Dead Poet

Whoa-what a blow....tonight it was as if I almost looked outside of myself and saw why i used so much......so much stress and crazziness and no support from the family made me turn away from my friends because i didn't want to be a complainer i was always the happy one...........but holy crap everything came down on me tonight............one of the biggest things is my future and basically i'm screwed if i don't set up my own future.

These emotions are raging, scary, and I don't want to feel them, but i am.....because im not using. I don't know if i will tomorrow or the next day or next month, i'm seriously tackling LIFE instead of my 'depression' which was only cause by the drinking..one step at a time. I'm dealing with other peoples issues a little better, i stil notice that ialways want to give advice but no one ever listens, so one of my newest advice lines is, your smart i know you will make the right decision. Or, it's your decision to make i hope you do whats right. I aam SOO SELFISHLY focusing on myself and i will continue to do so because I AM IMPORTANT .

Thanks! Vent- ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Love B

Midas

Ahhh, your first ''out of mind'' experience! Gotta Love 'em.

jpeace2

B, that is not a selfish attitude at all, it's self preservation (in my humblest of opinions). Codependency is such a big part of the addiction process, especially when our family is the root of our own dysfunction, it's not uncommon for addicts to also be caretakers. Trouble is, when we are trying to "caretake" people as screwed up as we are, they don't listen or appreciate our help any more than we did when people tried to help us!! I've been going to Naranon in addition to AA, to deal with the "other" half of my addiction and it has helped greatly. Now I do focus more on myself and less on others, and I have a line very similar to yours that brings me great peace when I say it.

Hang in there......and lean on us if you need to.....Love, Genie

Hopefloats

B...Self-caring and self-love and self-preservation is not being selfish. GOOD for you! Keep going forward, I see that light shining!!!!
(((hugs)))
Hopefloats