wasted time ...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: hanover,PA
Posts: 15
wasted time ...
i feel like im a stranger to everyone i know ,im not really close to anyone cept my girlfreind and children, but i dont even know who i am . its kinda weird. ive wasted so much time being someone i dont think i like very much.
paul
paul
Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 16
i've been feeling the same thing this past week. i've wasted so many years of my life not feeling & drinking to make me more fun & give me more confidence & to avoid problems in my life. But today is a brand new day. it's never too late to start over. you can't change your past, but you do have control over your future. just keep moving forward & you will discover who you truly are. just don't look back!! 
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: hanover,PA
Posts: 15
thankyou everyone i hope i never turn back ive lost so much from party'in even somebody who was part of me , my son. he would be 26 now , i miss him every day. now sober i am really feeling a lot, it definitely sucks.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: fumbling towards ecstasy
Posts: 2,551
Hello and welcome to SR, Paul.
I know the feeling of not knowing who I am. I didn't know who I was, so I guess I never really expected others to know me. (Although that never stopped me from feeling hurt by that.
) When I came into the rooms of AA, I heard the phrase that there is a certain type of lonliness that only an alcoholic knows. Boy did that hit home! I could be in a room of 100 people and still be lonely.
Working the steps of AA has given parts and pieces of me back. Clean and sober a year now, I am still learning who and what I am. Also, who and what I am not. It is a process and it takes time. But there is hope and it does get better.
Glad you're here, Paul. Welcome home.
hugs,
Phinny
I know the feeling of not knowing who I am. I didn't know who I was, so I guess I never really expected others to know me. (Although that never stopped me from feeling hurt by that.
) When I came into the rooms of AA, I heard the phrase that there is a certain type of lonliness that only an alcoholic knows. Boy did that hit home! I could be in a room of 100 people and still be lonely. Working the steps of AA has given parts and pieces of me back. Clean and sober a year now, I am still learning who and what I am. Also, who and what I am not. It is a process and it takes time. But there is hope and it does get better.
Glad you're here, Paul. Welcome home.
hugs,
Phinny
Gobble, Gobble
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: california
Posts: 236
Hi Paul and welcome!! I know what you mean by "ive wasted so much time being someone i dont think i like very much." I felt horrible those first few days after I decided to quit. I realized in those days that I had become exactly what I never wanted to be.
That is neither here nor there now. I am feeling absolutely wonderful these days. I do things everyday other than drink. I sleep very well. I even exercised yesterday!!! That wasn't something I planned, but just felt like doing. My husband has seen my progress and is now trying to quit his own habit!! Now that was something I didnt' see coming. That my own quitting would have such a profound effect on my family!!
You're gonna make it if you've made it this far. Hugs to you and I am proud of you!
That is neither here nor there now. I am feeling absolutely wonderful these days. I do things everyday other than drink. I sleep very well. I even exercised yesterday!!! That wasn't something I planned, but just felt like doing. My husband has seen my progress and is now trying to quit his own habit!! Now that was something I didnt' see coming. That my own quitting would have such a profound effect on my family!!
You're gonna make it if you've made it this far. Hugs to you and I am proud of you!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: hanover,PA
Posts: 15
thanks to everbody,
ive always tried to every thing myself maybe i do need some help getting this done.its a dam shame i feel better talking to strangers than my own family.
thanks again,
Carol
Stefanie
Phinneas
ive always tried to every thing myself maybe i do need some help getting this done.its a dam shame i feel better talking to strangers than my own family.
thanks again,
Carol
Stefanie
Phinneas
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: hanover,PA
Posts: 15
4health,
thanks for relating to that ive been sober since 9-3-05 but it seems like i keep finding more and more things left unfinished. its driving me crazy.
thanks,and i hope i figure this bs out,thankyou again.
ps:did i say thankyou
thanks for relating to that ive been sober since 9-3-05 but it seems like i keep finding more and more things left unfinished. its driving me crazy.
thanks,and i hope i figure this bs out,thankyou again.
ps:did i say thankyou
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: New Focus
Posts: 687
Hi Paul
Glad your here!
I can identify with thinking about all that wasted time, its something I do and read about here at SR a lot.
I am trying now to stay in the here and now and focus on what I can do to improve. No use lookin' back unless it for learning.
And its no shame you feel comfortable talking to strangers, we alcoholics see ourselves in each other, we are individuals but all the same here in many ways, if that makes any sense...
Keep coming to SR and posting!
Glad your here!
I can identify with thinking about all that wasted time, its something I do and read about here at SR a lot.
I am trying now to stay in the here and now and focus on what I can do to improve. No use lookin' back unless it for learning.
And its no shame you feel comfortable talking to strangers, we alcoholics see ourselves in each other, we are individuals but all the same here in many ways, if that makes any sense...
Keep coming to SR and posting!
everything is already ok
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 19,789
Hi again Paul 
Welcome to SR, I am glad you started this thread, now we all get a chance to say hi and you get the welcome and support you deserve
By the way, there are loads of amazing anumals over here, so if you want some info ask away
nogard
Welcome to SR, I am glad you started this thread, now we all get a chance to say hi and you get the welcome and support you deserve By the way, there are loads of amazing anumals over here, so if you want some info ask away
nogard
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: hanover,PA
Posts: 15
hey nogard,thanks for making me feel more welcome i still feel really weird sometimes about almost every thing i do .its like im so cautious to make discions cause ive never givin as much thought to what i was doing i just did it no matter the outcome
everything is already ok
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 19,789
Hi Paul, your welcome. Stick around and SR will begin to feel like home
I take it one day at a time still and try not to live n yesterday or tomorrow, that helps my decisions and the anxiety about them.
I take it one day at a time still and try not to live n yesterday or tomorrow, that helps my decisions and the anxiety about them.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Philomath Oregon
Posts: 6
I am new here. Wasted time is definitely something I can relate to. I have four children and one part of me is a booster club member, school board member, and great mother. About every other weekend though I binge drink because the craving gets so strong and I spend the next week feeling like crap about it. You all know the guilt, shame etc. Right now I want sobriety more than anything in the world but am so afraid of failure. I used to drink much more in college and always trick myself into feeling like If I am only drinking a few times a month it can't cause any harm. WRONG ANSWER. I can not control the amount, that is all that matters. Wish me luck.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: hanover,PA
Posts: 15
thats the same as me i would go out every two or three weeks get loaded then smoke myself way up then snort my self way down then feel stupid for a week or two then do the same thing over, and over ,and over.... im glad i stopped i hope fur good .
wish you luck idont have any answers
wish you luck idont have any answers
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