Just quit, need support
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Republic Of Texas
Posts: 452
Originally Posted by Scared2Bme
Quick Question? Has anyone ever noticed a lack of sex drive due to quiting pot? I am ussually quite active but since I quit, I rarely have been in the mood. I am sure this lack of drive will fade with a few weeks(I hope).
Not all better, getting better
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Beautiful Inner Banks of NC
Posts: 1,702
Originally Posted by Scared2Bme
Quick Question? Has anyone ever noticed a lack of sex drive due to quiting pot? I am ussually quite active but since I quit, I rarely have been in the mood. I am sure this lack of drive will fade with a few weeks(I hope).
One "positive" side effect quitting has had for me, is the fact that many movies I watched while high, I really don't remember too much about, so it's like seeing them for the first time!!!
Glad you're doing well. Take care.
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Hiya Scared2Bme! My name is Barry and I'm a alcoholic and an addict. I'm a former cannabiscuithead. I gave up pot 11 years ago as of this recent Aug 1st. I drank a lot more than I smoked. Like the others have mentioned, I also strongly recommend NA. Keep counting off the clean hours! That's great. One day at a time...that's the popular slogan...but you gotta live it by the moment sometimes.
Keep On Coming Back!!
Keep On Coming Back!!
Free from Weed!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: cali
Posts: 44
Hey everyone!!! Thanks for the support. Me and my girl had the greatest revalation last night. Ussually when we go out to dinner we just sit there and we do not conversate much and if we do its a quick sentence or unimportant ect. Last night when we wen't out to dinner we had the greatest time together, I don't think we stopped talking/laughing once the whole night. I think it was the best date we have ever beenon in the 8-9 yrs we have been together. Definitely a bonus for both of us!
128hrs clean and a lifetime to go. soon I'll be counting the weeks, looking forward to it. Hope all of you are hanging in there! You are all on my thoughts and you are one of the greatest groups of people I've come across. Keep that spirit going!
Your Friend,
Scared
128hrs clean and a lifetime to go. soon I'll be counting the weeks, looking forward to it. Hope all of you are hanging in there! You are all on my thoughts and you are one of the greatest groups of people I've come across. Keep that spirit going!
Your Friend,
Scared
Keep up the good work dude.
Free from Weed!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: cali
Posts: 44
Yeah! tonight at 2:00 am I will be one week clean. I feel great! I think about pot still but not about using, I think about how it was sending me down a spiral, I am on my way up to a better life!
Iam enjoying my life now, before I thought I was enjoying it while high but I realize it made life less enjoyable and the pot is what was causing my struggles and pains, not life.
Thank Goodness for this site, I love it and I love the great people here. Things are looking up!
Adam, not Scared anymore!
Iam enjoying my life now, before I thought I was enjoying it while high but I realize it made life less enjoyable and the pot is what was causing my struggles and pains, not life.
Thank Goodness for this site, I love it and I love the great people here. Things are looking up!
Adam, not Scared anymore!
We all need each other.
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: The road of happy destiny.
Posts: 2,294
Glad to hear you are doing so well! And you still have a lot of THC in your system, so it will still get even better. Thanks for continuing to post. So many people come here, post once, and then are never heard from again. It is so good to hear the success (and struggles) all along the way. Hang in there!
Hugs--
Hugs--
Free from Weed!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: cali
Posts: 44
Wow I had a rough night of work, First of all we were one man short at the start. We had 2 guys in one area and the other was preping the next area. I ran over to get the ather guy to help us with some back breaking labor, he was gone? The bucket of cement was full and mixed the trowl and concrete was on the floor but he was gone. I waited a moment guessing he ran to the restroom... time wen't by then I noticed his toolbox was gone. He ditched us! Left a mess as to say F you and turned his phone off. This made the rest of the night a struggle on me and the rookie.AHHHHHH!
Sorry had to vent, anyways I really wanted to go and relapse find some pot and say Fk it! Luckily it was 2am and there no shot at finding pot at those hours. Luckily I knew there was no resin or else I would of dug some out. I did'nt do anything, not even a beer, it was just tough and my neck is cramped from stress.
Its been a whole week clean now! I don't feel as good today as I have the last few days. The stress of work is breaking me down. I need some encouragement to stay strong
Scared Again
Sorry had to vent, anyways I really wanted to go and relapse find some pot and say Fk it! Luckily it was 2am and there no shot at finding pot at those hours. Luckily I knew there was no resin or else I would of dug some out. I did'nt do anything, not even a beer, it was just tough and my neck is cramped from stress.
Its been a whole week clean now! I don't feel as good today as I have the last few days. The stress of work is breaking me down. I need some encouragement to stay strong
Scared Again
Free from Weed!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: cali
Posts: 44
So I just got the call that all my employees hate me and they say that I'm a ******* ******* to them since I quit smoking. Thats why the dude ditcked us.
Great just great! I feel like giving up I can't take this ****. Why should I keep trying, why? If people don't like me for who I am maybe I should go back to being scared.
This is why I did'nt wan't to quit in the first place, I'm a ******* obssesive compulsive ******* who can't cope with idiots, I can't control my anger, I feel like a piece of ****. I can't go back to work knowing everybody hates me. I feel like going out and buying a bag right now I feel like running from this ********, I can't take it. I wonder if my girl feels the same way about me. I need someone to talk to now, help me I am ready to give up. HURRY!
Great just great! I feel like giving up I can't take this ****. Why should I keep trying, why? If people don't like me for who I am maybe I should go back to being scared.
This is why I did'nt wan't to quit in the first place, I'm a ******* obssesive compulsive ******* who can't cope with idiots, I can't control my anger, I feel like a piece of ****. I can't go back to work knowing everybody hates me. I feel like going out and buying a bag right now I feel like running from this ********, I can't take it. I wonder if my girl feels the same way about me. I need someone to talk to now, help me I am ready to give up. HURRY!
Not all better, getting better
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Beautiful Inner Banks of NC
Posts: 1,702
Hey man, sorry things have been rough for you lately. It is tough for the first few weeks, nerves are a bit frazzled and such. I don't have any real sage advice other than it will get better. In fact I find that I actually have more patience than I used to. I never really had alot of patience before, I was just f'ing stoned all the time, and you did not want to be around me when I ran out!! Now I'm not going to tell you that every day is all happiness and joy, life just ain't like that. But I do seem to have developed a degree of, what the 12-stepers call serenity lately. Things that used to set me off, don't seem to phase me as much. I think it is called learning to deal with life. I used to deal with it by getting stoned all the time, that is just not an option for me anymore, so I've had to learn patience. You said you started smoking at age 13, you were still a child then, you have never had to learn patience, you just got high instead. It's gonna take some time, and some people are going to think you are an a-hole. Guess what, you can't make everyone happy. Granted you can't be such a *rick that everyone quits on you, but what is more important, that people like you or that you handle what you have already admited is a problem in your life? I hope you held out on buying that "big bag", but even if you didn't keep posting here and let us know how you are doing. Recovery is a process and if it were an easy one all those freakin treatment centers would be out of business!!! Take care, hope tomorrow is a better day.
Support our Troops.
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Republic Of Texas
Posts: 452
Greetings Adam,
I can relate to your feelings and problems with anger. I too have a short fuse, although it is getting better.
I am taking the liberty of reposting something that Don S. posted on anger that really helped me make the final connection that I needed to stay clean/sober.
I have this post tacked up in several areas arond my house and workshop.
Don S. is a fine writer and poster of great information. You may want to look up some of his other posts, he is great.
ANGER
A Disabling Emotion
Anger is not an involuntary emotional response to a specific situation. Anger arises from a philosophy-a way of viewing the world. At its core, anger represents an outlook of grandiosity, self-righteousness, commanding, and condemning. Many mental health professionals disagree with this view, that all kinds of anger are generally bad for you. Most therapists classify anger as "appropriate" or "inappropriate" according to context, and they usually argue that, when appropriate, it is healthy to express anger ("let it out") and unhealthy to suppress anger ("bottle it up").
Recent research, however, contradicts this popular view, and suggests that all anger, expressed or suppressed, is harmful to your health and damaging to your relationships with other people. Among the many difficulties associated with anger are:
o Increased likelihood of heart attack, stroke, and hypertension
o Greater difficulty in solving problems constructively
o A tendency for the anger, which may start in one area of your life, to overlap and extend into other areas
o Preoccupation with thoughts of revenge
o Adopting an antagonistic attitude, which needlessly alienates other people with whom it's advantageous to have cordial dealings
o A predisposition to violence, especially child abuse
But doesn't expressing anger help release a lot of pent-up frustration? It's true that an outburst of anger may sometimes momentarily provide relief. But psychological distress often takes its toll on the body, and some preliminary evidence suggests that expressed anger causes more physical damage than suppressed anger. There is, however, a third alternative to suppressing or expressing your anger: Don't make yourself angry in the first place!
The "expressive" approach implies that anger is something inside you, like a gallbladder. If your gallbladder bothers you, you could have it removed, and then it won't bother you anymore. Similarly, if you can get your anger out, it won't be inside you any more, causing distress.
This view is hopelessly mistaken. Anger is not a physical entity. It's a feeling generated by an attitude or belief. You don't free yourself of feelings by expressing the attitudes and beliefs that create them. That usually reaffirms and strengthens those attitudes and thus makes the feeling more likely to return.
Consider an opposite sort of feeling, like love - a feeling that we often want to continue. It's clear that the more you express feelings of love, tenderness, and caring, the more loving, tender, and caring you are likely to become. No one would suppose that by expressing such feelings you were "letting them out" and thus losing them.
It's exactly the same with the self-destructive feeling of anger. If you express your anger, you reaffirm and solidify your angry attitude, and make it more difficult to dispel. If you refrain from expressing your anger, this may be the first step towards avoiding anger entirely.
Some Things Anger IS
1) It is acting out of control in order to gain control.
2) It is emotional disturbance.
3) It is distorted thinking.
4) It is self-righteous.
5) Unhealthy and can literally make us physically ill.
6) Usually a mask for other, deeper emotions (hurt, fear).
7) Addictive, because it can make us feel good in the short run.
8) Psychologically harmful, because it can increase our frustration and anxiety in the long run.
Some Things Anger IS NOT
1) A stress reducer.
2) A safe way to express feelings.
3) A good way to motivate behavior change in myself or others.
4) An effective way to express a message.
5) An agent of control.
6) A requirement when threatened.
7) A symbol of strength.
8) A result of unmet needs (neediness is the problem!)
9) A learned behavior (it is inborn!)
10) An emotion that will run its course (it escalates!)
Tips for the Management of Anger
1) Always try to say I made MYSELF angry.
2) Give up the idea that anger must be expressed.
3) Know what to overlook.
4) Recognize that people aren't against you, they are merely for themselves.
5) Lower your voice.
6) Recognize the hurt or fear that precedes anger.
7) Recognize that another person's abusive behavior says more about them and their emotional pain than it says about you.
8) Ask yourself if your feelings of anger are helping your problem solving skills.
9) Avoid scorekeeping.
10) Learn not to hit the sore spots.
11) Ask yourself how important the issue will be in a week.
12) Avoid mind reading.
13) Learn to agree to disagree.
14) Kill them with kindness.
15) Work on anger coping self-statements for "comprehensive emotional rustproofing."
Techniques for Anger Management
Express feelings in a safe environment (catharsis).
Report anger to the person you are angry with.
Mourn any losses connected to an incident that angers you.
Keep a journal of what triggers your anger and how you respond.
Identify and correct cognitive distortions.
Replace 'hot thoughts' with 'cool thoughts.'
Revise 'should rules' to be more realistic.
Analyze the costs and benefits of being angry vs. 'letting it go.'
Develop the ability to empathize with the person you are angry with.
Recognize when you are feeling angry or when it is a cover-up for fear, shame, guilt.
Practice a quick form of gaining control, such as counting to 10.
I can relate to your feelings and problems with anger. I too have a short fuse, although it is getting better.
I am taking the liberty of reposting something that Don S. posted on anger that really helped me make the final connection that I needed to stay clean/sober.
I have this post tacked up in several areas arond my house and workshop.
Don S. is a fine writer and poster of great information. You may want to look up some of his other posts, he is great.
ANGER
A Disabling Emotion
Anger is not an involuntary emotional response to a specific situation. Anger arises from a philosophy-a way of viewing the world. At its core, anger represents an outlook of grandiosity, self-righteousness, commanding, and condemning. Many mental health professionals disagree with this view, that all kinds of anger are generally bad for you. Most therapists classify anger as "appropriate" or "inappropriate" according to context, and they usually argue that, when appropriate, it is healthy to express anger ("let it out") and unhealthy to suppress anger ("bottle it up").
Recent research, however, contradicts this popular view, and suggests that all anger, expressed or suppressed, is harmful to your health and damaging to your relationships with other people. Among the many difficulties associated with anger are:
o Increased likelihood of heart attack, stroke, and hypertension
o Greater difficulty in solving problems constructively
o A tendency for the anger, which may start in one area of your life, to overlap and extend into other areas
o Preoccupation with thoughts of revenge
o Adopting an antagonistic attitude, which needlessly alienates other people with whom it's advantageous to have cordial dealings
o A predisposition to violence, especially child abuse
But doesn't expressing anger help release a lot of pent-up frustration? It's true that an outburst of anger may sometimes momentarily provide relief. But psychological distress often takes its toll on the body, and some preliminary evidence suggests that expressed anger causes more physical damage than suppressed anger. There is, however, a third alternative to suppressing or expressing your anger: Don't make yourself angry in the first place!
The "expressive" approach implies that anger is something inside you, like a gallbladder. If your gallbladder bothers you, you could have it removed, and then it won't bother you anymore. Similarly, if you can get your anger out, it won't be inside you any more, causing distress.
This view is hopelessly mistaken. Anger is not a physical entity. It's a feeling generated by an attitude or belief. You don't free yourself of feelings by expressing the attitudes and beliefs that create them. That usually reaffirms and strengthens those attitudes and thus makes the feeling more likely to return.
Consider an opposite sort of feeling, like love - a feeling that we often want to continue. It's clear that the more you express feelings of love, tenderness, and caring, the more loving, tender, and caring you are likely to become. No one would suppose that by expressing such feelings you were "letting them out" and thus losing them.
It's exactly the same with the self-destructive feeling of anger. If you express your anger, you reaffirm and solidify your angry attitude, and make it more difficult to dispel. If you refrain from expressing your anger, this may be the first step towards avoiding anger entirely.
Some Things Anger IS
1) It is acting out of control in order to gain control.
2) It is emotional disturbance.
3) It is distorted thinking.
4) It is self-righteous.
5) Unhealthy and can literally make us physically ill.
6) Usually a mask for other, deeper emotions (hurt, fear).
7) Addictive, because it can make us feel good in the short run.
8) Psychologically harmful, because it can increase our frustration and anxiety in the long run.
Some Things Anger IS NOT
1) A stress reducer.
2) A safe way to express feelings.
3) A good way to motivate behavior change in myself or others.
4) An effective way to express a message.
5) An agent of control.
6) A requirement when threatened.
7) A symbol of strength.
8) A result of unmet needs (neediness is the problem!)
9) A learned behavior (it is inborn!)
10) An emotion that will run its course (it escalates!)
Tips for the Management of Anger
1) Always try to say I made MYSELF angry.
2) Give up the idea that anger must be expressed.
3) Know what to overlook.
4) Recognize that people aren't against you, they are merely for themselves.
5) Lower your voice.
6) Recognize the hurt or fear that precedes anger.
7) Recognize that another person's abusive behavior says more about them and their emotional pain than it says about you.
8) Ask yourself if your feelings of anger are helping your problem solving skills.
9) Avoid scorekeeping.
10) Learn not to hit the sore spots.
11) Ask yourself how important the issue will be in a week.
12) Avoid mind reading.
13) Learn to agree to disagree.
14) Kill them with kindness.
15) Work on anger coping self-statements for "comprehensive emotional rustproofing."
Techniques for Anger Management
Express feelings in a safe environment (catharsis).
Report anger to the person you are angry with.
Mourn any losses connected to an incident that angers you.
Keep a journal of what triggers your anger and how you respond.
Identify and correct cognitive distortions.
Replace 'hot thoughts' with 'cool thoughts.'
Revise 'should rules' to be more realistic.
Analyze the costs and benefits of being angry vs. 'letting it go.'
Develop the ability to empathize with the person you are angry with.
Recognize when you are feeling angry or when it is a cover-up for fear, shame, guilt.
Practice a quick form of gaining control, such as counting to 10.
Free from Weed!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: cali
Posts: 44
Plano I really liked the post, lots of inspiration. Alera, Tyler, thanks for responding and caring I appreciate it. You guys/gals don't have to read the rest I am just venting about the situation.
So the dude who left us hanging last night finally turns on his phone but won't except my call I left him a message. It basically wen't like this: Look dude if you'd like to be a man and apologize to us for leaving us hanging then I'll hear you out, if you wan't to tell me what I did that was directed towards you personally I'll hear you out, my phones on. I finally got a call an hour before work and he says, I'm coming in tonight like nothing happened. I said whoa dude I think you owe the two of us an apology for ditching us. He refused he feels he did nothing wrong, he was 50 yards away and thought he heard us talking crap about him because he forgot the supplies we really needed, now I'll be the first to admit if I was being an Ahole, but last night was'nt that night, fusterated yes but I directed no personal insults to him or regarding him just the situation.
I asked him, tell me exactly what I said that offended you and I will apologize. He said two things, one was I asked in a calm but fusterated tone how come you took the supplies out of the truck, he said bla bla bla and I said man thats really hurting us tonight. I walked away fusterated laughing at the situation. Then he said he heard me talking crap about him 50 yards away. I said nothing personal just venting about the situation to my helper. When I explained to him what was actually said he even addmitted he heard me wrong and took it personal. I gave him another chance, said look bro I enjoy working with you and I'd hate to see you leave, just apologize to us and things will be cool. He got irrate and still claims he did nothing wrong. I asked him if he has that man complex that refuses to let him apologize. Again he became irrate claiming there is nothing to apologize about. I said so your quiting then. He said no I wan't to work. I said cool just apologize and we will be cool. He refused and I said well don't bother coming back because I refuse to work with someone who treats his co-workers this way. I said good luck in life and I hope everything works out for you.
Wow what a stubborn man, gives up his job because he's to big headed to apologize. I was blown away, and upset I lost a good employee, but no other job would give a person a seconed chance after an ordeal like that. Oh well there's plenty of other folks needing jobs and I am sure we'll find a good replacement.
Anyways tonight was long but wen't smooth for the most part, I was in a really good mood despite the circumstances. Well on to the new day, life goes on!
Thanks for listening,
Adam
So the dude who left us hanging last night finally turns on his phone but won't except my call I left him a message. It basically wen't like this: Look dude if you'd like to be a man and apologize to us for leaving us hanging then I'll hear you out, if you wan't to tell me what I did that was directed towards you personally I'll hear you out, my phones on. I finally got a call an hour before work and he says, I'm coming in tonight like nothing happened. I said whoa dude I think you owe the two of us an apology for ditching us. He refused he feels he did nothing wrong, he was 50 yards away and thought he heard us talking crap about him because he forgot the supplies we really needed, now I'll be the first to admit if I was being an Ahole, but last night was'nt that night, fusterated yes but I directed no personal insults to him or regarding him just the situation.
I asked him, tell me exactly what I said that offended you and I will apologize. He said two things, one was I asked in a calm but fusterated tone how come you took the supplies out of the truck, he said bla bla bla and I said man thats really hurting us tonight. I walked away fusterated laughing at the situation. Then he said he heard me talking crap about him 50 yards away. I said nothing personal just venting about the situation to my helper. When I explained to him what was actually said he even addmitted he heard me wrong and took it personal. I gave him another chance, said look bro I enjoy working with you and I'd hate to see you leave, just apologize to us and things will be cool. He got irrate and still claims he did nothing wrong. I asked him if he has that man complex that refuses to let him apologize. Again he became irrate claiming there is nothing to apologize about. I said so your quiting then. He said no I wan't to work. I said cool just apologize and we will be cool. He refused and I said well don't bother coming back because I refuse to work with someone who treats his co-workers this way. I said good luck in life and I hope everything works out for you.
Wow what a stubborn man, gives up his job because he's to big headed to apologize. I was blown away, and upset I lost a good employee, but no other job would give a person a seconed chance after an ordeal like that. Oh well there's plenty of other folks needing jobs and I am sure we'll find a good replacement.
Anyways tonight was long but wen't smooth for the most part, I was in a really good mood despite the circumstances. Well on to the new day, life goes on!
Thanks for listening,
Adam
Not all better, getting better
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Beautiful Inner Banks of NC
Posts: 1,702
Sounds like you handled the situation well. You can't have people working for you that you can't count on. If he thinks it's ok to have a hissy fit and walk off the job whenever he gets his feelings hurt, you don't need him. A person like that can also poison a whole crew over time. You're better off without him. Glad you're doing well. Take care.
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