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Wish I would have known at the time.

Old 08-16-2005, 08:02 PM
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Angry Wish I would have known at the time.

During my last binge, I wiped a lot of money out of my bank account and now I don't have the money to pay my bills. I am taking some time off from work to work on myself so the money is not being replinished at the moment. I have some bill collectors calling now and I finally got a few paid. This is making me free stressed and angry at myself for not knowing better at the time. It sure did seem like a great idea at that moment, but now, I am in some trouble.

I am sure that things will work out though. I need to keep the faith. I also gotta keep praying to God because He is still in control.
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Old 08-16-2005, 08:26 PM
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I definitely understand. I'm always stressed out about money. Last year I racked up 4,000 in credit cards because I would take cash advances to buy drugs and alcohol. Now no matter what I do I can't manage to catch up. I used to hide from the problem and not answer the phone when creditors called. Recently though I've confronted it and things are getting better. I ended up calling all my creditors and explaining that I'm a college student who got way over my head and now I just want to deal with it as responsibly as possible. Usually they'll work with you. I definitely understand about being angry.....I could kick myself a million times for being so reckless. You're right though...things will work out. Good luck with everything!!
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Old 08-16-2005, 08:39 PM
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I got in so deep I ended up having to file for bankruptcy. It's not a course of action I would necessarily recomend, but for me it was necessary. I was over 50 grand in the whole, mostly credit cards and about 10k in medical expenses, related to my addiction and the related depression. It was really the only way out for me, I was just in so deep. I was out of work for awhile and it has given me a fresh start. That is the good part, the part that sucks is having to put deposits on any new accounts I set up (once I am finally able to move out of my parrents house again, age 37!!), paying outragous interest rates on any loans I do take out, like a car to replace the 10 year old one with 140k miles on it that I'm driving now (but it's paid for!!!), not being able to qualify for mortgages, etc. The pressure of the debt was so much for me that I really saw this as the only way out. A last resort, but one that I was glad was there. Hang in there angel, you'll make it, just remember how you are feeling now next time going out and using seems like a "good idea"!! Take care.
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Old 08-16-2005, 08:44 PM
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I know exactly how you feel too! I totally ignored all my bills when i was drinking. Now im suddenly having reality slap me big time in the face with it. Playing catch is hard while at the same time you are trying to get sober and stay sober. Im slowly getting there. Sometimes i just want to have a drink when im looking at those bills but then i think well thats just going to take me back to square one and i will have even more catching up to do. Well keep the faith and don't don't give up!
love,
Kerry
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Old 08-17-2005, 01:40 AM
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It wish it got easier...it seems that even now after 2 years clean it is still hard to catch up. As long as we dont let ourselves fall back into the sickness, it should get better.
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Old 08-17-2005, 04:29 AM
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((((((((((Angel))))))))))) Yep. Our consequences can be a pain in the a$$. I still struggle with money, but at least now it is not getting worse. Some habits die hard. As you said, it will be okay. Most bill collectors will work with you as long as you are open and honest about what is going on and what you can do. When things start to look really bad for me, I try to remind myself about what I really NEED--and let the other stuff go. I know today that I can get through anything as long as I don't drink or use.

Thnking about you!!--

Hugs--
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Old 08-17-2005, 04:42 AM
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Angel,

As others said, dealing with the consequences we create is really hard, but there it is. I've had a hard time with that too and I came across this quote from Maya Angelou. She is an amazing woman who made a lot of mistakes in her life, but moved gracefully ahead anyways and accomplished all she set out to do.

"At the time, I did what I knew to do, and when I knew better, I did better".

Love, Anna
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