Notices

I need some advice, please

Old 09-25-2005, 08:48 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Jacksonville, NC
Posts: 1
I need some advice, please

Ok, not sure where to start.

My mother is addicted to prescription drugs and could quite possibly have severe depression and anxiety problems. She knows she is addicted and she knows she needs help, but so many things stop her from getting the help she needs.

She currently cares for my two younger half sisters. They are 10 and 8 years old. Her first concern is that if she admits to haveing a drug problem, they will be taken from her. Now let me be the first to say, me haveing been raised by her myself, that her children always, always come first. She takes these drugs so she can get herself up everyday to work her ass off for the money it takes to feed and clothes my sisters. Her second concern is money. She's a self employed housekeeper and works extremely long and hard days, almost every day of the week. But she is barely making ends meat. She has no insurance to speak of because she is self employed.

But she just turned 40 and she barely tops 95lbs on the scale. She never eats and is constantly getting horribly sick, like heinous sinus infections and cold that just won't go away. She needs help.

I find it hard to believe that in this country someone in her situation can't get help. Surely there must be someway to help her without having her childern ( her only reason for living) taken away or putting herself into further debt.

Please, she really needs help. She will die within the next five years if something isn't done. I myself, can't afford to even help her finacially and the rest of our family....well that's a whole different story.

Please, I need some information. Some hope that maybe there is a way to help my mother. To get her the help she needs.

So, please, any information on the legalities of such things or maybe a website or hotline number that I could call would be so greatly appreciated. Any information of how the financial aspect of this stuff works would also be greatly appreciated.

Thank you.
Psyoxy is offline  
Old 09-25-2005, 09:12 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
the girl can't help it
 
splendra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
((((Psyoxy))))

Welcome! There is hope for your mom! Especially if she is ready to get help. I would think that the Salvation Army would be a good place to visit. I am not certain but I think they have a web site. They are big into recovery related programs.

Is there nobody who could help with the kids? Could you take charge of them? I bet they are good girls. You don't say how old you are and what you are doing with your life so I don't know how much you could help.

If an addict is not ready for help it is kind of like beating your head against a wall to try and force them to get clean. I hope she wants help it is out there. I am sure there will some people along soon who know more than I do though hang in there!!
splendra is offline  
Old 09-25-2005, 09:14 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
JUST DO IT!!
 
Luckyv2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Here Or There
Posts: 7,612
Psyoxy

Welcome to SR and we are glad that you have found us, I have never been down the road of treatment of any sort really and I came from a addiction of 3,000 dollars a week on a good week LOL. I know that it is not easy but she can get off of the drugs if she wants to, she has to want to do it for her. I hear that she is scared cause she might loose her kids (true) but the kids won't have a mother if she dies.

There are programs, most treatment facilities that would take her in and they even let you pay like $20.00 a month or whatever, they are not really in it for the money, they are there to help. I have no experience there so I should say that but that is what I have heard. I do know that if she really wants to be clean and sober, all she needs to do is don't use, go to meetings, get and use a sponsor, work the steps and read the literature. I do know that works cause it is working for me. Glad you are here.

Love Vic
Luckyv2 is offline  
Old 09-26-2005, 10:57 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Heather
 
got_2loveme's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Flint, Michigan
Posts: 57
You might think about trying to contact the state in regards to this. . .I have been to treatment centers before . . . and I know that there are people that came into treatment that was completely state funded. . .I don't know to much about the laws of the state that you live in. . .But I'm kinda forced to believe that almost all states must have some kind of similiar funding . . .

As far as the kids goes. . .I don't want to shatter your hopes. . .but my experience proves that it took my daughter being taken away from me. . .do to my using career. . .for me to do anything about it. . .And this was after having been through a treatment center & hospitalized 3 additional times in the course of 10 months before her dad took her for a visit & didn't return her under the agreement that we had made with one another.

There truly is hope, for me I had to be willing to ask & accept the help that was lying at my feet. People can do alot for me when it comes to helping me. . .but only I can become willing. . .no one can make me willing. . .My motives this last time that I went through treatment - were wrong - because they were about going so that I could get my daughter back. . .and "i'm gonna show that a**hole". . .but soon after I got to treatment. . .I had what I like to call a spiritual awakening & found God as I understand him. . .true God reliance & serving him. . .for me today is what has helped me recover !! I have adapted the 12 step programs on AA & NA to my life . . . it is my life today . . . because it is what my Higher Power has giving me guidance in. . .I must say that God could & would if he were sought. . .thats what my experience has shown me. . .because I have had many relapses - because I wanted to do things my way. . .I have proven myself failure - everytime that I do things my way. . .I think that you can talk to your mother without shoving anything down her throat. . .(we usually rebel when told what we NEED to do or what we SHOULD be doing) . . . possibly just try to have compassion - but be honest. . .and see where it goes. . .however, don't be devestated if in fact she is just completely againest any of it. . .she will find it in time. . .right now God is carrying her. . .

I hope that I haven't offened anyone by using the word God as often as I have - this is only MY Experience, Strength, & Hope. . .
got_2loveme is offline  
Old 09-26-2005, 11:37 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
On a tear
 
BigSis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
Hi Psyoxy!!! Welcome to SR!

First - Here is a link to all Alanon meetings in your area...
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meeti...hcarolina.html

NORTH CAROLINA
Local Al-Anon Information: If your city is not covered in the listings below, look for “Al-Anon” in the business white pages of your local phone directory, or call 1-888-4AL-ANON (1-888-425-2666 for meetings in the USA, Canada and Puerto Rico, Monday – Friday, 8 am – 6 pm ET).

CHARLOTTE - Al-Anon Info Serv of Metrolina (704-523-1159*) 4800 Wedgewood Drive, 28210, www.supportworks.org/info/al-anon.htm

GREENSBORO - Al-Anon Information Service (336-332-0090) PO Box 10274, 27404-0274

^RALEIGH - Al-Anon/Alateen Service Office (919-787-1653) 3509 Haworth Drive, Suite 107, 27609, www.alanon-alateenservicesnc.org, <[email protected]>

WILMINGTON - Wilmington Al-Anon Info Serv (910-509-2380*) PO Box 12706, 28405

WINSTON-SALEM - Al-Anon Info Serv (336-723-1452*) PO Box 26062, 27114-6062, www.wsalanon.org, <[email protected]>


Second, a website for your county in NC that might have resources you can use:
http://www.nchealthinfo.org/resource...o=0,264,67,0,0

Your mom can find many reasons, quite valid reasons, to not pursue help for her addiction. As you have already figured out, if she does not get help, she WILL be abandoning her children and leaving them without a mom or any resources, yet she still resists.

There is no one who can "force" your mom to receive treatment. What YOU can do is get the kids to Alateen - if they are old enough, and get YOURSELF to Alanon. I know it sounds weird - helping YOU when your mom is the problem, but I was amazed at how helping ME helped me to think better, to be more centered and to be able to apply my energy in a way that was actually helpful to the addicts in my life.

There is a Naranon and Alanon forum under the Family and Friends area of this site. Many, MANY people on those forums have been through, or are going through very similar situations to yours. I urge you to pop down and visit us... read a few threads and maybe post one of your own in an area where there are folks who are dealing with this every day can help.

I wish you the best....
BigSis is offline  
Old 09-26-2005, 02:34 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Livonia, MI
Posts: 675
Originally Posted by got_2loveme
You might think about trying to contact the state in regards to this. . .I have been to treatment centers before . . . and I know that there are people that came into treatment that was completely state funded. . .I don't know to much about the laws of the state that you live in. . .But I'm kinda forced to believe that almost all states must have some kind of similiar funding . . .

As far as the kids goes. . .I don't want to shatter your hopes. . .but my experience proves that it took my daughter being taken away from me. . .do to my using career. . .for me to do anything about it. . .And this was after having been through a treatment center & hospitalized 3 additional times in the course of 10 months before her dad took her for a visit & didn't return her under the agreement that we had made with one another.

There truly is hope, for me I had to be willing to ask & accept the help that was lying at my feet. People can do alot for me when it comes to helping me. . .but only I can become willing. . .no one can make me willing. . .My motives this last time that I went through treatment - were wrong - because they were about going so that I could get my daughter back. . .and "i'm gonna show that a**hole". . .but soon after I got to treatment. . .I had what I like to call a spiritual awakening & found God as I understand him. . .true God reliance & serving him. . .for me today is what has helped me recover !! I have adapted the 12 step programs on AA & NA to my life . . . it is my life today . . . because it is what my Higher Power has giving me guidance in. . .I must say that God could & would if he were sought. . .thats what my experience has shown me. . .because I have had many relapses - because I wanted to do things my way. . .I have proven myself failure - everytime that I do things my way. . .I think that you can talk to your mother without shoving anything down her throat. . .(we usually rebel when told what we NEED to do or what we SHOULD be doing) . . . possibly just try to have compassion - but be honest. . .and see where it goes. . .however, don't be devestated if in fact she is just completely againest any of it. . .she will find it in time. . .right now God is carrying her. . .

I hope that I haven't offened anyone by using the word God as often as I have - this is only MY Experience, Strength, & Hope. . .

I was state funded ( Michigan ) when I went into in-patient treatment. Funded for 30 days. I had ZERO insurance. I too,...thought I wouldnt be able to get help due to lack of funds. I found that it was actually very easy to get the help I needed. The children thing though,.....it may be that you HAVE to go into IN-patient treatment. That means living AT the treatment center for 20 days or a month or whatever. Arent there any relatives that could act as legal guardian for you??
earlybird is offline  
Old 09-26-2005, 03:38 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Still hangin` on...
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: MA
Posts: 337
Number one--does she have health insurance? That should cover the cost of treatment. Can you or anyother family member care for the kids while she is gone? If those are covered then she should be ok. As long as DSS isnt involved already she shouldnt have to worry about losing her children. When I finally admitted to myself that I was out of control and needed help, that was my biggest fear--I COULD NOT lose my kids!!!!! But I came clean with my family and they took care of my kids while I was gone for 28 days in detox/rehab. I was lucky--I never got into trouble. She sounds like she really needs to go through a program. She needs all the support you can give her right now. And that goes the same for you!!!! Keep coming back and posting--lots of great people here for you--and her--let her know about this site!!!!!!!!
Good Luck!!!! You`ll be in my prayers!!!!
Ann
Ann25 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:48 AM.