MY Messed Up Thinking?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Lansing, MI
Posts: 23
MY Messed Up Thinking?
I may have sabatoged myself once again. Today makes 6 weeks without alcohol, I should be happy but caved last night on the pot. My SA therapist about came unglued with what I did and my reasoning behind it.
I have been having problems with my knees for almost two years. They have steadily worsened and now the muscles in my legs are doing weird things. They all tightened up yesterday and felt like one tore when I walked. The only Doc around that will take my insurance, will only talk about one thing per visit. My right knee, which has come back with a clear MRI. I have tried to tell him the problem is bi-lateral, and seems to be in the muscles. All three of my sisters have fibro-mylagia real bad and I have hep C. My legs have been through quite a bit from work and motorcycles.
Anyway, the Doc decided to put me on Naprosyn and Altram (fairly strong Narco?) I try not to use the altram and have only taken about 14 of them in two months. These pills make me feel like crap and don't really seem to help.
So after a couple of the narcos and the muscle spasms, I self medicated with a joint (First one in two weeks after smoking several daily for 30+ years). It relaxed the muscles, which helped the pain (better than the pills), made me feel guilty as hell, and pissed off my therapist. I was threatened with my Job Rehab Training and counsiling being cut off. She thought I should have taken more Altram.
I shouldn't have smoked, even if it was not for pleasure. I am going to try to find another DR. who will try to look at the big picture. And, I need to straighten out my thinking that a joint is'nt as bad as 200mg of Altram a day. I promised to remove pot as an option (medical use)
I'm also thinking that as my body detoxes more symptoms are showing up in my legs. Any thoughts?
I have been having problems with my knees for almost two years. They have steadily worsened and now the muscles in my legs are doing weird things. They all tightened up yesterday and felt like one tore when I walked. The only Doc around that will take my insurance, will only talk about one thing per visit. My right knee, which has come back with a clear MRI. I have tried to tell him the problem is bi-lateral, and seems to be in the muscles. All three of my sisters have fibro-mylagia real bad and I have hep C. My legs have been through quite a bit from work and motorcycles.
Anyway, the Doc decided to put me on Naprosyn and Altram (fairly strong Narco?) I try not to use the altram and have only taken about 14 of them in two months. These pills make me feel like crap and don't really seem to help.
So after a couple of the narcos and the muscle spasms, I self medicated with a joint (First one in two weeks after smoking several daily for 30+ years). It relaxed the muscles, which helped the pain (better than the pills), made me feel guilty as hell, and pissed off my therapist. I was threatened with my Job Rehab Training and counsiling being cut off. She thought I should have taken more Altram.
I shouldn't have smoked, even if it was not for pleasure. I am going to try to find another DR. who will try to look at the big picture. And, I need to straighten out my thinking that a joint is'nt as bad as 200mg of Altram a day. I promised to remove pot as an option (medical use)
I'm also thinking that as my body detoxes more symptoms are showing up in my legs. Any thoughts?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: WESTERN PART OF NORTHERN STATE
Posts: 19
I hope you really want to hear some thoughts. Sounds like excuses to me. Stick with the non opiate pain relievers. I've smoked pot for 25 years and will
be clean three weeks tomorrow. I think deep down you know the answer. If you smoked everyday for thirty years you have an addiction problem. Either stop or you'll be right back to everyday before you know it. I'm feeling great and pray that I don't take that first hit or drink, I know where it'll take me. Good luck!!!
be clean three weeks tomorrow. I think deep down you know the answer. If you smoked everyday for thirty years you have an addiction problem. Either stop or you'll be right back to everyday before you know it. I'm feeling great and pray that I don't take that first hit or drink, I know where it'll take me. Good luck!!!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: New Focus
Posts: 687
Hi Mchockfan, The pain doesnt sound good, I cant give you any advice but I would want to find out the cause, hope you can find a better doctor.
Glad you worked it through with your therapist and made a decision about the pot, all any of us can do is keep moving forward and improving as we go
Glad you worked it through with your therapist and made a decision about the pot, all any of us can do is keep moving forward and improving as we go
We all need each other.
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: The road of happy destiny.
Posts: 2,294
Hey MC--Pot is such a nasty, sneaky little drug. It lulls you into thinking it is harmless. I know--I'm a recovering pot-head. I smoked on a daily basis for more than 17 years. I actually found the pot harder to give up than the alcohol, initially.
It sounds to me like you need a muscle relaxant. Maybe that is what Altram is, but I'm not sure. If I were you, I would definitely find a different doctor. The one you have sounds like a putz. Also, it may have seemed like the pot helped with your legs by relaxing you, but it is an illusion. Contrary to popular belief, pot is a stimulant. You could be having more leg pain because you are still withdrawing from the pot. That's the other thing about that drug--it hangs around in your system WAY longer than other drugs. It usually takes about 45 days for it to work itself out.
Try not to beat yourself up too much for the slip. Just jump right back on the clean and sober bus. Your seat is still warm......
Hugs--
It sounds to me like you need a muscle relaxant. Maybe that is what Altram is, but I'm not sure. If I were you, I would definitely find a different doctor. The one you have sounds like a putz. Also, it may have seemed like the pot helped with your legs by relaxing you, but it is an illusion. Contrary to popular belief, pot is a stimulant. You could be having more leg pain because you are still withdrawing from the pot. That's the other thing about that drug--it hangs around in your system WAY longer than other drugs. It usually takes about 45 days for it to work itself out.
Try not to beat yourself up too much for the slip. Just jump right back on the clean and sober bus. Your seat is still warm......
Hugs--
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Lansing, MI
Posts: 23
Been thinking about it all for weeks now. That's why I don't want to take anything (Naprosyn is an anti-inflammatory that is very hard on the stomach. Best if used > 1 mo.) Definately agree that the risks, outweigh the benifits of taking anything habit forming. And I do not trust myself to control canabis use as a legit treatment option, so I won't.
Guess I just got caught off gaurd at the onset of new symptoms and convinced (Justified) myself while under the influence of the pain relief, to make another bad decision. (Sometimes the knee will not bear weight without something stronger than aspirin.) I honestly don't believe I would have smoked otherwise. I will my health over to My HP and struggle through until I get some answers from HIM or a Dr.
Guess I just got caught off gaurd at the onset of new symptoms and convinced (Justified) myself while under the influence of the pain relief, to make another bad decision. (Sometimes the knee will not bear weight without something stronger than aspirin.) I honestly don't believe I would have smoked otherwise. I will my health over to My HP and struggle through until I get some answers from HIM or a Dr.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: bayside. ny
Posts: 31
I was dependant on booze, pot and pain killers, the only thing I really miss is the pot, people say its the least harnful drug out there but if you ask me, it is the most harmful, pot is very habit forming.
funny because all I heard about the pain killers being so addictive, I dont even miss it, just the weed.
funny because all I heard about the pain killers being so addictive, I dont even miss it, just the weed.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
