Trying Abstinence
Heather
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Flint, Michigan
Posts: 57
Willingness
Chip - Congratulations on your sense of surrender. . .and admission. . .it's the 1st step to a whole new way of life. . .If your open to the idea, you could try finding some AA meetings in your area. . .I was surprised at how many people told "My story" when I started going to meetings. . .I thought that I was a unique individual . . . and no one drank or used drugs as I did . . . no one was as bad of a person as I was . . .thats truly what I thought until I found these 12 step programs that showed me. . in NO way was I unique. . .we all share a common bond. . . Called "addiction" - "alcoholism" - "dependency", etc. . . . Please KEEP COMING BACK - and please remember that the only stupid questions - are the ones that aren't asked !!!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: some where / no where
Posts: 1,019
Thanks again, everyone. I'm really starting to feel normal, and "clear". I'm at work right now, and I'm feeling on top of everything. It's day 3 for me, and while I still feel a bit weird, I feel like a burden is being lifted. What was I thinking about going back to my "schedule" after one or two days of abstinence? I'm so glad I didn't pick up another beer, even when my body seemed to be SCREAMING for one. I feel like I'm coming out of a fog.
I had amazing, vivid dreams last night. I'm feeling pretty good today, and I will not drink at all. I will not drink tommorow as well. I am a stuborn guy, and I now plan on using this trait to keep me SOBER.
Liveandletlive My home beer fridge is now stocked with soft drinks. My wife will finish off the last of the draught beer. I don't mind watching her drink. At work, I've never had the habit of drinking at the restaurant, while it's open. I used to have a beer (sometimes 2 or 3) when I did the nightly book keeping....but tonight I'll have a soda water instead. Perhaps my bookeeping will improve?
Earlybird I've been practicing my own form of meditation, where I quietly reflect on my life and how I want to live. Thank you for your "tough love". You made me angry, but I was angry because you were telling me what I didn't want to hear...
Sobriety is the road I want to take, and I'm not going to give in. I will find a program of some sort to help me with my recovery. When I'm lonley and tired at night, I must not go back to my old habit. Now that I've had some "drying out" time, I hope it will be eaiser to say NO, and keep on the right track.
chip
I had amazing, vivid dreams last night. I'm feeling pretty good today, and I will not drink at all. I will not drink tommorow as well. I am a stuborn guy, and I now plan on using this trait to keep me SOBER.
Liveandletlive My home beer fridge is now stocked with soft drinks. My wife will finish off the last of the draught beer. I don't mind watching her drink. At work, I've never had the habit of drinking at the restaurant, while it's open. I used to have a beer (sometimes 2 or 3) when I did the nightly book keeping....but tonight I'll have a soda water instead. Perhaps my bookeeping will improve?
Earlybird I've been practicing my own form of meditation, where I quietly reflect on my life and how I want to live. Thank you for your "tough love". You made me angry, but I was angry because you were telling me what I didn't want to hear...
Sobriety is the road I want to take, and I'm not going to give in. I will find a program of some sort to help me with my recovery. When I'm lonley and tired at night, I must not go back to my old habit. Now that I've had some "drying out" time, I hope it will be eaiser to say NO, and keep on the right track.
chip
Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Charlotte,NC
Posts: 167
Good for you man.
Eat a bunch of sweets to help with the cravings if you still get them. Don't cave into the temptation of "one beer ain't gonna hurt" mentality.It's easy to do after you start feeling good. If you quit smoking, you can quit this stuff. But the key is if you really
want it. If you want it 100%, it can be done. If you don't, you will fail.
Eat a bunch of sweets to help with the cravings if you still get them. Don't cave into the temptation of "one beer ain't gonna hurt" mentality.It's easy to do after you start feeling good. If you quit smoking, you can quit this stuff. But the key is if you really
want it. If you want it 100%, it can be done. If you don't, you will fail.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: some where / no where
Posts: 1,019
Irishvirus
I've stocked up on gummy bears and assorted candies. I've been stuffing my face with sugar when cravings come around. I've very scared about the "one beer ain't gonna hurt" mentality. I've got to fight that urge tooth and nail.
I want to quit %100. I wasn't living up to my full potential when I drank so much. I want to be a sober person, and I want to do the right thing for my family.
chip
I've stocked up on gummy bears and assorted candies. I've been stuffing my face with sugar when cravings come around. I've very scared about the "one beer ain't gonna hurt" mentality. I've got to fight that urge tooth and nail.
I want to quit %100. I wasn't living up to my full potential when I drank so much. I want to be a sober person, and I want to do the right thing for my family.
chip
Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Anytown, USA
Posts: 1,019
Some nice unintended consequences of your sobriety are:
-Better sleep
-Clearer thinking
-More stable temperament (this one might take awhile, but trust me...it will be a nice change)
-less lethargy (have more energy)
-p
-Better sleep
-Clearer thinking
-More stable temperament (this one might take awhile, but trust me...it will be a nice change)
-less lethargy (have more energy)
-p
Late stage optimist
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Auburn, WA
Posts: 306
Originally Posted by chip
Hello folks,
I want to post here now because "cutting back" is no longer my goal. My new goal is to have REAL control over my addiction. I need to discover how to get that control. chip
I want to post here now because "cutting back" is no longer my goal. My new goal is to have REAL control over my addiction. I need to discover how to get that control. chip
Control is all about addiction. Recovery is about letting go of control. Get that concept straight and you just may stand a chance of succeeding in recovery.
:doh:
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: some where / no where
Posts: 1,019
Fuster,
That is a very, very interesting thing to say. "control is all about addiction. Recovery is about letting go of control". Where doe's this saying come from? I'd like to find out more about this school of thought. Is this an AA saying?
I guess the use of the word "control" could imply that I would somehow keep alchohol in my life....thinking I was the master and it was my servant. I may have used that word, "control", because part of me wants to win a war with booze. Part of me wants to win that war, and dominate booze as a prisoner. Part of me wants to switch roles with booze, and be in "control" of it. Part of me hopes that I will eventually be able to enjoy an occasional drink....someday after I get over my addiction. This would be ideal. It would be ideal if I could go to a pub and enjoy a pint every once in a while...with "control".
I'm glad you brought up that word, Fuster, because it isn't a good word for me to use here. I've been looking back at my drinking "career", and it looks like a rap sheet of sombody who shouldn't drink. I'm thinking that I should opt for abstinence over moderation......Because "control" is an illusion for me when it comes to drinking.
I know if I were to break my "abstinence trial" right now, and have a glass of beer.....It would be so easy to slip back into a situation where I am FIGHTING for control. Things are simple now, I am choosing not to drink. It's the end of day 3, and I will not drink tommorow.
chip
That is a very, very interesting thing to say. "control is all about addiction. Recovery is about letting go of control". Where doe's this saying come from? I'd like to find out more about this school of thought. Is this an AA saying?
I guess the use of the word "control" could imply that I would somehow keep alchohol in my life....thinking I was the master and it was my servant. I may have used that word, "control", because part of me wants to win a war with booze. Part of me wants to win that war, and dominate booze as a prisoner. Part of me wants to switch roles with booze, and be in "control" of it. Part of me hopes that I will eventually be able to enjoy an occasional drink....someday after I get over my addiction. This would be ideal. It would be ideal if I could go to a pub and enjoy a pint every once in a while...with "control".
I'm glad you brought up that word, Fuster, because it isn't a good word for me to use here. I've been looking back at my drinking "career", and it looks like a rap sheet of sombody who shouldn't drink. I'm thinking that I should opt for abstinence over moderation......Because "control" is an illusion for me when it comes to drinking.
I know if I were to break my "abstinence trial" right now, and have a glass of beer.....It would be so easy to slip back into a situation where I am FIGHTING for control. Things are simple now, I am choosing not to drink. It's the end of day 3, and I will not drink tommorow.
chip
Late stage optimist
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Auburn, WA
Posts: 306
Chip:
Control is mentioned in many different contexts of addiction treatment and self help groups. However, a common denominator among all addictions, regardless of what type, is the issue of control. We want control over our world.
Unfortunately for you, the beginner in this process tends to think a lot, try to "figure out" everything. That is what the alcoholic and drug addict does constantly. Living in the mind. Instead, focus on relaxing and making it through today, and have a support group you can go to where you live. Finding success in recovery seems at times a contradiction of terms because it requires you to reach out to others for help, all the time, maybe daily. Most of us are raised to be self sufficient, and that is reinforced in our society, where financial success and going out on your own are seeming rights of passage into adulthood in American society.
You will likely experience more anxiety while off booze or drugs than when you were actively drinking or using. Knowing this fact can help you cope with that. It eventually passes and it won't kill you. Thinking too much about it or any other event in your life may kill you because it may lead back to the bottle or pipe or pill or needle.
Control is mentioned in many different contexts of addiction treatment and self help groups. However, a common denominator among all addictions, regardless of what type, is the issue of control. We want control over our world.
Unfortunately for you, the beginner in this process tends to think a lot, try to "figure out" everything. That is what the alcoholic and drug addict does constantly. Living in the mind. Instead, focus on relaxing and making it through today, and have a support group you can go to where you live. Finding success in recovery seems at times a contradiction of terms because it requires you to reach out to others for help, all the time, maybe daily. Most of us are raised to be self sufficient, and that is reinforced in our society, where financial success and going out on your own are seeming rights of passage into adulthood in American society.
You will likely experience more anxiety while off booze or drugs than when you were actively drinking or using. Knowing this fact can help you cope with that. It eventually passes and it won't kill you. Thinking too much about it or any other event in your life may kill you because it may lead back to the bottle or pipe or pill or needle.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: some where / no where
Posts: 1,019
[QUOTE=fuster]Chip:
Control is mentioned in many different contexts of addiction treatment and self help groups. However, a common denominator among all addictions, regardless of what type, is the issue of control. We want control over our world.
This is what I want. I was living with a disability, really. Alchohol was disabling me. I'm seeking control over my life.
Unfortunately for you, the beginner in this process tends to think a lot, try to "figure out" everything. That is what the alcoholic and drug addict does constantly. Living in the mind. Instead, focus on relaxing and making it through today, and have a support group you can go to where you live. Finding success in recovery seems at times a contradiction of terms because it requires you to reach out to others for help, all the time, maybe daily. Most of us are raised to be self sufficient, and that is reinforced in our society, where financial success and going out on your own are seeming rights of passage into adulthood in American society.
I have been over thinking this before and since I started using this website. I do need to focus on relaxing. I am anxious, and my thoughts are racing. I feel a bit manic at times. When I was drinking, I was medicating myself. My mental and physical being are responding to my decision to quit. I joined this website because I need help and support of other addicts.
I am a firm believer in self sufficiency, and I get the impression that true recovery doesn't depend on it? I sure wouldn't have gotten this far (with mile yet to go) on the road to recovery without this website and kind souls like you, Fuster.
Thinking too much about it or any other event in your life may kill you because it may lead back to the bottle or pipe or pill or needle.
Your right. I think I'm going to try to get some rest now.
chip
Control is mentioned in many different contexts of addiction treatment and self help groups. However, a common denominator among all addictions, regardless of what type, is the issue of control. We want control over our world.
This is what I want. I was living with a disability, really. Alchohol was disabling me. I'm seeking control over my life.
Unfortunately for you, the beginner in this process tends to think a lot, try to "figure out" everything. That is what the alcoholic and drug addict does constantly. Living in the mind. Instead, focus on relaxing and making it through today, and have a support group you can go to where you live. Finding success in recovery seems at times a contradiction of terms because it requires you to reach out to others for help, all the time, maybe daily. Most of us are raised to be self sufficient, and that is reinforced in our society, where financial success and going out on your own are seeming rights of passage into adulthood in American society.
I have been over thinking this before and since I started using this website. I do need to focus on relaxing. I am anxious, and my thoughts are racing. I feel a bit manic at times. When I was drinking, I was medicating myself. My mental and physical being are responding to my decision to quit. I joined this website because I need help and support of other addicts.
I am a firm believer in self sufficiency, and I get the impression that true recovery doesn't depend on it? I sure wouldn't have gotten this far (with mile yet to go) on the road to recovery without this website and kind souls like you, Fuster.
Thinking too much about it or any other event in your life may kill you because it may lead back to the bottle or pipe or pill or needle.
Your right. I think I'm going to try to get some rest now.
chip
Getting Restored To Sanity
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Florida
Posts: 179
Originally Posted by chip
What was I thinking about going back to my "schedule" after one or two days of abstinence?
I am happy you are doing well with sobriety. And, just wanted to say the control is normal for us. You said it perfectly above. I believe to let go and let God is natural law. It was written in many books and scriptures and believed by many. I play golf and was reading an improvement book once and one chapter was titled. "To gain control, you must give up control." It not being carefree, but this concept takes away our stress of the outcome. We are responsible for the effort, not the outcome.
We should let a power greater than ourselves help us stay sober. Even if you are agnostic and believe in the big bang theory. Let's face it, you and I are not the most powerful forces on this earth. Whatever caused the big bang, was stronger than us. I know I can't accomplish that tremendous reality. Even if you don't call this force God, you can rely on all of us recovering alkies/addicts as a power greater than yourself. There is strength in numbers. You help us and we help you to stay sober one day at a time.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: some where / no where
Posts: 1,019
Hello folks,
It's day four, and so far so good. I'll post more later. I'm doing fine this morning, and I've even been distractied from thinking about this for a bit. I had wicked insomina last night, but very vivid dreams for about an hour this morning. I'm sure I'll get a good nights sleep tonight. I'm tired, but it's WAY BETTER than being hungover!
chip
It's day four, and so far so good. I'll post more later. I'm doing fine this morning, and I've even been distractied from thinking about this for a bit. I had wicked insomina last night, but very vivid dreams for about an hour this morning. I'm sure I'll get a good nights sleep tonight. I'm tired, but it's WAY BETTER than being hungover!
chip
Miss Behavin'
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: regina,saskatchewan
Posts: 966
(((Chip)))
way to go!!!!
honesty, openmindedness, willingness
are the keys
its a tough road my friend
i have faith in you!!
i refuse to go back to how i was living
i love being sober today
if i can do it, so can you
give up control to get control
yup
surrender to win
i'm proud of you!!!
hugs, Wendy
way to go!!!!
honesty, openmindedness, willingness
are the keys
its a tough road my friend
i have faith in you!!
i refuse to go back to how i was living
i love being sober today
if i can do it, so can you
give up control to get control
yup
surrender to win
i'm proud of you!!!
hugs, Wendy
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Lancaster, NY
Posts: 90
Hey Chip,
I've enjoyed following this thread. It took me back to when I first decided to try to quit drinking. WOW, if you could see how my life has changed. How I have changed. I have never been this happy or this free in my entire life. With the help of AA, I have the opportunity to be the person I was meant to be. It's so simple.....much easier then being drunk everyday. I've learned Gratitude, Humility, Trust, Faith and a bunch of social skills I never was taught when I was younger! It's a good life!!!
I've enjoyed following this thread. It took me back to when I first decided to try to quit drinking. WOW, if you could see how my life has changed. How I have changed. I have never been this happy or this free in my entire life. With the help of AA, I have the opportunity to be the person I was meant to be. It's so simple.....much easier then being drunk everyday. I've learned Gratitude, Humility, Trust, Faith and a bunch of social skills I never was taught when I was younger! It's a good life!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: some where / no where
Posts: 1,019
Jaguar, requiredfeild & wantneeda,
Hello friends! Thank you for posting here. I have an open mind to anything, and I will start up with a recovery program of some sort, very soon. After the 30 days, I will not go back to my old ways. I want to find something to replace the booze in my life, something better. I am seeking, but I'm still licking my wounds......
I am having a pretty nice day so far. The sun is shining, and I feel good to be sober.
chip
Hello friends! Thank you for posting here. I have an open mind to anything, and I will start up with a recovery program of some sort, very soon. After the 30 days, I will not go back to my old ways. I want to find something to replace the booze in my life, something better. I am seeking, but I'm still licking my wounds......
I am having a pretty nice day so far. The sun is shining, and I feel good to be sober.
chip
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
This has been an enlightening and encouraging thread. Thank you for posting what works .... and maybe what doesn't.
Chip - thank you for your honesty and forthrightness (is that a word?) in this thread. I keep rootin' for ya!
Chip - thank you for your honesty and forthrightness (is that a word?) in this thread. I keep rootin' for ya!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Livonia, MI
Posts: 675
Originally Posted by chip
Earlybird I've been practicing my own form of meditation, where I quietly reflect on my life and how I want to live. Thank you for your "tough love". You made me angry, but I was angry because you were telling me what I didn't want to hear...
I knew all along why you were angry. Thats why I felt I HAD to keep going. We alcoholics have got to go through our arsenal of excuses before we give in and give up drinking. I know I did. I lied and said I quit. My girlfriend lived with me at the time. I was telling her I wasnt drinking, but all along, I was hiding bottles of whiskey all over the apartment. Under the towels in the linen closet. Under the bed. Behind the entertainment center. Even downstairs in the community laundry room behind the wash machine. Yeah........back then I LOVED doing the laundry. INSANITY. Just remember to take it one day at a time. In AA, we try not to ever say "I wont drink tomorrow" We have no way of knowing what tomorrow will bring,...so we focus on "the now". Ive heard this one:
You're too late for yesterday,
You're too early for tomorrow,
You might as well work on today....
We all need each other.
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: The road of happy destiny.
Posts: 2,294
Originally Posted by chip
Hello folks,
It's day four, and so far so good. I'll post more later. I'm doing fine this morning, and I've even been distractied from thinking about this for a bit. I had wicked insomina last night, but very vivid dreams for about an hour this morning. I'm sure I'll get a good nights sleep tonight. I'm tired, but it's WAY BETTER than being hungover!
chip
It's day four, and so far so good. I'll post more later. I'm doing fine this morning, and I've even been distractied from thinking about this for a bit. I had wicked insomina last night, but very vivid dreams for about an hour this morning. I'm sure I'll get a good nights sleep tonight. I'm tired, but it's WAY BETTER than being hungover!
chip
Just wanted to reiterate what an amazing and wonderful thing you are doing for yourself. Glad you are sharing this journey with us. I hope you will stick around.Hugs--
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: some where / no where
Posts: 1,019
Dear Bigsis, lauralu and earlybird (and anybody else who is reading this)
I really do have to focus on today. Things were going great. Now, I'm feeling a bit depressed. I'm having a difficult time at work with some difficult people. My youngest kid is ill, at home with his mother, and the older one is "helping me" at work. I've got a headache.....and you know what? I am craving a drink. I keep thinking back to the promise I made myself when I woke up this morning....I will not drink today.
I guess that's what you're talking about, earlybird....living for today? Tonight, when I have more time, I will continue to reasearch recovery programs.
INSANITY: impromptu all night keg beer parties with whomever is willing. INSANITY: taking the "backroads" home at 4am from another city after a long night at a bar. INSANITY: ruining christmas by picking fights with family members.
INSANITY: puking behind the garage at 9am, as my wife chats with the cleaning lady.
INSANITY: "scheduling" my daily drinks and "cutting myself off" at the end of the night.
INSANITY: having a drink tonight or thinking I can be a "normal" drinker again.
You were right, earlybird, and I didn't get down to the truth untill I was willing to quit. I came here knowing I have a problem. However, I came here unwilling to quit. I quit on sat. sept 24th because I felt guilty about breaking my "schedule" the night before. It was meant to be self punishment, but it turned out to be the best thing I could possibly do.
I've been avoiding caffeine today with the hopes that I'll sleep better tonight. I will not have a drink tonight, no matter what!!!
chip
I really do have to focus on today. Things were going great. Now, I'm feeling a bit depressed. I'm having a difficult time at work with some difficult people. My youngest kid is ill, at home with his mother, and the older one is "helping me" at work. I've got a headache.....and you know what? I am craving a drink. I keep thinking back to the promise I made myself when I woke up this morning....I will not drink today.
I guess that's what you're talking about, earlybird....living for today? Tonight, when I have more time, I will continue to reasearch recovery programs.
INSANITY: impromptu all night keg beer parties with whomever is willing. INSANITY: taking the "backroads" home at 4am from another city after a long night at a bar. INSANITY: ruining christmas by picking fights with family members.
INSANITY: puking behind the garage at 9am, as my wife chats with the cleaning lady.
INSANITY: "scheduling" my daily drinks and "cutting myself off" at the end of the night.
INSANITY: having a drink tonight or thinking I can be a "normal" drinker again.
You were right, earlybird, and I didn't get down to the truth untill I was willing to quit. I came here knowing I have a problem. However, I came here unwilling to quit. I quit on sat. sept 24th because I felt guilty about breaking my "schedule" the night before. It was meant to be self punishment, but it turned out to be the best thing I could possibly do.
I've been avoiding caffeine today with the hopes that I'll sleep better tonight. I will not have a drink tonight, no matter what!!!
chip
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