paralysisofwill

Hi all,
Sorry I didn't update yesterday, but it was crazy. My best friend tried to commit suicide and I have been pretty upset about it. Needless to say, I did not stick with my plan. But, I did make an effort to take less. And I told my husband about the script so to prevent myself from taking it. We will see how today goes. Thanks for the support. Hope everyone is well.

maricamp

I'm very sorry about your friend. telling your husband about the scripts was a good move. I hope you won't neglect yourself because your friend is in crisis.
Keep in mind that you won't be able to continue to be a support to anyone else in your life if you are ill yourself. I cannot stress if enough that you need to get help for this before it gets worse. as the addiction takes over more and more of your life it will eat away at your self respect/confidence and eventually you could become powerless to overcome it. also it will take your brain longer to heal and it's possible to do irrrversable damage. I could write a book not only about my husband but also my sis-in-law. Honestly it has gone on so long with her I seriously doubt she will ever be ok again. she is a zombie most of the time and continues to use/abuse viadin and alcohol. she lies to my bro-hides her opiate drugs in ibprofin bottles and takes them right in front of him.

Please for yourself and your husband: get help now. the sooner you do the easier it will be for you.

I hope your friend is ok and getting the help needed. but remember that you can't help others if you aren't well.

please forgive my directness but I'm living with the results of long term opiate pain killer and alcohol use and it ain't fun.

mari

earlybird

Everyday you let this go, the harder it is going to be on you. I hear about so many people OD'ing on that stuff and dying. Im sure they all would have said to that ..."No,...not me,...I dont take that much" Nobody EVER says ..."Yeah,...I think Im going to take enough to OD" That is, unless they are TRYING to kill themselves.

tink360

i can undersatand the situation that you are in and thankfully to your post i have decided to not take the adderall...i was in the process of changing my meds from strattera to adderall for my adhd and i know have decided to refrain from the adderall...the question i have now is if there is anything else i can take to help with my adhd...needless to say i know the temptation you are facing and i hope you find the strength to stay sober...

michski

Hmmm... Paralysis didn't you post earlier about having abdominal surgery again and that's what kicked up your vicodin consumption in the first place yada yada yada???

So what's with this post about eating your husband's vicodin? You are treading in some deep water kiddo! Are you even having abdominal surgery?

paralysisofwill

Yes, I am having abdominal surgery. Four months ago I had surgery to repair five hernias, and now I have another one. The past surgeries are what started my vicodin addiction in the first place....you know, take them for pain and then get addicted. My husband has also had surgery and takes vicodin, but does not abuse it. Both of these posts are things that have happened in the past 2 days. And again, I just joined here two days ago. It's like everything is happening at one time.

paralysisofwill

OK, just going to try to give a better explanation of the sequence of events:

1) Had surgeries/took pain meds/got addicted/husband doesn't know
2) Husband had surgery/has pain meds/takes them as prescribed/I take his when I don't have any (without him knowing).
3) Husband left a week ago to work out of country.
4) I ran out of Vicodin/called our Dr. to get more "for husband"
5) Stumbled upon this website/got me thinking/decided I have a problem and want to get help
6) Got mail/Dr. had sent prescription for husband and I freaked
7) Started thread about it here and ended up telling husband about it so I wouldn't be tempted to take it.
8) Saw huge lump on scar running down my stomach/went to Dr. this morning/found out more surgery coming b/c it is another hernia

It is like the "nanosecond" I decided to try and get help there is a giant "HERE IS VICODIN" staring me in the face

carolm

Hi Paralysis,

I am a recovering addict. My drugs of choice were coke and narcotic pills. I did both relentlessly. The more percodan I did, the more I wanted and needed.At my worst, I would take 5-6 when I'd wake up and lie in bed waiting for them to take effect. That doesn't include the 5-10 more I'd take during the day. I had scripts from several doctors which is why I had so many. This was 12 years ago when the drugstores weren't so well-networked. The more you do, the more you need. Then they make you sick. I did many rehabs and finally had a breakdown. The coke didn't help, but my consumption of pills was ridiculous. I couldn't function without them even if I had coke. Stopping now will be the greatest gift you can give to yourself. The road will just get rockier.

Gee, this sort of sounds like a lecture; and I don't mean it that way. It's just that, as others at SR will tell you, recovery is so hard and the longer you use the harder it will get.

My thoughts are with you.

Carol

REZ

I would like to add that what the Dr. did is irresponsible and may be illegal (it would be where I come from). He probably doesn't want to be bugged for a while. But aside from that--PLEASE--go to a meeting! This is classic addict behavior.

carolm

In response to your friend who said that if 5 don't work neither will 20, I must say she's right but that doesn't mean an addict won't try it. The more pills I took, the less high I got. But, I took more and more waiting for the high.

There is a saying in AA:

"One is too many and a thousand is never enough"

I think this sums up the insidiousness of this addiction. Keep posting and take care.


Carol

hopealwayz

That is so true!

hopealwayz

Hi Paralysis,
How are you doing today?