jeremyfluoride

Hello, my name is Jeremy. Im 26 years old and Im from North Carolina, USA. I am a recovering i.v. opiate addict and Ive also had problems with alcohol. Ive used opiates since I was 16 years old and when I was 21 I got on the methadone clinic and stayed clean. Ive been off of the methadone since May of this year. Since then its been hell. Ive basically gotten through the physical symptoms but the mental is driving me crazy. At first I didnt know what was wrong. But now Im seeing a shrink. She says Im going through severe depression and ptsd. I wake up each day with this crazy nervous feeling with all this vervous energy in my mind but at the same time Im so weak that even taking my dog outside or sometimes just getting online takes alot of effort. There are alot of other things going on as well, I cant concentrate or stay focused. Before getting of the clinic I got my associate in arts degree and I was supposed to start my bach. in psychology in August. But because of all of this Im having to put that off. Because my memory is bad and like I said I cant concentrate or staty focused. I have slipped a few times and I resorted to alcohol in July in ended up with a dui and that has really not helped with my depression. But the good thing is since that night, I havnt had a drink and have no desire to. But the desire to use opiates is constantly haunting me. Im currently in intensive out patient treatment and Im going to n.a. meeting but they are not really helping all that much and I really just dont know how much longer I can deal with this depression and I dont know what to do. If there is anyone out there that has had similar experiences or have advise or support with me, I really need it now.
Jeremy

ASH

Welcome Jeremy!

I had many of your problems and symptoms when getting sober the first time after years of drinking and am going through it again now. I couldn't concentrate and my mind was racing constantly, I was even loosing arguments with myself! It got better for me day by day by day. I slowed down and could even take graduate class work again which would never have been possible if I stayed intoxicated. Hopefully I will do it again.

Your doing the right things. Stay in your treatment program and keep coming to this site. I have been here just a week but reading about others going though the same experience is helping me know I don't want to drink.

PS Keep your dog close, mine loves me no matter what and that feels great!

maricamp

I came to this site because my husband quit opiate pain killers 14 mos ago and is still going through what Jeremy describes: anxiety mind racing (looping) depression can't cencetrate or stay focused loss of memory and so on. Now he's on prozac and depakote and maybe sees some improvement. I came to this site wondering if all this was "normal" or is he has done some permanent brain damage. It's been hell for him. He also had an alcohol problem had quit that 8 months before realizing he was also addicted to pain killers so quit that too.

However he does maintain that he'd rather be going through this than go back to the pain killers or alcohol. He is determined that this isn't going to beat him and that he will get better.

Hang in there Jeremy. You're doing great it's just going to take a while.

maricamp

Oh and Jeremy better to be getting clean and sober while you are young---my husband is 50 and has a 20 year history of alcohol and 8 years of hydrocodone.

Ash I had to smile at your comment about the dog. I think it's the dogs that keep my husband going. He has a black LAB. a couple months ago I got a lab mix puppy for myself but my husband just curls up on the floor with that puppy and it brings him a lot of comfort! I think its his puppy now!

zorilla

hang in there;my friend used opiates for over 20 yrs and has been off them for over a yr now.he is taking an antidepressant that has really seemed to help him.

shockozulu

Was he that way before he used perhaps and not aware of it? I was. Nothing has helped much. I still "multi-task", and can't sleep without audiobooks or radio shows to keep my mind on something.

I'm also on Paxil, Prozac helped with the depression but didn't help calm me. Again, it depends on the person. Also, I have had to rely on 1/16th of a mg of xanax sometimes. That is one quarter of the smallest dose. This isn't enough to stop the racing/calm me down, but it is enough to enable me to do it myself down.

Again, this is what else I do, some may help, some may not. Take what you like and leave the rest.

During the day, when my thoughts race, I do a form of yoga deep breathing. I concentrate on my breath while I breathe in as deep and slowly as I can, hold it to the count of 5 and breathe out to the count of 5.

I don't drink caffeine unless it is for a headache. I don't each chocolate after 2 pm. Both will pep me up and keep me racing.

BTW, one or two of the breathing exercises anytime I am get the racing feeling helps me. It gives me something else to put my racing mind on.

Breakfast, eat slow. Avoid Coffee and tea of any kind.

Lunch, eat slow.
At lunch after I eat, I take at least 15 minutes and pull my car seat back if I'm not at home. If at home, I use the couch. I lay back, turn on the radio news and try to relax my body a bit. I do some deep breathing. This helps to keep it from getting too wound up throughout the day.

When I get home, I undress and do the same for 20 minutes before dinner. If not at home, I lay back in the car for the same amount of time.

About an hour or so before bed I stress my brain out for about 25 to 45 minutes. I need to work it to exhaustion. That may be homework I don't understand too well, or reading a military history book. But it must be something that keeps my attention for at least 5 minutes before I look up. This helps calm the "nasty" thoughts.

Then I move down to a easier book. Perhaps a bestselling novel, Stephen King etc. If it doesn't work, I go back to the school book for 10 minutes.

I get in my PJ's. Tell my body its near time for bed and time to start relaxing.

Then I go to TV and watch half an hour of junk. For me this is Forensic Files or the like. If this isn't working too well, I go back to the easier book for a few pages. Rinse and Repeat.

Now I'm ready to prepare to sleep. I go to bed, lay down do some deep breathing (holding it in, then pushing it out), and turn on either 1) Live 365 Old Time Radio Shows 2) Supreme Court Arguments (okay, so I'm a weird one).

I give it 45 minutes. If I'm still not asleep, I turn it off and tighten all my muscles 5 times at 5 seconds. I turn on talk radio for one hour on my transistor radio. I still lay down, eyes closed.

Then if I'm still not asleep I get up for half an hour, and then go back to bed, and turn on the LIVE 365.

Everyone can manipulate this to a large extent. But it works for me because it gives me many steps to slowly turn down my mind.

Also, the sleep schedule thingie takes up a few hours, helping me relax my mind for a good chunk of time.

Phinneas

((((Jeremy)))) Phinny, here. Opiate addict.

Yup, opiates really, really, really mess with the mind and body. I can't speak for other drugs, I can only speak from my own experience. I can tell you that during detox and for months after, going to the mailbox or doing the dishes was a huge effort. Mentally I felt like I was in a constant thick fog. The depression and insomnia were miserable. But you know what? It does pass. Honestly and truly, it does get better. It sounds like you have a great councelor. Have you read about PAWS (post accute withdrawal syndrom)? That may shed some light on what you're going through. Exercise helped me a lot, too.

Hang in there, Jeremy. You can get through this.

hugs,

phinny

maricamp

[QUOTE=Alera]Was he that way before he used perhaps and not aware of it? I was. Nothing has helped much. I still "multi-task", and can't sleep without audiobooks or radio shows to keep my mind on something.

I'm also on Paxil, Prozac helped with the depression but didn't help calm me. Again, it depends on the person. Also, I have had to rely on 1/16th of a mg of xanax sometimes. That is one quarter of the smallest dose. This isn't enough to stop the racing/calm me down, but it is enough to enable me to do it myself down.

WOW! that's quite a process you go through!

No my husband wasn't always this way perhaps ADD. but nothing like this. He doesn't have any trouble going to sleep but dreams really vivid dreams all night.
doesn't feel very rested in the am. I'm going to look closer at Paxil because the prozac does help with the depression but he has to take an anti anxiety med to get through the day.

thanks and hang in there . me

maricamp

[ Have you read about PAWS (post accute withdrawal syndrom)? That may shed some light on what you're going through. Exercise helped me a lot, too.


can you recommend a good sourse of info on paws? I'll try looking but open to suggestions. thanks me

maricamp

thanks phinneas for suggesting reading about paws. I found some gret info and reassuring too. My husband has been worrying that perhaps he has done permanent damage to his brain because when he quit hydrocodone he had read that it could take up to a year for the brain to realign itself. well it's been 14 months and he's still got all these symptoms. I just read that it can take 18 months and I also found some recommendations for supplements that can help ease the withdrawal help the brain recover----thanks again. this info is really what I came to this forum seeking! thanks me

Phinneas

Terrific! Yup, PAWS can linger. I was told in early recovery that it can take 2 - 4 years to be back to normal. But, like with most things, it depends on a person's body chemistry, their using history and all sorts of other factors. I am a year clean and sober and I still get mental fogginess. Tell him to hang in there and it will pass.

And how are YOU doing, maricamp? You hanging in there and taking care of yourself?

hugs,

phinny

abtchonamission

Hi Jeremy, and welcome to SR. Give the meetings some time, make sure that you get some phone numbers when you're there and USE them when you're having a rough time...support is important.

I can't offer a lot of advice, as I usually post in the Nar-anon forum. My addict is my fiance, he's talked about similar feelings as what you describe though, and my heart goes out to you.

Marion, hunh? Mike's last sponsor lived in Marion. Pretty area - we're in Asheville. Keep going to those meetings, and don't give up on you, okay? Use the things at your disposal - share about how you feel at meetings, get phone numbers from the men at the meetings and CALL them, get a sponsor, or if you already have one, work with him on your recovery. You can do this, as long as you truly want it.

maricamp

thanks for asking about me phinneas. I'm ok. I'm tired of this too. but hanging in there. this info about paws is actually encouraging now feel like there is light at the end of the tunnel. My husband is a little bit mad feels like he's been wasting his time with the phsyciatrist and taking neurontin and now depakote and dealing with the side affects of that on top of the other stuff.

thanks again for asking about me and I hope you are well and happy mari

maricamp

Jeremy if you are still out there: I hope you are hanging in there. Please let us know. mari

Opiatebetty

Hello,

My name is Jessica and I have a girlfriend who just stoppped taking opiates about two to three weeks ago. I've been reading everyone's posts and frankly you guys are scaring the begeezers out of me. She has all the symptoms that everyone has listed. Do you guys mean to tell me she is going to be like this for years??
How long do the physical withdrawals usually take?

Dee74

Hi OB

I'm not an opiate user so I have no personal experience to share but I think 3 weeks is generally still early days for recovery from any kind of addiction but I hope your gf will see some improvement soon.

I hope others with helpful firsthand experience will check in here.

We also have a substance abuse forum you may want to check out
Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

and a friends and family forum too
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...stance-abusers

Welcome to SR
D

Kmber2010

Jeremy - lots of good info here. I don't have experience with opiates but I have dealt with alcoholism and am working hard in my recovery so know that I am here as others and you have our support.

You can do this!