not worth it
 

I have been sober for a little over 3 months now and i am not sure it is worth it, I have no freaking job, no money, no nothing, when i thaught things were starting to look good they crash on me, I dont know what the deal is, I am just sick of it all. Sory if this sounds like i am whining, I just dont know anymore.

Hi okietiger,

Congrats on your 3 months Sober. Thats the keyword I think "Sober", sorry your having a tough time, but I know that if I pick up things will only get worse not better, how about you?

Hang in there and do whatever you can to keep on one day at a time. Do you have face to face support? If so, why not make good use of that.

Thinking of you.

nogard

yes the first months of your soberity... really your first year can be quite hard on a person... but if you stick with it... it will pay you back ten fold! i've seen it. and i cant wait until i get it. remember you really only have up to go and picking up will only bring you down even further! get to those face to face meetings get a sponsor and pick up the phone!!! work your program for all its worth!! you'll be amazed with the results

((((Okietiger))))

You know I don't always know if it is worth it with all of the struggels that we have to go through, but no one said that it would be easy. I had a taste of it once and I gave it up in Aril of 2004, I have struggled ever since that day. Right now I have pulled together the most time since then and still today it is not easy (although it is easier than it was 3 months ago) but I don't know if I want to start over again. That is to say if I live this time, I have been told also that I might be dieing, SO. I am not scared to die hell that is what I have been trying to do for years, but God won't let me, what does he want I have no clue, but today I am trying to make the most of everything that I have and that I don't have. Just hang in there and if you ever need to talk you can PM me or go to my profile under members list and I do have MSN and ***** messenger. OK just try to focus on recovery that seems to help with the other stuff, at least is does for me.

Love VIc

i just tried to call my sponsor, nobody answered oh well, i'll get through this I hope, i just wish it would be easier, i knew it wouldnt be easy but i never thaught it would be this hard.

Thanks vic, I just added you to my msn buddie list of thats ok

You are welcome hey why don't you try to make the on line meeting tonight here that would help and if you need to talk just holler.

Loud
Love vic

Yeah that goes for me too, I have MSN and you can pm me.

Vic where is the message saying the meeting time? I wanted to bump it :)

nogard

there is a speaker meeting tonight here that i might go to. and maybe there will be one here when i get home

and thanks i do appreciate it I am starting to feel a little better, maybe all i needed was to vent a little

And what would change if you relapsed?

You woild still have no job and no money.+ feel like crap. :rolleyes:

Catch ameting....Pray
Read your past post for a refresher course. :wink3:

Blessings...

I just bumped it Kevin look under new post that is where I found it

Love Vic

Around the 3 month period I started to get really busy (still am) working on all levels, physical, emotional, spritual and practical. I started sorting out money and working on my sprituality as well as getting a sponsor, attending as many meetings as I could and so the list goes on. At first I thought it was all hard grind with some really difficult days, then gradually I relasied that I hard started to get used to some of the great things in recovery, like waking up feeling so good, being able to hold my head up whereever I was. I realised that these things where starting to become part of my life.

So I think its not so much that it gets more difficult, more that I moved into a new phase, so now I remember to celebrate everything including the mornings and how good I feel just walking down the street, it helps as I get into the work I need to do for my recovery.

Love Kevin

Ah yeah Vic, I saw the one in the Chat forum, I was looking for one in the Newcomers :)

Kevin

Hey Tiger! Imagine that! All the walls around you come crashing down to your foundation. Much to your surprise and disbelief, you are still standing. Still standing...

Consider the following:

Impetus -
An impelling force; an impulse.

Momentum -
1. Impetus of a physical object in motion.
2. Impetus of a nonphysical process, such as an idea or a course of events.

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition
Copyright © 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company.
Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Newton's Primary Law of Physics states:
1. An object at rest tends to stay at rest, unless force is applied to it.
2. An object in motion tends to stay in motion, unless counter-force is applied to it.

Now, you're probably saying ''WTF does that have to do with recovery!?''

It has A LOT to do with it, actually. When we're active in addiction, our minds operate on compulsive energy. In recovery, our minds are free to operate on the more dynamic impulsive energy.

On a personal note, aside from the metaphysics pondering, I have no job, no money, no girlfriend [damnit!], nothing.

I do have my sobriety. That's really all that matters. I'm utterly clueless about a lot of things, especially why I keep pressing onward. I gave up trying to figure it out, because it only makes me more confuzled.

I can't stop. NO FREAKIN BRAKES, MAN!! I'm powerless. My Higher Power won't let me quit.

That, my friend, is a good thing. Don't give up giving up. ;)

wow thank you all for the words to make me feel better, I just got home from my AA meeting, which kinda sorta helped but you all's words helped alot more. It seems weird I always get these thaughts on saturday night. Why is that? lol The urge is gone now and I know my sobriety is the most important thing, and in reality drinking again is not a option for me.

OMG Okietiger I made a post that Using Is Not An Option and you know what I was dead set on that but after I read what people said I came to believe that it is an option but I choose not too today..... Glad that you are here.

Love Vic

to me its not a option because if i drink again i will die and i dont want to die at least not like that. If that makes sense.

Glad you are feeling better!!

Hugs,
Missy

Today was a eye opener for me, I woke up feeling kinda down again, sat around the house wishing i wasnt in the situation i am in. Tehn the phone rang and my dad was wanting my help with something from 5 to 7 tonight, i didnt really know what was going on so I said yea sure i'll help. Dad picked me up and we went down to a old feed store that was empty and he said that their church is sponsoring about 10 families displaced from Katrina. There was already some stuff in this building and there was a pile of stuff these people were able to grab when they evacuated, they didnt have much at all. for the next 2 hours car after car truck after truck came with items which they were donating to these families to get their lives back together, there was so much furnature, clothes linens etc by the time we were done we had filled this old store and it was a really nice size store.

It made me realize all this feelig sad for my situation was pointless and how lucky I have what i have. This is the first time I have volonteed for omething like this and i cant describe the feeling i am feeling at this moment. I know that if i was still drinking I wouldnt of done this and i am so grateful that i was part of this.

Damn it feels great being sober.