Having another meltdown
 

I was feeling pretty good, snd then I went do the dishes, and when I got to the spoons I bugged out. I could smell the drugs cooking, and I...... I don't know what to say I just bugged out. i went for a walk, but know I am feeling crappy again, and I am scared. Right now I am at my moms. I came here to clean myself up. I am going home in 6 days and I am really worried I will go right back to running in the streets. I keep telling myself , if I keep up with the coke I will be dead soon. I am not old, but to old to be consuming coke till my heart feels like it is going to pop out of my chest. And doing it over and over, and not eating for days. I can't do it anymore. I can't stay here forever I have to go back home, but it is dangerous for me. I live alone and with no support I don't know if I ill be able to behave. Besides telling me to go to a meeting does anyone have any other advice? Meetings are OK, but they don't last for 24 hours!! HELP

Hi Bfree,

Well, I would suggest you make a plan for when you return home. You have 6 more days with your mom, then what are you going to do? For me, I had to change my patterns and routines, sometimes a lot. During the times when I would have been drinking I had to force myself to do something else, something specific. You can walk the dog, exercise, watch a good movie, have a bubble bath, make cookies - do something to take your mind off the coke, even for just a short while. It works!

Coming online to SR is always good for me too. There is always something inspirational to read.

Love, Anna

Make connections with a few members of a ladies' group meeting. Be blunt. Odds are likely one of them will offer to visit with you when you're about to go apeshit over doing the dishes. :) They may even wrestle you out to go enjoy some fun activities.

51Anna when I come home I start school again. This is my last semester, and I will have my BA. I am worried I won't make it through the semester. i am hoping school will keep me occupied enough to stay off the drugs. I am unemployed at the moment so I will spend as much time as possible on campus. I am 44 so I really think I need to finish Iam already a slightly behind schedule. I am hoping to graduate beforeI am old enough to retire. Keeping myself busy will be helpful, but I am worried about the down time.

Beth

Midas you made me laugh thanks!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey no prob. Welcome Always! ;)

Hi bfree, hang in there keep laughing, read this posts here again there is good advice and can I be wrestled to the ground by ladies too? :bananadan :bananadan :bananadan

44 is young, get to some meetings, as many as you can.


nogard

sure nogard I will wrestle you if you want, but you better be careful. I am slightly angry right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lol bfree, I hope your ok as well :)

nogard

Free...

yup... I'm thinking as well that you need a plan...
and I think it would help immensley if you would start picturing yourself as the success your going to be when you get home...
creative visualization is a tool for me...
I think myself up an outcome that would be pleasing to me... and HP sanctioned of course... and I put my energy into that...

for one.. it gives me hope where my other line of thought gives me none...
it also gives me a road map to follow when the going gets hard...
cause trying to think up a better next step when I'm all messed up doesn't work very well.


Free... we have some control over our minds... so.. I'd exercise that to it's fullest extent...


glad to see you still dealing with all this...
you hang in there...
it does get better...

(((free)))
praying for you Free