Michelle37

Well, it's day 8 folks...and I'm still here! Yesterday was a little rough in patches, for a couple of reasons. The first being that around noon, Kurt had to take me into Emerg again because I was spasming really badly and in a lot of pain. We got home from there, and Kurt had to basically just drop me off at the house and run off because he had this thing in Edmonton last night that he could NOT get out of. (It takes about two hours to drive to Edmonton from our house.)
So I was sort of home alone for a lot of the day alone...which was hard for me. BUT....I didn't use, and I really didn't think about using!! (Alone being a subjective term...I still had the little ones to keep me company! )

Then, when Kurty boy got home, we had a late supper together! Now, that may not sound like much to you guys, but it really is because I haven't sat and eaten without being forced in I don't even know how long!! Kurt was so happy I thought he was going to cry, and he just kept saying "I'm so proud of you, baby." It felt really good to have him saying that instead of "Oh baby...you're so sick! What are we going to do?" (Which is ALL he has been saying for this past week!)

So today, for the first time, I feel better!! I have a lot of you folks to thank, like Anna, who will always hold a special place in my heart for helping me that really tough day he found out about the oxy's. Big Sis...your words have given me so much comfort and hope...you will never know how much of a difference you both have made in my life. Live, thank you for speaking your mind, and not being afraid of being honest. Marteen, thank you for just being there and offering your prayers and support. Marj...thanks so much! And Dangerous Dan...your avatars made me laugh so hard!! This place has given me so much support, and even a wonderful sponser that is helping me to work a good program.

So today I'm okay, and I'm starting to feel like there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and maybe it's not a train! Kurt has been so good to me through this, and now I am working hard with my sponser on a written step one...which I have never done before. I feel like this is possible for the first time, and I have so many of you to thank for that. Just having you all to talk to and offer your advice has meant so much to me. NOCELLPHONE has given me such a feeling of peace, just through his posts, and Graceseeker, who shared her own pain with me. All of you have been so wonderful. I really think I can do this now...I really think I don't have to die from this. Words just aren't enough...thank you thank you thank you!!

Michelle.

Time4Change

Hey Michelle! What a positive, beautiful, uplifting post to read this morning! So happy to hear things are going well and that Kurt is being so loving and supportive. That's great news! And good job for getting a sponsor and starting Step One. It IS a lot of writing, isn't it? But so well worth it in the long run. I'm really happy for you. I hope you'll continue on this crazy rollercoaster ride of sobriety and keep us posted along your journey.

~T4C~

Anna

Michelle

This is such good news! I am so glad for you and your family that you feel so much better. It sounds like this is really a turning point for you.

And, don't forget that you have helped all of us here at SR, too!

Keep posting.

Love, Anna

nogard

Hi Michelle,

Great news. Its so uplifting to read this this morning. I am glad your feeling and seeing the benifits of being clean/sober

nogard

Michelle37

Thanks a lot guys! It's good to know that you all care so much, certainly that is what has kept me going this long!!
Kurt's ex is coming over to pick up the little one today, and I just hate that idea. She is Gabe's biological mother, so she has every right...but it's still hard to let go. I'm just really happy that I have the program today to get me through this, because today I don't need to chew on Oxy's to get through the stick woman coming to the house.

nogard

Hi Michelle,

Maybe you could do something else while she comes over as it sounds like it will only be a quick visit. You could keep out of the way or go for walk or something else, better than stewing about it as that only hurts you.

nogard

ellaweezee

thanx michelle for happy tears today! im on my 10th day & yes, it feels great also! Im proud of you & your accomplishments & for the support you have! I have 'happy tears' in my eyes after reading your thread,eventhough i dont know your face or much of your story im moved just the same!!!! Keep smiling

Baileys23

How did you quit? I've been addicted to opiates for about 5 years then I quit for a year and a half. Then 4 mos. ago I started up again. I don't understand how people can quit and be all happy about it. The first time it took me a year of being a hermit and feeling like total **** every day to get back to my normal self. I really don't want to go through that again. Any advice. Anyone? Thanks a lot for listening.
~Caitlin

Michelle37

Caitlin,
Please don't give up! I had to have the help of my husband and the guidance of my sponser. Also, I am an MS Sufferer, so there are times that pain relief is still necessary, even today.
I understand what you mean about feeling like ****, and I understand totally about not wanting to go through that again. I mean,you feel like a** for the first week or so, at least!
Here's my best advice for you. Use Motrin for the fevers, neo citron for the runny nose and legs cramps, and muscle relaxants for the muscle spasms. That's about all you can do. You will still go through hell for a short time, but if you use the meds I've laid out you will not feel as horrid. Just remember, it's a week...anyone can do anything for a week.

Michelle.