alliecat72

thanx midas, your a doll....and deg,i didnt think it was possible.(sober a week)...but im glad ive listened to all of you.....how are you midas? and deg? whats going on with the both of you? and yeah denise, i got the coolest dance around......

Midas

I'm doing OK. I didn't sleep last night either, if it's any consolation. My sleep pattern & bio-clock are totally screwed. Some nights I'll be out cold for 12-14 hours, and the next, I'll get just 2 or 3 hours. Oh well. One thing that really frustrates the Holy Hamhocks out of me, is my short-term memory. Granted, I'm not getting any younger at 38 and part of that memory loss is due to aging. I swear though, I'll be at my computer like I am now, and from out of nowhere, I'll draw a complete blank. WTF was I just doing?? Sometimes I'll sit and rack my brains for 20 or 30 minutes. Or, I'll go for a walk...then it dawns on me...when I get back...Cripes! WTF was I just thinking??

Anyway...

degadar

Hi allie,

I'm fine thanks. very busy at work as always - just coming out of the summer dead-zone into normal panicmode and making loads of changes - well, because we like making changes. It's hard for a lot of people here who see change as a bad thing. But almost anything can be improved in some way, shape or form - it's a mission.

I don't think about drink very often at all now - even when I'm in a situation with drinkers. It doesn't occur to me that I might ever want to drink again now. For the first year, there was the thought that one day I would be able to have a drink, then it moved to plans to start drinking once I was 65 and become a very rude drunk old man (lifetime's ambition), but now that's not there either.

I still wake every morning and am thankful I don't drink, and when I see people who are drinking I think "Thank god I don't HAVE to do that". I miss wine with my cheese a lot, and I used to be really proud of my varied corkscrews and bottle openers that are in a drawer in the kitchen. I haven't opened that drawer in over a year, and I wish they'd just go away.

Into the second week now allie - I bet you're feeling a few benefits now.

Deg.

nogard

Hi alliecat,

Ho you doing? I enjoyed chatting to you the other day, I came back but you had gone. I hope you got some sleep.

nogard

wingsfree

Hi everyone

Ahhh sleep, I still have big problems with it myself, it's certainly annoying, it's after 4 am here, got tired of jumping around in my bed, but I'll gladly put up with that then a dreaded hangover.

How you doing today Allie? you're doing it girl a WHOLE week, smiling here.

Another little tip...I found for me in the early days of sobriety, not to focus to much on your sober days, it was like an added pressure, for others it's a good thing, depends on the person.

Here's a site to keep track of your sober breaths and days, I don't mind using it today...it shows I have 2928608 breaths.

http://www.barefootsworld.net/sobertime.html

Putting my heart back in my chest, sitting here laughing, glad I was up, I just heard a loud noise outside, only me and my little dog here, he's barking like crazy, there's a raccoon in my bird feeder, he knocked it right over, went outside and told him to git git git, phew he's messing with my serenity, lol.

Oh dear now what was I thinking, speaking of short term memory Midas, I'm drawing a blank now, and I ain't a youngster like you.

Well Allie I'm having a major brain freeze now it happens when Rocky the Raccoon messes with your serenity he was cute and all....but

Keep up the good job, you've got two good guys on your side here, which you already know Midas & Degadar good teachers.

Deg is right about making changes, I agree some don't like change, but you pretty much have to in order to stay on track. I'm sorta having trouble with that one, I'm not afraid of change, my age is making it harder for me, you know what they say, It's Hard To Teach An Old Dog New Tricks....and don't you dare tell me to roll over...hahaha, ok ok dangle a chocolate bar in front of my nose and I'd probably do it.

All kidding aside, I can't begin to tell you how worth the bit of a fight it is in the beginning is to sobriety, I can tell you how sad I feel today that I've waited to long to get help, always figured I could do it ALONE, some of us are stubborn, don't like getting help...we seem to think we can do everything alone, which is stupid on our parts, there's all kinds of help, so many people that want to help, and I'm soooo happy you're here today reaching out for that help, a lot will tell you face to face will be needed, I agree, I went to AA the first two months a couple times a week....I stopped going and hope I've not made a mistake, I'm not ruling it out, just not for me right now, to darn emotional figuring that's hormones plus.

Take care of yourself, I look forward to hearing from you every day now. This journey is a tough one, but it's one that WE will WIN, and together, yepper.

Lots of love, hugs.....Denise sober happy dancing today,
Ok it's a bit early, but what the heck pssst I like your dancing dude too Allie

nogard

hi wingsfree,

Thanks for the link I have

110 days
2659 Hours
159549 Minutes
2792589 breaths

lol

I am often here at this time of day as its 7pm for me.

nogard

alliecat72

morning guys...hope we are all well today. everyone sounds like they are doing great. i think maybe the worst of the symptoms have passed....we just gotta get this sleep thing under control. did i ever sleep last night!!!!!.....i havent slept like that in a loooooooooooonnng time, (and i'm still sitting here yawning!) i was really tired yesterday though. ahhhhh, midas.....memory loss.......i'm not really that old and i do the same thing. good to know you are doing ok though wtg midas! im glad your doing well too deg, staying busy is always a good thing....how's that saying go about people with idle time? anyways, its a good thing to know that the point will come when you dont think about having a drink. i still think of it....but, i guess thats only because it was a routine thing, and i have to change my thinking patterns. change is good, change in a positive way usually equals growth so im all for it[email protected] are so funny! i so look forward to your post as you usually have some silly something to say that will bring a smile. so you got your heart back in your chest ok huh?you need to post a sign to let rocky and his friend know when visitng hours are over...lol ! i have 7 days sober which =177 hours, 10641 minutes,186253 sober breaths, cool.!!!!!!!!!!!!! actually no nogard,.....thats the night i ended up staying awake all night, but im thankful you were online for me to chat with even for a little while... well, i hope all of you have a great day,......hugs to all

Midas

You really think so?

An excerpt from My Personality Profile (Myers-Briggs):
<basefont>INFPs are usually talented writers. They may be awkard and uncomfortable with expressing themselves verbally, but have a wonderful ability to define and express what they're feeling on paper. INFPs also appear frequently in social service professions, such as counselling or teaching...or for a change of pace, they may resort to whipping the jester into submission.
I'm an X-Type (exact 50/50) on the 4th indicator; Judging vs. Perceiving.

My Patron Goddess is Psyche, Moon in Aquarius (Astarte), Arch-Memesis Hekate.

Don't Worry......Be Happy!
http://www.klub-odgik.org.pl/bajerne/be_happy.swf
(A Cute Shockwave Flash to the tune of Bobbie McFarrin's Don't Worry, Be Happy)

degadar

Lol Midas,-

INTP here - Look that scary mother up. We're not that far apart on that scale. I wonder if there have ever been mass personality typings done to determine the prevalence of alcoholism against those tables.

Deg.

Midas

INTP, eh? introverted-intuitive-thinking-perceptive. It's a RARE personality configuration, comprising only 1% of the population.

Logic dictates the NT's every breath. You are a classic thinker and a mental tinkerer.

Actually, we are more opposite each other due to the Thinking versus Feeling.

wingsfree

Uh oh, Midas has a whip...lol

A Personality Profile, oh I'd love to see what is says about mine. What do you need? my birth date?

If you needing measurements and such, it ain't gonna happen, LOL, I might have to lie a bit....after I'm done lying, I'll look just like Cindy Crawford....lol

Midas

There are quite literally thousands of type quizlets and personality tests on the Web. The main site I use for reference;
http://www.typelogic.com/

There are some fun tests out there amongst all the serious typology (MBTI & Jung) tests.
http://directory.google.com/Top/Scie...onality/Tests/
This link brings up a vast selection.

Most of them don't use any of your physical characteristics.

The majority of the tests center on four axis or indicators, each axis having two equally opposite traits.

Extroversion vs. Introversion (are you an innie or an outtie?)
Intuitive vs. Sensing (mental stimuli as opposed to physical stimuli)
Thinking vs. Feeling (Head vs. Heart)
Perceiving vs. Judging (esoteric abstract values vs. tangible concrete values)

alliecat72

hey i took the test.....im ENFP....... about 3%of population are ..hey what u tryin to do with that whip?????lol....hey im gonna start my own little thing here...ALLIES QUOTE OF THE DAY..."Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat"-Theodore Roosevelt


joke of the day......Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells
Luther, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this
year I'm gonna do it a little different!

The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years
ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earline got pregnant.

Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Earline got
pregnant again. Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earline
didn't get pregnant again."

Luther asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year that's
different?"

Billy Bob says, "This year I'm taking Earline with me."


hope at least one of those made someone smile today....hugs to all

Kellye C

ISFP here!!!! We use Meyer's Briggs here at work a lot so glad to know that others know about it!

Allie, keep up the great work. I am SO proud of you girlfriend. You can do it!!!

Big hugs,
Kellye

alliecat72

thanks kellye,......well guys on to day #9, yesterday was pretty easy. its the first day i have had that i have not actually craved a drink.....(know the feeling? the one where you can actually almost taste it?)......denise my funky lil dance is improving........:....yes, midas i think you have been an awesome teacher, both you and deg have given some really great advice. deg, isnt your trip to paris coming up this weekend? and nogard i'm ok, thanks for checking on me, i appreciate the other night....

quote...."our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall"-confucious


hope u all are ok.......hugs

degadar

Hi allie,

You're doing so well. I hope there are loads of people reading this thread to see how well you've tackled getting sober for the rest of your life. It's a wonderful thing. You just keep sticking at it and there's so much better stuff to come. I read here somewhere that its going to take a month for every year you've been drinking to get as close to straight as you're going to be - and that feels about right. Makes sense that we can't undo (20+ in my case) years of brain and body abuse overnight.

I'm sure I stopped growing up mentally at the age of 16 when I first started sinking stupid amounts of drink. I've had a lot of catching up to do over the past 2 years.

It's not until next month that me and munchkin go off to Paris for our jolly. Looking forward to it - got a very me-centred time coming up actually - am off on holiday on my own for a week later this month doing what I really love doing, and getting a new car as well. All exciting big-boy stuff.

It's like christmas --- but without the hangover.

Take care. Deg.

wingsfree

High five girl you're doing it, lots have read your thread 749 so far, full of encouragement...yipppeeeee. You got lots of spunk, I love it.

Take care Allie, enjoy your weekend, dance and sing your heart out, I always do, might look silly, but I'm usually alone, lol, ok ok me and my little dog, he loves dancing with me, I ain't kidding. My son always says the little dog is a marshmallow, then I remind him who raised him...

Love ya....Denise

Winginit

WOW you sound exactly like how I was and felt. It's sooooo hard for you right now, I remember. Very glad you're doing this now. I was like this and couldn't stop on my own or with just AA. It got worse and worse and made it for almost a year past the point you're at until I almost died and ruined everything, and I mean everything, in my life. My withdrawals were really bad, I can't even tell you. And there were at least 6 really bad ones. Rehab helped because they can make you more comfortable through it. My brain was so pickled it took about 2-3 months before I started to stop shaking and before I started to think clearly enough to pass as normal in public.

The most important thing I can tell you is part of the brain dysfunction also causes the depression, on top of the alcohol, and so things seem hopeless and irreparable. But this is generally NOT TRUE. The two things that struck me in my 1st few months of sobriety were that 1) I feel so good physically!! and 2) my life isn't ruined! Life gets good again really fast!

I have no words of wisdom but lots of good thoughts and prayers for you.

alliecat72

hey deg, thats awesome, a vacation to yourself?????i could only dream of it....lol! a new car too? dannnnnnngggggg! im envious ...lol what kind of car did are u getting?......we will be getting a new car as soon as we sell my b/f's .... wow!....i guess my brain is gonna take forever to get back to normal then..... ....denise....you brighten my day soooooooooo much. i'm spunky?.....i'll bet you define the word itself! thanks for the smile today....u got your dog in on your little dance? how cool.!.....we need to have a dance party.... ....winginit, your thoguhts and prayers a re so appreciated, i honestly dont know where i would be right now if it had not have been for all of the people here....they most certainly have been the backbone of my support. i would love to know how you are, no matter if you have no advice to give. we always, ALWAYS learn something from others....even if its that we'll be ok. i'm okay so far today....i am a lil bit edgy......but thats something that has been coming and going. so, i'll deal with it the best way i can. hugs to all, and have a great weekend!

degadar

I had a look around and decided to get something that would release as much carbon dioxide as possible to try and raise the temperature in the UK - just a few degrees - that would be very nice.

So I'm getting a huge overpowered 4x4 thing. Completely un-necessary I know - but It's what I fancied and quite useful too. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

I've never had a holiday to myself before - The marital disharmony would have been too much when I was drinking. There were plenty of times when I got thrown out of the house for a week and slept in the car - but not what you'd call a holiday!

Into double figure days for you now then? Keep making a point of relaxing whenever you can and make the most of being able to breath deeply and feel good. You can never tire of that feeling. It's great.

Deg.