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trying to quit, ex dealer keeps calling me, stirring up urges

Old 08-23-2005, 04:34 PM
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trying to quit, ex dealer keeps calling me, stirring up urges

I have been desperatly trying to got off coke in all forms. Whenever my dealer hasn't heard from me he starts calling. I try to not to pick up, but he plants the seed and I usually call back. I have tried changing my #, but he always seems to get a hold of it somehow. He just called and now I am afraid I am going to screw up

Beth
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Old 08-23-2005, 04:44 PM
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I know whatcha mean, I had some troubles with ex dealers of mine too, what I did was just moving away and turning my cell off for a while, best of luck to you. *hugs*
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Old 08-23-2005, 04:47 PM
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You might tell him if he calls again the police will get involved. Sometimes we haveto be tough to protect our precious clean time.This guy is not your friend! He sell's misery to you!
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Old 08-23-2005, 04:54 PM
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Beth...

My dealer showed up at my door....

They don't like losing customers... cuts into their cash flow...and trust me... all you are is a piece of meat that gives him money....



And speaking of doors....
as long as we leave a crack... addiction will try to slip in...
allowing thoughts of using helps to break down our defenses... so.. try not to think about it... and if your spiritual.. it really helped me to pray...

Sometimes.. we only have to get through a short time before we again realize that using is a dead end street...

Praying for clarity of thought... and the strength not to call...
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Old 08-23-2005, 05:03 PM
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If I threaten this guy with the police, I won't have to worry about the drugs killing me. He will take care of that quickly. He is not some young kid selling from thier parents house he is hard core dangerous. I told him I moved so he doesn't come to the house , but he keeps calling. I know I am just a cash cow to him, so he won't give up that easy.
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Old 08-23-2005, 05:03 PM
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Beth,

Tell him to get lost. We have a book to write.

Lynn
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Old 08-23-2005, 05:06 PM
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Tell him your done.Dont call back.If he calls back anyway,turn his sorry a$$ in.This is life or death here.Its really no different then putting a gun in someones face.The guy is making money and robbing your soul at the same time.I let it be known to everyone I was done.I deleted and destroyed all phone #s.I havent heard from any of them in a long time.You gotta be firm.Unless of course your not actually done yet.
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Old 08-23-2005, 05:09 PM
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Lynn,
I love you. I still haven't picked up the phone.

The book is on it's way

Beth
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Old 08-23-2005, 05:10 PM
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I was done with drug dealers scaring me a long time ago.F*ck him. Time2 is right.
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Old 08-23-2005, 05:28 PM
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Beth:


Good for you for wanting to stay away from it! That "dealer" isn't a "dealer" - he's a pusher! But whatever you want to call him, it's awful.

If you really want to not be contacted again, change your number - I know it's a pain, but it works.
Is this a home phone or cellphone? If it's home, get call blocking and block the number via the phone company - he'll get the hint hopefully. Also, report it as a harassing phone call whether it's a home number or not. That way, you won't be able to call back - because once you report it, you can't call without getting in trouble.

You could also anonymously turn the person in - just don't tell them you will.

I did that with my husband's dealer.
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Old 08-23-2005, 06:10 PM
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You have several options but the easiest I think is to just turn off or unplug your phone when you don't need it. If you don't know he's calling then you'll be less tempted.
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Old 08-23-2005, 06:22 PM
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Some cell phones will also block calls. I use that when my addicted mom calls me.
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Old 08-23-2005, 07:26 PM
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I just can't bring myself to be a rat
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Old 08-23-2005, 07:37 PM
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You don't have to be a rat, you just have to say NO.

My ex-dealer lives next door to me. It's hard, I know. Just the site of the person gets the wheels turning. that's why you MUST be strong in your recovery. Don't be a b*tch, or stir up trouble, just tell him you're no longer using. I highly doube he will respect that, but you must be firm.

I hate to say it, but it almost sounds like you might want to keep that line open (just in case).

Again, I don't know you or the situation, I just know from my own experience. It took months for me to finally tell my dealer I quit and that I did not want him to offer me dope.

When I first stopped using, I would just tell him I had no $$, or just not answer the phone. I honestly think, somewhere in my twisted addict mind, I wanted to keep that connection active, even if I wasn't using it. I finally got serious and told him, and then told him again (he continued to call, but I swear he was just doing that b/c his brain is fried and he forgot I wasn;t using.) So I told him again and again until he stopped calling.

I wish you all the best - I know it's hard. You CAN do this. Hel!, if I can, anybody can!

Much Love: SS
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Old 08-23-2005, 08:14 PM
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I don't think I can argue with you i do want to keep some connection just in case. I am afraid if I lose his # and decide to use again I will have to put myself in dangerous situations again. last time I tried to cop on the streets I got beaten up and my taken, I hold the # so that I won't roam the streets again . I am not sure if I am doing the right thing or if it is just the addict in me making excuses. Who am I kidding the addiction always wants to win. I think I have to stop fooling myself.

Thinking out loud,
Beth
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Old 08-23-2005, 08:32 PM
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Have you told him you want to quit? If not, tell him and ask him to stop calling as it's making quitting harder for you... If you have, you should say it again, with a more enforcing tone of voice...
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Old 08-23-2005, 08:48 PM
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Tell your ex dealer you go to AA or NA and your trying to stay sober.
I think most dealers are scared of the program and that may scare him off.

Hey next time he calls tell him you are going to an AA meeting and ask if he wants to come along.

Im sure he will leave you alone.
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Old 08-23-2005, 09:08 PM
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He doesn't care if I want to quit his job is to make $. Did anyone ever see the movie the pursuer. I feel like his mission is to get me to make addict my permanenet job. He does it at any cost. I will just have to keep myself busy here
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Old 08-23-2005, 09:12 PM
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The pushers may have won most of the battles but I am on day 4, without letting any of them through my fort.
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Old 08-23-2005, 09:20 PM
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Originally Posted by bfree4u
I don't think I can argue with you i do want to keep some connection just in case.
Just in case what? I hate to say it,but it looks like you are not done.If you have reservations in your recovery,odds are against it lasting.And I hate to sound like a jerk,but Im not gonna sugar coat anything.When it comes to recovery,you gotta want it.And you have to be willing to go to any lengths for it.I hung around here at SR for several months before I had enough.I was into the same thing as you.Today I have over 4 months.If I can do this,anyone can.Stick around and dont give up.
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