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Wondering what to do next...

Old 09-08-2005, 03:38 AM
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Location: Monore, NC
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Wondering what to do next...

Hi,
I've been reading here for days and finally I don't feel so alone.
My husband of 4 years is addicted to alcohol and drugs. We have two small children 4 and 2 1/2 and I have no family in my area.
I knew he was a drinker when I married him. We both worked in a nighclub, him a DJ and myself a server. Drinking is the accepted norm there even on shift.
There were signs throughout our marriage that his drinking superceded just social drinking. He'd bring home wine and I'd have a glass or two and then I'd find the bottle plus his own empty beer bottles in the trash in the morning. Then he'd bring home two bottles of wine.
Finally he didn't come home one night.
I yelled, screamed, and was so hurt and angry he would disregard his family like that. I told him to leave. He spent about a week away and me being naive to his disease, after the apologies let him come home. That lasted about one year.
Last week he didn't come home again one night. I again told him to leave which he did and went to our mutal friends home. We attend an AA meeting together, and he went alone twice. I "think" he remained sober for about two weeks, but last week he fell again. This time I missed my college class since he would watch the kids while I attended school.
He is no longer living in our home and I'm trying to detach with love. Can anyone give me some adivce as to whether I should allow him to visit with the children? Would it be better or worse? He is not physically abusive, and continues to provide support for us.
I just feel numb.
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Old 09-08-2005, 03:42 AM
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Hi there hon and welcome to SR. You're not alone anymore - there are lots of us here who are living or have lived with an alcoholic.

Pop down to the Friends and Family boards and have a read around, especially the sticky or "power" posts.

I don't have any kids myself, but lots of people here do, so why not do a new post down there and someone will be along who can answer your questions.

Glad you've found us.
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Old 09-08-2005, 03:45 AM
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Thanks
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Old 09-08-2005, 08:24 AM
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I have absoulety no expertise on this, but I think both the kids and your husband need to visit. As long as he is sober during the visit I would think it is a good thing.
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