IWanttoStop

Most nights I drink between 1/2-pint to a full pint of bourbon. I have done so for about five months.

I want to stop. I did so in the early spring when I was lambasted by the flu. I spent four days/nights in bed, under the influence of narcotics.

I had about a week's window. Then, I started drinking again.

I have researched about at-home detox programs.

But, first, I researched out-patient programs affiliated with re-hab centers. I got the spiels until I told the clerks that I had no insurance.

What can I do? I want to quit drinking. I wonder about at-home detox. When I went through it while I had the flu, I was asleep most of the time.

I have no money. I cannot rely upon state fund because this will trigger a hunt for my ex-husband for child support. (He beat the hell out of me during our short marriage; he demanded I terminate the pregnancy, and he tried to kill me while I was pregnant.)

Perhaps I should give temporary custody to my parents. But, the state will require that an entry of a foreign order be placed. My ex will be notified.

How many more obstacles do I have to plead?

Dammit.

I want to be free of the physical addiction to alcohol.

Kylah

im not sure where you live but there are some tretment centers that dont charge usually at hospitols.I am sorry your having such a hard time.I too WAS a daily drinker intell 4 days ago,however not new to the program of recovery wish i lived where you do to help you out. if you need to talk you can get me here or at [email protected] you dont make it threw the night tommarow is a new day with new hope.

fuster

Well, lets take a look at your logic here. You fear your ex beating you up or killing you, but you want to kill yourself by continuing to drink? Does that make sense? Doesn't to me.

Seems to me you can easily obtain the protection you need through the legal system right now by obtaining a no contact order or other such instrument that is used in your jurisdiction. Does dad work? Well, he does not want to end up in jail, most likely. He also has to find you, and if you apply for assistance you can request that your personal information be kept from him. There are plenty of other tools at your disposal if you are serious about getting help and you dream of a better life. The start is for you to start dreaming of things being better, and that sounds like the hard part for you.

Have you attended any sober recovery support meetings, like AA? You can get one on one help that will support what you are doing if you ask for it at those meetings. Shop around for the meetings you feel comfortable at. Keep going, they work.

CarolD

Welcome to SR!

Please check out the top sticky in our Forum Alcoholism..."Quitting wha to expect"

The Salvation Army has an exvellent free recovery program...and it is anonymous.

I could quit often but to stay quit...and enjoy sovriety...I needed to have AA. Works great for me!

Keep in touch...you are not alone...we can recover.

Irish Virus

Detoxing at home can be done. That's the way I did it. Quite frankly I'm somewhat surprised after the fact how many people actually go to a facility to get off booze. I thought that was reserved for drug addicts on a street corner.

My advice to you on getting this monkey off your back at home.

First and foremost you must realize that you can not do this alone. If you are religious, pray to God and ask him to come into your home and give you the desire to stop drinking. If you have a good friend, have him/her spend a lot of time with you for the first three days. Having someone to talk to is the greatest thing in the world to keep you from going nuts.

Second, think about nutrition. Try to eat well, but make sure you are stocked up on sweets. Your body will crave sugar like never before, but turn into the cookie monster if you have to because it will help stop the shakes. Drink OJ like it's going out of style and lay off drinking a bunch of coffee.

Third, try to get rest. If you can get two hours of sleep, you'll be doing better than me. You might be tossing and turning but you need to sweat the crap out of your body with rest.

Fourth, pour every bit of booze down the drain. Leave no stone unturned. You don't need temptation.

In your situation, I would let your kid stay with the folks for a few days. It's less tension and you don't want to snap or something which is easy to do. Remember, after 3 days the crazy urges will leave and you'll have this thing licked. After that, it's going to be in your brain for a long time, but you can do it.

Luckyv2

Just want to welcome you to SR and each day is a new day try and remember that just like I had to wake up this morning and I have to remember that yesterday is gone, I can not change anything, and knowing my luck LOL I would mess it up.

Love Vic

Kellye C

Hi there. I second what Irish said. My drinking habits are what you described. Usually a pint of bourbon a night during the week with a hell of a lot more on the weekend when I didn't have to try to get up and drag to work. You CAN detox at home. It's not fun and in fact it is hell but it CAN be done.

I detoxed in my living room recliner. I could not stand the idea of being in my room because that is where I did my drinking in secret. Secret, hah, some secret when I had to stumble out to the bathroom. What I went through were days of the shakes, I would jump at the slightest thing, I had anxiety attacks, I was irritable, I dry heaved, I crapped black tarry stuff. It was awful but I got through it by telling myself that I never had to do that again if I didn't want to. 13 1/2 months later I remember it like it was yesterday and I don't ever want to forget it lest I am doomed to repeat it.

Hang in there, you have tapped into an awesome support network. If you are anything like me you are not going to be getting much in the way of sleep. I read a lot, watched tv and went to AA meetings and worked. Working was awful as I had a high stress job but I had already missed so much due to my drinking that I was in danger of losing it. I was terrified of having too much time on my hands anyway so I NEEDED to stay busy.

I am pulling for you and just know that if you want it above all else, if you are truly sick and tired of being sick and tired it CAN be done. After about 4 or 5 days the physical stuff is pretty much behind you, you just have to then deal with the mental aspect of it. Meetings and online support can be invaluable to you. Also, as Irish said, keep plenty of sugar handy. If you can eat ice cream, eat that as your body processes that similar to how it processes the sugar in alcohol. My SO has over 16 years sober and has used that many times with his new sponsees who were sobering up.

Good luck!

Kellye

P.S. I just survived hurricane Rita and did it sober!! I learned a lot about my recovery during the past several days which I will share under another post but I made several meetings and being in the company of other alcoholics was invaluable to me. You can stay sober regardless of anything in your life if you want it badly enough!

fuster

Alcohol is the one drug that people DIE from detox. No one on the web can accurately assess your need for medical supervision, only someone who assesses you face to face can do that. Don't die simply because you read something on the web that you like to hear.

earlybird

Not all alcoholics are on the same level. I tried detoxing at home. It almost killed me. Do you know that (and this is a solid fact) 1 out of 1000 people die of herione withdrawl? HERIONE. Thats nothing compared with the 1 out of 33 people who die from alcohol withdrawl. Drinking a pint of bourbon everyday for 5 months is the kind of drinking that you need medical assistance from to detox. As I mentioned, I tried it at home and saw and heard things, had 5 seizures, lost all motor skill function, fell down several times, couldnt stand for more than 30 seconds without collapsing, and my heart stopped for 45 seconds in the ER when I finally called 911 (which I had to have my neighbor do for me because I couldnt dial a phone)

So yes,....drinking a three or four beers every few days may call for an at home detox, but not a pint or more of whiskey or bourbon a day for five months.

Kellye C

My God earlybird! Reading that I realize how very thankful I need to be that I detoxed at home without dying! As I posted, I was a pint a night during the week and more on the weekends. Thank you for opening my eyes. No longer will I tell anyone that they can do it at home. If someone CHOOSES to do it at home I will share my experience, strength and hope but that will be it!

I am glad you got through it alive and as I said, it gives me a whole new appreciation for the fact that I am alive as well!

Hugs,
Kellye

Irish Virus

early is right. See a doc if you start freaking out or become ill.

I forgot to point that out that the DTs can kill. I found out after the fact that this crap is dangerous if you either have a weak constitution or drink a lot.

I drank at least a case of beer a day plus an occasional margarita binge for 1 1/2 years straight. I was perpetually drunk and lived to see another day after detoxing at home. I guess everyone has a different constitution.

And early if you don't mind me asking, how much did you drink if you went through that while detoxing?

earlybird

I drank a half gallon of whiskey a day at the very end and washed that down with two or three 40 oz of beer,...but my substance abuse Dr. told me that anyone of average build who drinks a half pint to a pint or more a day for 3 or more months will experience some form of dangerous detox symptoms. He said alot of patients didnt even know that they were within an inch of their lives and didnt even know it. He said the heart can stop at any moment when its shocked with the lack of booze. He also said you feel okay one moment and your dead the next. Thats why its deadly serious to get to the hospital to detox. The seizures alone can kill you. I had one in the shower one night and and woke up 10 minutes later in a pool of my own blood. I had cracked my head open on the shower faucet nozzle on my way down. Another night, my girlfriend found me on the kitchen floor in another pool of blood. I had fallen into the fridge while I had it open and the crisper drawer was open. My back hit it and tore a huge gash down my back and side that needed 38 stitches. I heard symphony music in the middle of the night. When I would go to my window to see where it was coming from it would stop. When I laid back down,...it would start up again. The wierdest thing was that I seemed to be able to control it in my head. I could add drums,...hold notes longer....it was plain as day to me as if I had the stereo on,.....but I could manipulate it just by thinking. Hallucination. Scary. All this and more can be yours if .....the price is right !!!

Kellye C

Wow!!! It's been a while now but I think the things that I remember most were the shaking so hard that my teeth would chatter, sweating and feeling like my heart was going to explode through my chest and not being able to draw what felt like a good breath. I would just sit there and cry I was so miserable. In between all of this I would stumble to the bathroom on legs that would barely carry me and just retch over the toilet. Nothing to come up as I couldn't eat. It was horrible and I'm so very glad that it is over not to be repeated unless I choose to pick up. Looking back now I wish I had had medical help but I had no insurance and didn't feel it was an option for me. My mom and my AA group pulled me through all that and I will never forget them. Each day was a little bit better and today over a year later things are great compared to how they were. I would do the half gallon thing on the weekends and OMG Mondays became hell days for me as I tried to scale back to my pint a night while at work puking and shaking. That is when I started going home at lunch for maintenance drinks to get me through the afternoon. Looking back now it is a wonder I kept my job and a bigger wonder that I never was stopped for DUI or worse caused a wreck. My life was unmanageable and definitely insane and utterly ruled by alcohol!

earlybird

Yeah,...for me, it started with an uneasy skin crawling feeling. Then a slight feeling of panic and desperation. Then once the panic started the anxiety got worse. I couldnt walk steps, dial a phone, or get dressed. Pure hell. My brothers and my Mom were bedside with me at the hospital when I couldnt catch my breath during one of my DT attacks. The nurse tried to help me with routine methods but I saw a look of SHOCK on her face, then she turned to my family and yelled "Ok,...I need all family members to clear out,....GO GO GO GO!!!...." As my family was herded out, they were passed by the shock paddle machine coming in. Thats the last thing I remember until waking up looking at my brother who looked like he had been punched in the face 50 times. His face was so swollen up from crying. He told me they had to "jump start" my heart back to life. He said they all thought I had died. This is alcoholism folks. If you even THINK you may have a problem,....DONT challenge booze. You arent strong enough to win. Alcoholism will win everytime. Just get help to quit.

superfec

i'm going through pretty much the same thing, but on a much milder basis. thanx for the ice cream tip, k.

Justme57

I was like you kellye, I drank 2 L wine , and 14 -16 cans beer ( Aussie beer LOL) most days, and more on my days off. Like Irish , I had no idea of the danger, so just stopped , I was aggitated, shaking , sweating, and could not sit still. I couldn't concentrate, and I worked too, which was very hard.

I had to keep myself occupied, and went to AA meetings , sat here and posted on SR , couldnt read, which is my favorite time filler. I drank Litres of water,paced up and down, and DID NOT SLEEP!

That was 2 1/2 years ago, and , like you Kellye , I never want to forget where I came from

HUGX
Lee

mysz

doing home detox is very hard and dangerous. i managed it once in london, UK and once here in australia. BUT!!! you need assistance. i had a nurse visiting me daily and giving me valium and taking my vital signs, etc. don't risk the seizures, shakes. honestly, i had more luck with residential detox places.