in the middle of this so it is hard for her. Where I am coming from is she does have 5 years sober I don't so I know she knows what she is talking about much more than I do. I don't know anything at this moment. Except how I feel. Does that make sense. I am just so scared right now.

Turtle

Have you told her how you feel? She needs to know you need more support, not tough love.

CarolD

I have over 16 years in AA recovery... so according to you...I know 3 times more than she does.

Sounds really silly Yes?

Are there trains or a bus in your area?
Use them to return to your friends home after court.

*smiles*

Yes I let her know that I am scared and that not going to court is something I would do drinking not sober. She even made the comment that jail did her a lot of good. She spent some time in jail when she first got sober. She is just seeing this as I am not willing to go to any lengths to stay sober and that I am not "giving this to God" and if I would it would all work out.

Like I said my fear is being strong enough to stay sober when I return home. She told me I was welcome to come back but that she could not come and get me again. That I understand she works had 2 kids and a life of her own. I just don't know how I would get back and right now I don't know I want to come back. I know worrying is not giving it to God. So what do you think? I really appreciate you talking to me right now I just really need it. Although in about 15 minutes she will be taking me to meet my husband so after that I won't be here for a little while but will check back because I really need and appreiate all the support here. You are awsome thanks!!!

lulu70

Get yourself to court. When that is over and taken care of, see what happens. Have faith that if you keep doing the next right thing it will all work out. NO QUESTION that going to court is the next right thing. Worry about what comes next after that.

I'll be praying for you!

Hugs--

*smiles*

Thank you lulu and you are so right. I don't know what the future holds. First things first. And let go from there. So right ;-)

Little Missy

I agree with everyone else. Gotta go to court and get that taken care of. Just another step in your recovery. While you're at home, stay focused on your sobriety!! Keep doing the next right thing!! And don't drink!!

If you can't get back to your friends house, then that's the way it is suppose to be!! Have faith!! You will be taken care of!!

We're here for ya!!
Hugs,
Missy

*smiles*

thanks again wonderful words of wisdom. I need to trust as long as I don't drink today and do the next right thing things will work out. Her opinion just means so much and I worry I am setting myself up but I can only do what is in front of me and stay sober today.. That's all I have... ;-)

((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))) right back at you

Thanks so much!!!!!!!!!

Anna

I'm so glad you are doing the right thing and I have to say I'm not sure you should be putting much weight on your friends advice. I agree that going to jail may help some people in the long term, but hopefully, you don't need to do that to get sober.
There's loads of support and encouragement here so keep reading and posting.

Let us know how you make out tomorrow!