3andme

I am the wife (soon to be ex-wife) of a drug addict. We have 3 children, which is why I am getting a divorce. I married my highschool sweetheart, and had 3 boys 15 months apart. During my 3rd pregnancy he began doing meth. to stay awake at his job, he worked 12 hr. night shifts. At the time I didn't know it. One year later I had a bad wreck and started to use with him. He lost his job and I started back to work. After a few months with him unemployed, and stealing money from me, out electricity was shut off. I left that day with my children, and got sober. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done, and it's still hard everyday. I am grateful that I am sober and my kids are not in that mess anymore. We all miss him so much. They constantly ask for him and have even told me it was my fault they didn't see their daddy. They are too young to know better. We will be divorced in Nov. but that doesn't stop me from loving him. I know what it is to be addicted, to feel so lost and hopeless, and I pray everyday that he will get help. All I want is my family back together, without drugs. Sometimes I feel as if I must be crazy to still be so in love with someone who cares so little. But I know him and that's not him, it's the drugs. How do I just forget about someone I love so much? I refuse to go back to that life and although he says he wants to get help it never happens. He calls often when he needs someone to talk to, usually when he is coming down and feeling depressed. Should I even talk to him?? I want to be there for him but not at the expense of myself or the boys. How can you help someone that is so hopeless?? Only God could pull me out of the place I was in, I could have never done it alone. I have been sober for over 7 months through prayer and the strength God helped me to see inside of myself. How can I help him to find that strength? I am so lonely without him, my heart breaks everyday when I think of what he has become.

Sugah

I hear your pain, and I know your pain. How about doing the best thing you can for him, which is taking care of you? Find yourself a meeting - Nar-Anon, Al-Anon, and if you're struggling to stay clean, NA or AA. There's help out there. Not everyone who uses and becomes physically dependent is an addict - some seem to break the physical dependency and be fine, but others hear it calling them back. Those are the ones for whom the rooms and the twelve steps are a life-saver - literally. The addiction to the addict can be as strong as the addiction to the drug.

Go to meetings. Find a sponsor. Work the steps. Recover.

I'll pray for you... you're not alone.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

tink360

As i read what you wrote a feeling creeps on me and settles down in the pit of my stomach...my high school sweet heart is currently in jail for theft and meth...i am a sober meth addict and i know that if it werent for my family i may be in your shoes today...except i dont know if i wouldve had the courage to leave and straighten up on my own like you did...congratulations for that...i miss my ex too...we were together for 5 years and i cry almost everynight wishing that somehow and someway that God will bring us back together and allow us to live a happy sober life...your kids may not understand now but im sure when theyre older they will see the strength it took for you to make the decision youve made and they will thank you for standing up to the addiction...they will know it was for the best and realize that if not for your actions they could be living with meth addicted parents...stay strong and keep up the good work...everytime your feeling down just remmember what youve accomplished and where youd be if it hadnt been done...

Luckyv2

(((((3andme)))))

You just told my story I hope that you know that and I am so glad that you are here. The only thing that saved my life was the mother of my children saying that it was over, and yet that was not enough. I had to go test the waters again and again..Today I have over 7 months clean and sober and Meth, Ice, whatever was my choice of drugs..I didn't think that I would ever be able to do this but one day at a time I have been able to keep it out of my reach. I go to meetings, read the literature, work the steps (with a sponsor), I have a sponsor and I use him, and no matter what is going on in my mind I DON"T USE>>>

To be perfectly honest with you, it took my wife (now ex) to say enough is enough for me to even try something different. I know that if she would have let me back into the house that I would never have gotten clean, yet today I have a good relationship with her, we are not together nor will we ever be but we have respect for each other today..So glad that you are here and the only one that can do anything is him and His God, nothing else will work. Keep coming back and Keep posting thanks for sharing.

Love Vic