Welcome to SR, Kiffiejet!
You've come to the place for support. There will be many here to welcome you and to help you on your journey.
It might be best to remove your email address. This is the internet, and anyone can see it. Although SR is a safe site, anyone can visit.
I'm wondering why you think she is drinking? I mean, her behavior doesn't sound *normal* (whatever that means), but, is there any other reason you would suspect drinking? Has she had problems before with drinking? Have you suspected drugs? Or is it true that she's really busy? Are you having marital problems that she would want to escape from?
I pray that is not the case. But, if she is drinking, there is bound to be evidence. Bottles or cans left around or stashed in strange places. The smell would be evident too. Have you spoken to her about these thoughts?
Whatever she is doing, there is still the possiblity of peace for you and your children. In alanon, we learn to put the focus on what we can do for ourselves and of course, the children. We learn that we can't make someone else do anything, but, we can set our boundaries to protect ourselves.
We didn't cause this; we can't control it and we can't cure it. But, we can learn to cope with addiction. At SR, you'll find many to help you learn to cope, and then to thrive.
Hope to see you here often as we both grow in our recovery.