Notices

am i alone?

Old 09-27-2005, 02:39 PM
  # 61 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: somewhere
Posts: 3,384
I'm praying for you honey. Keep talking about your feelings. Do not let them stay bottled up.
hopealwayz is offline  
Old 09-27-2005, 04:04 PM
  # 62 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
sad_lonely_tear's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: wichita, ks
Posts: 36
thanx for letting me know that all of you care... it's just i feel so empty without her... and i didn't even make it in time to say good-bye... it's eatting away at my heart
sad_lonely_tear is offline  
Old 09-27-2005, 04:12 PM
  # 63 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
sad_lonely_tear's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: wichita, ks
Posts: 36
megan,
how do i now say good-bye... i miss you already. i'm sorry i didn't make it in time. why did you ask for me before you died? it makes it hurt so much more knowing you needed me and i didn't make it. i'm sorry. i'm sorry. i'm sorry.
i should have never moved... maybe it wouldn't have happened. me not believing in god makes this difficult... where are you now?... you were a strong believer so i guess if there is a such place as heaven you're there. i hope so... maybe your life is better somehow. i love you sooooo much.
i went to your funeral today. i didn't even get to see you. "closed casket" i wanted to say good-bye. but most of all i'm selfish for wanting you here. i can't be strong without you. you were the crutch for my sadness... you kept me from cutting. i cant do this without you. i miss you. why can't you just come back?!?!?!
I know you can't... and i'm sorry even more that you can't.
i love you so much... and please if it's possible... well send me a sign letting me know you're ok...
I'll love and miss you forever and in my heart you will live.....
Cristin
sad_lonely_tear is offline  
Old 09-27-2005, 09:16 PM
  # 64 (permalink)  
JUST DO IT!!
 
Luckyv2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Here Or There
Posts: 7,612
Originally Posted by sad_lonely_tear
i love you so much... and please if it's possible... well send me a sign letting me know you're ok...
I'll love and miss you forever and in my heart you will live.....
Cristin
Tonight I was sitting here alone like usual and the strangest thing that I saw, I saw a light in the dark almost like a falling star but it was more thank that I know, it was the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen. Now I donno if this is a sign but it sure brought some needed happiness my way, and I just thought that I would share it with a friend of mine.

Love Vic
Luckyv2 is offline  
Old 09-28-2005, 07:09 AM
  # 65 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
sad_lonely_tear's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: wichita, ks
Posts: 36
vic....... i'm crying now.... this morning before the sun came up... well it was cloudy and drizzeling... i was sitting outside on the frount porch getting some air... well the craziest thing happened i saw like 3 shooting stars... right in frount of the clouds and lightning... i think that was my sign...
sad_lonely_tear is offline  
Old 09-28-2005, 07:12 AM
  # 66 (permalink)  
JUST DO IT!!
 
Luckyv2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Here Or There
Posts: 7,612
Just want you to know my friend that I believe that there is some sort of mistical power out there and he is talking to both of us right now. CAN YOU FEEL IT (((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))

Love Vic
Luckyv2 is offline  
Old 09-28-2005, 11:16 AM
  # 67 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
sad_lonely_tear's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: wichita, ks
Posts: 36
I don't really believe in the whole "mystical power" thing but i do believe that there was a sign... i took a nap today and had a dream about my friend megan. she told me to stay strong and that everything would be ok. so today i went through a bunch of stuff that i still haven't unpacked and found lotz of things of our past together... it brought back so many memories that i had forgotten... i talked to her mom earlier too. she found letters and notes from when me and megan were in high school that she had kept... she's sending them too me. i think re-reading them will help.
god i miss her so much. and i really wish she was here...
i hope time will heal my pain.
sad_lonely_tear is offline  
Old 09-28-2005, 11:23 AM
  # 68 (permalink)  
JUST DO IT!!
 
Luckyv2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Here Or There
Posts: 7,612
Time will help my friend I do know that much and I am glad that you got the sign that you believe in
Luckyv2 is offline  
Old 09-28-2005, 06:32 PM
  # 69 (permalink)  
knucklehead
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: earth
Posts: 694
Sad, I am so sorry for the loss of your best friend. I am at a loss of words but I do know the loss of friends in death. You were blessed with a sign. Take care
kckman is offline  
Old 09-30-2005, 09:38 AM
  # 70 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
sad_lonely_tear's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: wichita, ks
Posts: 36
i've gone so long w/out self-injury. last night i broke down... 35 cuts.... i think one might of needed stiches but hell what do i know i'm not a doctor... i just want to be left alone... my family doesn't understand that. i'm going insaine....
sad_lonely_tear is offline  
Old 09-30-2005, 09:51 AM
  # 71 (permalink)  
JUST DO IT!!
 
Luckyv2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Here Or There
Posts: 7,612
Originally Posted by sad_lonely_tear
i just want to be left alone... my family doesn't understand that. i'm going insaine....
I understand that my friend I am sorry that you cut yourself I wish that you would have tried to get a hold of me first, I am sure that we would have a lot to talk about and a lot of things incommin. I hope that you do consider me a friend, cause I consider you one, and that is what friends are for is to help each other and to listen to each other. Please get ahold of me on ***** or msn messenger I will await that day.

Love Vic
Luckyv2 is offline  
Old 09-30-2005, 02:23 PM
  # 72 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
sad_lonely_tear's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: wichita, ks
Posts: 36
DREAMER OF HELL
A dreamer of hell
The cast of spells
Falling in shadows deep
DArkening thoughts come to creep
Bloodshot eyes
Only to dispise
A heart of loneliness
A soul of emptiness
The voice of the calling
The tears are falling
From the dreamer of hell
That slowly fell
Into the dark
Of a lonely heart
Fell too deep
Will no longer sleep
A soul that yearns
Will forever burn
The only cost
A life forever lost

-------Cristin
sad_lonely_tear is offline  
Old 09-30-2005, 02:42 PM
  # 73 (permalink)  
JUST DO IT!!
 
Luckyv2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Here Or There
Posts: 7,612
Well that all described me to the tee, I will keep trying to do what I feel is right and hope that someday there will be light.

Love Vic
Luckyv2 is offline  
Old 09-30-2005, 07:45 PM
  # 74 (permalink)  
knucklehead
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: earth
Posts: 694
Cristin, I can still see the light of falling stars Megan sent you in my minds eye. Get a hold of a glimmer of that star light and hold on tight and believe. Cristin please keep those cuts clean and covered. If you think you have cut a deep enough wound that need stitches please see a medical specalist. "Stay strong everything will be alright."
kckman is offline  
Old 10-01-2005, 09:03 AM
  # 75 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
sad_lonely_tear's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: wichita, ks
Posts: 36
The calling of A searching Heart
Lonely tears fall
Nights break us all
Down deep inside
The soul threatens to cry
Forever Falling
A heart that's calling
Searching for what's not there
Always left in dispair
The darkness fill
The heart it kills
A bottomless pit
With pieces that don't fit
A river of tears
A valley of fears
With no one there
To show they care
A doy filled with fright
Of the forever falling night
Slipping, falling
Searching, calling
A heart that will never sleep
And will forever silently weep

------------Cristin
sad_lonely_tear is offline  
Old 10-01-2005, 12:12 PM
  # 76 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
sad_lonely_tear's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: wichita, ks
Posts: 36
gawd my nights are restless... i can't sleep. i have so much on my mind that wont escape. i'm so tired of being tired. heh go figure. i miss megan soo much. but hell my house is soooooo clean now. gives me something to do. i just keep telling myself to stay busy and you wont hurt. heh. doesn't work. gawd i want to cry. i wish i could.
sad_lonely_tear is offline  
Old 10-01-2005, 02:03 PM
  # 77 (permalink)  
I choose to live
 
ARIES's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Antwerp (Belgium)
Posts: 390
I wish you a lot of sthrenght with the loss of your friend..

And all the other pains you are goin' through...LOVE FROM Stefanie hug
ARIES is offline  
Old 10-12-2005, 01:40 PM
  # 78 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
sad_lonely_tear's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: wichita, ks
Posts: 36
something i found that might help

i fill out these questions everytime i feel the need to cut. i have been doing it for a little while now and the more i fill them out the more in depth i get. i am progressing to know why i do it and how to stop.

1.Why do I feel I need to hurt myself?
What has brought me to this point?
2.Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it?
How did I feel then?
3.What I have done to ease this discomfort so far?
What else can I do that won't hurt me?
4.How do I feel right now?
5.How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
6.How will I feel after hurting myself?
How will I feel tomorrow morning?
7.Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
8.Do I need to hurt myself?
sad_lonely_tear is offline  
Old 10-12-2005, 01:51 PM
  # 79 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: somewhere
Posts: 3,384
I came by to give you a big angel hug. ((((((SadLonelyTear)))))))
hopealwayz is offline  
Old 10-12-2005, 02:09 PM
  # 80 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
sad_lonely_tear's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: wichita, ks
Posts: 36
thanx for the hugs... means alot
sad_lonely_tear is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:44 AM.